It's no different than sending thoughts and prayers. It doesn't actually do anything but makes the person sending/saying it feel better.

Hm, I was about to throw out something about the wanting to listen bit, but seeing that, maybe not...

Have you ever heard how programmers use rubber ducks? When they come to a standstill with a coding problem, they explain the code line by line to the duck. By doing this, they usually find their mistake in the code and are able to rectify it.

Same concept.

I did! I'm not proud of it.

Other way around - you're right I left these details out, didn't seem pertinent. I'll explain a bit.

Just after they started dating, I agreed to let the boyfriend move in with me. K said she would side with me if there were ever any problems.

There were problems almost immediately, he barely paid any rent for the first three months. Rather than siding with me, K allowed the boyfriend to move in with her for free.

To both of their credit, he did pay me back eventually. It just took a lot of reminding, a lot of him guilt tripping me, and 10 months.

You're being downvoted because Reddit, but yes, there's something incredibly lazy and cruel (not to mention antithetical to therapy, which it waters down to the point of meaninglessness) about the blunt-force way therapy-speak is wielded in the TikTok era.

F

If he did he escape via my sump pump into a historic blizzard haha

The ending of the story seems a bit of a fuck up. It sounded like you got hurt by her so you just resorted to insulting her boyfriend and her. Not how you should treat friends.

I truly don’t understand that. I don’t understand why a person would explain there problems and then not want help or the answer to there problems. It just doesn’t make any sense.

Thanks for your thoughts! Your timeline is a little off.

First, I recommended therapy and she freaked, but we made up. A few years later, after a couple other bumps, she cuts me out specifically citing the recommendation as her #1 reason.

I did apologize and attempt to make up for the first infraction. I thought we were fine. Guess not!

My mom REALLY doesn't like creepy-crawlies of any description, so it was extra traumatizing.

Did you borrow the bf rent money?

Glitch in the Matrix. It happens.

You sound like you need therapy..

Recommending therapy to someone can be really offensive, especially if they actually do need therapy.

But I’m also going to assume you didn’t apologize for offending her, and making it clear why you recommended it, and made significant effort to rectify it.

Was it a fuck up? Doesn’t seem like it. I don’t get any indication that losing her as a friend is a big deal. If losing her was, then the fuck up is not taking offending her more seriously. I mean, you offended her, then waited for her to reach back out?

If I’m off base, my apologies. Bring on the downvotes!

Was years ago, and you said what you said because you tried to be there for them, but in the end couldn't. Anyone who is suicidal should seek professional help- in whatever form that takes.

When your mental health is shit, you're not in the best position to be any help to others.

In the past I've told people to seek help, and people have told me to also. I've never held it against them or vice versa.

I'm not sure why you're getting downvoted - if someone is coming to you to offload/release mental pressure, you should always ask if they want an ear or advice. Although, if a man could solve my problems and I wanted advice I'd be down to listen lol.

Dysfunctional women just want to rant at you and not hear any actual advice or feedback. That’s not all women.

The difficulties of finding a decent therapist doesn't not cancel the fact that you may need therapy..

Seeing a therapist doesn't mean you are crazy.

You just rejected a friend that wanted to help you.

« Women don't want a man to solve their problems, they want them to listen.»

Why not both?

I could imagine a dust covered crayfish would be something to see lol

Crayfish can travel quite a long ways out of water. We caught some in a river near our house, brought them home, and put them in a tank. About half of them escaped overnight. My mom found the one while she was getting ready for work the next morning when it crawled out from under her dresser--apparently mobile dust bunnies with claws are quite terrifying.

We found most of the rest of them, but one of them just disappeared. We think maybe our dog ate it?

Ask away, I've given a synopsis and fessed up my sins. I can clarify anything else for you.

I feel so bad after you told me these naming stories… her name had no significance. And I didn’t change it after she had babies.

RIP Johnny.

As someone who has had the word "therapy" thrown at me by somebody who I thought was a friend and who had 0 idea how hard it is to find a decent therapist, you could not have done much worse. Women don't want a man to solve their problems, they want them to listen.