Recent comments in /f/tifu

Icy_Pickle3021 t1_j9hn4bj wrote

Reply to TIFU by telling my mom the truth by Emergency_Bus_7989

My Mom is a Jehovahs Witness and would be quite forceful with it when we were younger (especially as school age kids). My Dad was Catholic and eventually put his foot down and basically gave her a choice of compromise for his kids to (how I have always seen it) live as "normal" a childhood we could. We started celebrating very select holidays...their compromise was just that they couldn't be celebrated on the actual holiday itself and would be called something different. (Example: Christmas was on Dec 23rd and called "present day" where we just got presents). One of these compromises was also that we not be forced to go to the hall or Bible study and would only go if we chose to but if we chose not then we still had to at least go for "memorial" each year. (Easter for those who don't know what it is) My mom would bribe us that if we were good and attentive at the hall for "memorial" we would get dairy queen ice cream afterward.

When I was 16 I didnt get dressed up and ready to go to "memorial" and my mom was so angry it turned into a screaming match and she was trying to force me to go (while making herself and my little sister late). My Dad told her "shes 16. She can decide for herself. If she doesnt want to go she doesnt have to. I told her "you can't bribe me with ice cream anymore." I watched my mom's heart shatter through her eyes at that moment, but i didn't back down and haven't since.

She eventually got over it. It took some time but she did. 20yrs later, she still tries to force her beliefs on me and when I'd disagree with her she would get angry and start screaming at me. It got to a point a couple years ago that I told her I will respect her beliefs but she is to respect mine, too, and that i will no longer talk religion with her and if she tries I will simply hang up the phone or if it's in person I will leave, and if she tries to recruit my son into it she won't be allowed around him without me, my ex husband(his dad), his dad's girlfriend, or my husband.

I don't know what Muslim beliefs are when it comes to things like this, but I would say to just reassure your Mom often how much you love and value her and your family. Make sure she knows. I hope things look up for you, but I don't see this as a FU. But again, I'm unaware of Muslim beliefs so I hope I'm right in thinking relationships can be salvaged here and agreeing to disagree in the future is possible.

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Lance4494 t1_j9hn2yr wrote

Reply to comment by SnoopThereItIs88 in TIFU as I presented my bf with his cheating partner on a silver platter by Certain_Syllabubb

Yeah, hard finding a group sometimes. Im very much a people person (and it drives my wife insane when i talk to random people in walmart) i had one group but it ended up stopping when schedules kept conflicting.

I started writing my own idea for a campaign centered around the idea of a guild, and a random table of posted quest on a guild board. Im currently trying to make 100 of these random quests that rotate 10 at a time. Simply roll a d100 10 times and you have your quests. Any overlap? Simple one less quest choice. Along with a seperate main questline for when the entire group is actually together.

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SnoopThereItIs88 t1_j9hmho2 wrote

Reply to comment by Lance4494 in TIFU as I presented my bf with his cheating partner on a silver platter by Certain_Syllabubb

Ugh. That's a hell of a corner you're in. I can imagine the stress you're under. I hope your wife gets better soon.

Do you have Discord or Tabletop? You can play virtual games with them, including DnD! Tabletop is free, with a lot of virtual versions of games. I have a monthly Jackbox date with a few out of state friends and it's so much fun just to chill for an hr or so. I don't even need pants.

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SweetCosmicPope t1_j9hlwsu wrote

Reply to TIFU by sleeping in my car instead of going to school. by Resident_Advance_116

Okay, so while not the exact situation, I had a similar situation to you when I was in my late teens/early 20s.

I was dating a girl who was a very high achiever. Constantly working hard for school, got into an excellent college, volunteered a lot, etc; Me...failure to launch. I went to college briefly, but I was having a hard time finding my place in the world. I wasn't sure about who I was and what I wanted to do, and I really didn't have things figured out for some time after that. A major stressor in our relationship was this quarterlife crisis (as they call it). I too couldn't bring myself to just say how I was feeling, how it was making me behave in regards to my future, how it caused me to start acting out by doing stupid shit with my friends instead of focusing on what I needed to and left me in the perpetually immature state for a while. Had I done so, maybe there would have been some better understanding between the two of us.

So, my advice to you is let him cool off a bit, then have a frank discussion. Tell him how you're feeling, how you feel out of control and depressed. If he's a good dude he'll understand, give you a shoulder to cry on, and be there to support you and help you get to where you need to be mentally. If he can't do that, then this is doomed anyway. Because it will never work out with somebody who can't be loving and supportive and give you a hand up when you need it.

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Lance4494 t1_j9hldaa wrote

Reply to comment by SnoopThereItIs88 in TIFU as I presented my bf with his cheating partner on a silver platter by Certain_Syllabubb

Would love to, most of them moved away. Would love to go to a dnd game at some point. Never have time. Would love to just go to a damn pool hall and shoot some billiards, someones always asking me to do something. And weve been stuck at her parents house for some damn reason living there for the last 4 and a half years.

Its starting to feel like prison

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SweetCosmicPope t1_j9hkc9p wrote

Reply to TIFU by telling my mom the truth by Emergency_Bus_7989

I don't see this as a FU. I too am somebody who came from a religious background, though not particularly strict, and fell away from religion at a young age. It sounds, from the way you tell it, like your mother is worried 1. about what your father will think, and 2. about your "soul."

I don't have much to say about if your family can't accept you for who you are and what you believe. The real truth is that if they don't, you're going to have to make some serious decisions at some point. But as far as your soul is concerned, I think things can be a lot more palatable to your family if you can show some appreciation for some of the social customs that go along with your religion and some of the good memories you've had. You mention having had a good childhood and good family. That's great! You can still celebrate Ramadan and Eid and any of the other Muslim holidays I'm not familiar with with your family, the same as I can celebrate Christmas or Easter or whatever. And you can have a lot of fun and still build plenty of memories just as a matter of tradition. That doesn't mean you have to stick with some of the more overbearing traditions that some Muslim sects have or actually have any beliefs.

I expect that once your mother (and possibly father) have the opportunity to digest this change, you'll be okay. I would expect to be harassed about finding God. Trust me, I've heard that one from the older folks in my family for 20 plus years.

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