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That's not what I said at all. You can't begin to move on until you've forgiven the person. They are responsible for their actions, not your emotions or reaction. That's not lying to them, you can still be open about being upset still and any healthy relationship will work from that. But to hold out forgiveness until you feel like you are okay? That's a lot less healthy.

Yeah, like at least it wasn't bleeding and cracked.

Okay, but how the fuck would you know?

Oh.

Honestly, I just kind of floated around a bit. I got a stable job they paid well because my dad hooked me up. But I didn’t really start taking charge and being motivated until my son was born. Then I felt motivation to provide him a good life. I’ve been hustling ever since and I think I’ve done a pretty good job.

Usually when I nut and fall asleep, I figure it's a bit of cum drying and sticking the urethra closed but I'm not a dick doctor so what I know?

WHAT?? HOLD ON IM DOING AN EXPERIMENT

Nothing you did or can do will stop a cheater from cheating. That’s a decision that’s 100% on him. You did NOT FU. This is NOT your fault. Get all your affairs in order before speaking to him.

I see. I'm using it in the psychological sense of actually forgiving someone, and you are just lying to make the other person happy. That's super unhealthy.

I'm really sorry this happened to you.

You can see it on this subreddit still!

Well at least that was the only issue with the foreskin…

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Yeah I feel like there are a ton of super weird responses trying to tip toe around cheater's feelings. If he had been banging a woman behind her back i really don't think these people would be being so empathetic.

If the guy was struggling to be out i feel bad for him about that. But he's also a grade A scumbag for cheating on what sounds like an incredibly caring and devoted girlfriend. There's nothing to "work out" here, he doesn't deserve her effort.

>My wife hasn't forgiven me for things I did while we were dating

Yeah this doesn't sound great either man. There are certainly things that take longer to forgive someone for, but not sure if those are things that are compatible with a continuing relationship.

I think we just have different views maybe of what is considered "forgiving" someone and what is considered continuing feelings of... Whatever it is, anger/disappointment/betrayal.

I can forgive someone for something they have done, that doesn't mean I am over my feelings about it, it just means it's moved on to the next "phase" of forgiveness.

Can I ask how you got out of the rut? How did you figure out what you wanted to do with your life?

You have to lift your arms to clean your armpits, gonna lop those off as well to save him the hassle?

You didn’t fuck up. If the only thing that was stopping your bf from cheating before was lack of an opportunity then he was already a cheater.

Hello

For an 18 year old sinner you are very articulate.

Anyways, sorry for your predicament things will probably be difficult for a time but nothing has to be broken or stay broken.

You said: "We've not always financially been in the best spot, yet I've always had everything I needed given to me, with the only thing asked of me in return is my love and the promise to be a good person"

Not joining the delusion of religion means nothing in regards to your giving love or being a good person.

If you feel so stressed out, pick something that your family or religion values which you also value. Then spend some energy there. By making the world a better place in a way that your family recognizes you can accomplish a lot of things that will help you at this age. You can 1. Make the world better - yay! 2. Show your love to your parents and their community. 3. Meet people who can help broaden your circle to include secular people as well - hopefully without antagonizing your family.

Tf. Your bathroom must look like a crime scene.
Even if you sit down, if you don't pull it back it's going to go everywhere.
When you come back from the bathroom at the bar do all your friends point and giggle?

This is a very hopeful view of human interaction. My wife hasn't forgiven me for things I did while we were dating, they just don't come up anymore.

If you could forgive something like this in less than 24 hours, you wouldn't have that significant of a reaction to its loss. There are few things in my life that merit getting bent out of shape over, and none of them are currently possessions. 130 hours of life and memories are a lot to this guy, and I don't even have 100 hours on any game save I'm currently playing. I have a book I'm working on that I'd be upset if it got deleted, but I have that worked backed up in triplicate so if there is a problem it is mine.

You break something someone loves you gotta pay for it, one way or another. Frankly, you don't want a partner that lets you walk over them like this without any repercussions. That's unhealthy. Forgiveness is well and good, but you have to see that the other partner is genuine and their acts and behavior go a long way to demonstrating that. Actual forgiveness takes time. If you see genuine remorse, that time can be shorter, but to forgive another who's done nothing to change their behavior is foolish.

My wife sold my childhood and some rare games I was keeping in a locked box for that she had to find. I forgave her in a few weeks, 20+ years ago.

The trick is you want actual forgiveness, not claimed forgiveness. Saying I forgive you is easy to someone you don't interact with often. Its harder when it is someone who you interact with frequently. A bit of claimed forgiveness will fester, and make the relationship harder. You are seeking the words "I forgive you" but in my experience those will be thrown back in someone's face unless they actually mean it.

Oh noooo. The criminals contributing nothing to society and may have already killed in the past got killed for doing something illegal/attacking someone. What are we going to dooooo?

I don’t care if you die for attacking someone else, especially if they’re there to protect against the illegal activity you are doing.

I. Don’t. Cheat. I’m a Bisexual man married to the same woman for almost fifty years. The whole cheating thing is a vicious, ignorant, phobic stereotype. Bisexual people are no more likely to cheat than anyone else.

There's a saying "once a cheater always a cheater". In this case, I believe Sam, whether with Leo or someone else, was bound to be pulled away because obviously Sam has issues. Cheaters have issues. Those issues aren't an excuse to be a shit person. His lack of empathy, his cowardice to not break up before developing another relationship, that's not on you. Dump his ass and start your healing asap girl. Get with your friends and family if they're near you, whoever your support system is, now is the time to lean on them