No less than 30 seconds go by before I look down and out loud say to my dog "what the fuck just happened?"

I thought just the same: what the fuck did I just read

Theres no excuse for his actions. Im married and my wife has health issues as well (lots of them) we havent done anything in 4 years (yes its stressful as hell for me). Im a stay at home dad and havent seen any of my friends in 4 years. I havent cheated, he has no excuse. Dump his ass, throw his crap on the lawn, and spray paint cheating asshole across the front door!

I hope you find better!

That’s what my friend said. I just don’t want to come off as a creep to just walk up and say hi.

Looks like you'll be spending lots of time at that arts market you both like.

Not really a fuck up my guy just a hiccup getting back into the swing of things.

Maybe that is true, he may have ended up cheating when you were married with kids instesd. He is a cheater, you found out now, that is good. Everything else is pretty bad...

It isn't about competing with men, he is likely bisexual. He may still love you; he just also loves this man and doesn't know how to handle that.

That, however, is his problem, not yours. You have been wronged and deserve better. Your trust has been breached and communication has not been respected, what he did is not ok.

Confront him however you need. You can be angry, you can be hurt, you can be confused, any of that is valid; just get closure and make your choice accordingly afterwards.

Perhaps it is time your boyfirend attends therapy with you. It would be a gesture of inclusion at least. And yes this car incident was not a good thing missing a full week as well.

Like the rest have said non of this matters.. If he cheated he cheated

But and this might sound weird how sure are you they slept together?

Because sometimes men especially if they served together can be pretty "gay" on text etc but it's all a joke

But you did mention you've been having less sex so I'd say trust your self

Anyways it seems like he cheated so gtfo or better yet kick the mf out you deserve better so please if he really cheated don't give him another chance

I was an agnostic when I was a younger adult. And I was pretty vehemently opposed to a lot of Christianity.

I do believe in God, or perhaps just flows of energy in the universe that are too big for me to understand. I found a branch of Christianity that has values I agree with, and is not the classic, conservative Christianity. My church is welcoming to all (not just giving lip service) and even partners with other non-Christian religions in community service.

My point is, you may find something later in life that makes more sense to your values. I am sorry you are having a difficult time navigating this with your family. I hope you are true to your beliefs and don't allow this to guilt you too much. Your whole job as a human, after all, is to learn and grow and love. Religion is just a vessel some use to that purpose, God has bigger things to deal with than a few sips of booze or which book you read on Sunday. Anyone who pretends otherwise is presuming to know the unknowable.

Nice knowing you, spud

Don’t blame yourself for choices your BF made, he’s an adult and he is responsible for his actions. Do whatever you need to do to keep yourself safe.

I mean... would you rather be in a marriage to a man where the entire foundation was a lie? You're in your 30s. That's some 20s talk, when our brains are still growin lol. Better now than 10 years and 2 kids later, you walk in on him and the neighbor. He did you a favor.

Tbh this sounds kind of toxic, especially in the OPs case where it was an honest mistake, they felt incredibly bad about it, were honest and upfront about what happened, and are genuinely trying to fix things.

Maybe in your wife's case its a little harder to forgive right away seeing as its not exactly a spur of the moment action fueled by emotions. Its one thing to have the hurt/anger/frustration to last a while, but to not forgive them within like, 24 hours assuming you guys talked openly and dealt with the feelings involved? Seems messed up.

Right moves. Good person. Mistakes happen.

Well damn this right here! Just have fun with it

Or...have a really awesome 3-some. Turn lemons into lemonade right?

It's hard to feel bad about something I know won't be changing any time soon. What's the point? I'd just feel like shit the whole time with nothing happening, and that just doesn't sound appealing. Do I, objectively speaking, know and understand that this is all fucked up and whatnot? That I should just own up and accept my fate? Yes. Absolutely. But if I'm being honest. I'm not going to. Not yet. That time will come. I'll accept whatever karma or shit gets thrown my way. Not gonna complain about it. I'll deserve it. But until then. I'm just gonna ride this out and just let things be things. Is that fucked? Yes. But it is what it is at this point 🤷

Man I don't have autism and I'm still shocked as to why the hell people are downvoting all of the comments from ND people. Its not like any one of the ND comments is worded in an assholeish way or completely disregarding the bfs feelings or justifying the OPs behaviour. They are simply showing an understanding as to why the OP did what they did.

It's kinda depressing to see how many jokes about having autism are made on reddit, yet how utterly unempathetic or understanding the plurality of users seem to be.

You still love your parents, and you’re still a good person.

Best to you!

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I get trying to make OP feel better about leaving him, but this just isn't true. It may have happened before or it may not, but it's impossible for us to say. We know next to nothing about him.

All that matters here is that he is the type of person who would cheat on his partner, and it's better to learn that now than later.

I wouldn't say either of them are in the wrong. Been on both sides, and depression takes a lot of help to get through. At some point maybe bf has done everything he can think of and is at wits end? The answer is professional help in whatever form you can afford/handle. Just a good therapist to listen works wonders. For me the gym and therapy helped when I was a depressed alcoholic.

Only if he doesn't says nohomo.

you are blaming yourself when you should not.

Bi people exist. Also, what an incredibly tone-deaf comment.