You don't love her, OP. You love yourself. You don't listen to what she says. You don't respect what she says. When she says she doesn't want to be with you right now, you're like a relentless bulldozer that bashes right over anything she says-- to push what you want. Why is she the perfect wifey material? Because how she makes =you= feel. It's always about YOU, OP.

She says she doesn't want to be friends. You say, "But I need you to be friends with me, because of what you do for me. So we will stay friends, regardless of what you say and how you feel."

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That's not love.

Nah me and my friends went up to the main guy and beat his ass then stole all his stuff

If it makes you feel any better, don't blame yourself for saving money. I went with the reputable (expensive) option moving from the UK to the US. Still took over a year, and half my things were broken. I paid for insurance too, and that was a complete waste of money, as they refused to cover any of it.

I'm sorry about your un replaceable items, but don't feel any guilt over it.

You seem to be aware that your behavior is disruptful (occasionally making loud noises) but you seem to have decided that's acceptable, why is that?

Sadly the commenter below ended up rage blocking me. Here is the last comment intended for her, hopefully she reads it...

Look you were the one who asked me to elaborate on how I knew about science and autism, thats why I brought up my education and work experience. And you are the one clinging to your own anecdotes some sort of evidence that you must know everything about schooling environments. Where you are using your own family history as some sort of bible about how you know best. Which is both incredibly arrogant and exactly the type of thing you should have learnt not to do by now if you truly are only 2 university level papers short of your degree.

The learning environment is for all students, ALL. That means the ones who are not disrupting the class have just as much right to learn and be distraction free as the ones who cannot control their outbursts. Like I said above, if a student is in able of adjusting their behavior to meet the rules of one particular class environment then a more suitable classroom environment should be made available to them.

That's what I know, that's what the literature says, that's what boards of education recommended and that's what works.

What doesn't work is some half educated parent marching into a school and defending her child's inappropriate behavior and shielding them behind a diagnosis. That helps no one and is the source of the majority of frustrations teachers and administrators face regularly.

Now kindly pull your head out of your ass and realize that you and your kids are part of society, not the center of it.

And you seem not to know what anecdote means.

You probably wouldn't be missed if you didn't go back in.

Just blame the technology lol

Mate, I can't tell you what to do but I wish you luck. I hope you can treat her properly with the respect she deserves as a person. It's very painful right now and I understand that. Work on you. Grow. I know you can do it

Pretty sure you really arent in danger of anything legally. If anyone asks you about it, just tell them that some crazy chick bummed a ride of you and you took her to the gas station, aint your business what shes doing inside there. And I dont think this small theft is anything someone will say was coordinated from inside the car. So as long as you dont lie when asked, like saying you werent there, it shoulld be fine. Dont do favours for her again though.

No use in hiding or cowering - own it. Walk back in there with your head held high. Everybody fucked up in his life at some point.

Well my story doesn’t have a happy ending I’m afraid. We stayed together but she ended up cheating on me. Now I’m not at all saying that’s how yours will end. But you do have to understand that the things that you, just like me, did and said to them hurt them more than we will probably ever know and there’s a chance the wounds that we inflicted on them may never fully heal. All we can really do is learn from our past, fix our mistakes, and better ourselves. We have to be better than we were. The sad truth is, you may never get her back and if you do she may never truly trust you again. But whether you and her work out or not, you’ll be a better man and at the end of the day improving ourselves and learning from our past is all we can really do

I only told my fuck ups in the story to get advice on what I can do better next time if there is one. Did you get back together with her at all ?

I want to add onto this that OP could also maybe try and find other outlets aside from verbal stimming that they can try to turn to when in an environment that expects people to be quiet/silent. I know it could be hard, and I doubt it'd stop the verbal stimming entirely (honestly, I wouldn't expect it to) but it would still be useful to have other outlets rather than noise making.

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Speaking from experience, noise making - especially repetitive noise - can drive people absolutely mad if they have to hear it for an extended period of time. I tend to whistle when bored and I have like 2-3 tunes that I do on repeat: Twisted nerve, lost woods and imperial march. Unfortunately for my coworkers, I am able to whistle very loudly.

It doesn't bother regardless of how much I whistle those tunes, but my coworkers who - if I'm placed at self checkout - can hear it for around ~8 hours in a day? It gets annoying quick and they didn't start out coming up to me and letting me know that the whistle was getting irritating. They'd just try to ignore it, but that isn't fair to them; it may have been keeping me from going insane from boredom, but it was driving them to insanity.

In the end I think they ended up joking with me about it, and that caused me to realize I was whistling perhaps more than I realized and I told them why I was doing it - not to be annoying, but because it was basically my idle mode - and that I would do my best to have something else - something quite - to do but that if I did whistle, it wasn't intentional and they could tell me to stop and I wouldn't be mad.

I've since started carrying baoding balls or a deck of cards with me, that way instead of occupying my mind with a whistle, I can do something with my hands to keep my mind from driving me crazy due to boredom. Sometimes I still whistle out of habit, but I have my other outlets to turn to instead or when I catch myself whistling (or when I don't but my coworkers do and decide they need me to stop).

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If you know why did you out in your title that it was self defense?

I know man. I was in a relationship that I was kind of dependent on her for my happiness. I realized how fucked up it was of me to force her into that role whether I meant to or not. Trust me, it’s better to love someone after you’ve healed yourself

Try an exfoliant as well as dish soap. Like a sugar scrub. So sorry, but this did make me giggle. Best wishes.

Yeah it really is. A lot of people go missing every year because they don’t have the kill switch clipped on. Putting that on will save your life.

I understand, I made this post only including my fuck ups. But truly this is part of the reason she broke up with me. Time is another factor, and she blames herself for that. I just want to work on myself in the mean while, while showing I still want to be there for her.

I know it isn’t, that’s why I’m seeking therapy, the only hope I have is because she said I was the right person. I want to heal and find happiness in other things, but it’s hard when the only way I found happiness was with her.

I guess self defense mechanism rather means it was kind of his last option he saw to stand up for himself. And not self defense by it’s definition.

Physical outbursts can happen if you‘re being harassed. Actually they‘re rather common as far as i remember.

Anyhow: whilst I understand your reaction, violence is never the right choice. Try to avoid those situations or seek for other methods to stop those outbursts. Especially because you kinda maneuvered yourself into that situation with being loud. So it should be avoidable kinda easily.

Seek help from your parents, teachers,… and try to stop the harassment to protect yourself and your classmates.

Seeking an anger therapy is a nice solution as well. Trying to learn new methods to avoid it and probably being able to clean up other stuff (like being loud for no reason) too.

We're kinda a one horse town. I might have to visit the gas station later.

Every interaction I have with her is just so random. I try to be nice because I know no one in this town and I feel a little sorry for her. She likes her smokes and likes the sauce, she's flashed me her underwear more than once and told me she won't tell if I spank my kids. It was just another surreal day with her.

Brother, I’m also a recovering alcoholic. 5 years in. It sounds like your in your early stages. Don’t give up 5 mins before the miracle happens because it will. Took me going out twice before it clicked. Hoping you have a sponsor and a good group around you. Honestly nowadays it’s not looked at as negatively as in the past. It’s recognized that it’s a disease and not simply something you can stop without help. Sending positive energy

Yeah your car is probably on camera this could screw you

Glad you’re ok, and on the road to recovery. Your story reminds me of why clipping that little lanyard tied to the kill switch onto your belt loop is so important, especially on small boats!