I think you need to get tested and you need to just confront him about this. Or go to Leo first. You don’t need to waste your time on this. You don’t need to deal with the mental anguish of it all. Your current partner is clearly not trustworthy and keeping a secret about sleeping with someone else and that could have transmitted something to you.

Honestly call them out on it and pack your things

True. I use that time to clean the windows and check the oil.

You're not supposed to get back in your car here, but some people do.

I say that you should sit him and leo down and talk/confront them about it. You should 100% get tested for STDs or STIs since cheating always comes with that risk.

Yeah, I didn’t think it was for stoners that will forget what the hell they’re doing but it’s still a good rule to follow.

Sometimes especially in certain cultures, the latter has far far better outcomes. This kind of thing can turn into a person being completely disowned by their family and tossed on the street with absolutely nothing. I see a bit of that fear in OP's post. It's terrible but some cultures believe that strongly I suppose...

That's for static electricity, but it's still a good idea not to regardless.

Your BF doesn't sound like the greatest instead of giving you lectures he needs to be more understanding about what you're going through and read up on depression and how to help people that have it cope with it

You didn't FU. Get tested and speak to him.

It sucks... At least you know the man you are with. I am sorry but if someone can go over a month with sleeping with someone else while in a relationship... That says all I need to know about this man you are with. You choosing to stay... Now that will determine the man you are. One that is alright with this, Or one that will not be disrespected.

the only fuck up is your ex cheating on you. THat is all. I am sorry and hope you find love for you

It happens to truckers very frequently. Its just being fatigued and distracted.

Glad you stuck around!

So he’s gay?

I think their point wasn't about religion specifically so much as that a fiery rejection of whatever one has grown up with is common in young adulthood, and often for reasons we don't understand, but that this emotion may cool in time such that a more reasoned look back throughout life reveals either overlooked things worth appreciating ... or more solid reasons to continue rejecting whatever.

Neither outcome is weird.

Morning sex was good! Definitely better than the night before haha

If that was the take away from my message, then I feel i have miscommunicated. Please do not assume that I meant that OP should reconsider leaving or joining a religion based off of age, as that was absolutely not my intention.

I will summarize, don't make rash decisions, because decisions made at 18 are rarely decisions that last with us our entire lives. It is a very transformative time in our lives, and the knowledge of this is rarely communicated to the people going through it.

I hope that clears that up!

I don't think this is a FU. I think it's really brave of you to talk about it openly with her, even if it didn't go the way you would like. A lot of people never can. I myself have never had that conversation with my (Christian) mother. One's religious beliefs are a very personal thing and I hope that she and your family are able to see that. Best of luck to you.

Don't feel bad or inadequate. None of it was your fault.

Don't feel bad about yourself either, since he was cheating with another man it's possible he was craving something you had no way of giving him. (Not an excuse for cheating) my point is that you don't need to feel bad about yourself because he was wanted to be with a man, and that has nothing to do with you and is in no way your fault.

Do your best to compose yourself and confront him. Get your answers and decide what you want to do.

I feel like your overall message is fine, but this idea that people just "grow out of being an atheist/agnostic" doesn't sit right with me. Many people are atheist or agnostic and stay that way forever, they won't necessarily "turn back" to religion once they get older.

>Did he do it before? Was our entire relationship a lie?

I really don't think so, from what you've told here your boyfriend didn't mind doing things only with you, especially after his fight with his friends.

What I and my phony know-it-all-ism think it happened was that his friend came out during this time that they were apart and realized he had feelings towards your boyfriend back in their military days and he unfortunately did this.

Because if your boyfriend never gave the impression that they previously hooked up in the past, if he never felt visibly awkward when you joked about it or if he never kept on talking a lot about Leo, I presume there's no reason to think that something happened before between the two and no reason to think that your boyfriend "was secretly in love with him" all of this time...

Since you two have this intimacy of using each others phones, just be honest with him: tell him exactly what you told here about you trying to take a picture of your cat, that the message popped up and you couldn't help feeling uneasy... it is an extraordinary thing to happen to anyone and I think he'll understand why you read their conversation.

You sound like a cool person, I hope you can sort this thing out. I really can't imagine how you must be feeling and at the same time asking to yourself what in the world has happened... take care.

None of these was something you could have avoided. It would have happened anyway. Not because of you, but because cheaters are cheaters.

Go get tested!!!!

I wish I knew what that meant, but I’m old and out of touch.

OP, it definitely happened before with someone else.

In writing that post, I was very distraught because I hurt someone I loved. I believe I exposed a deep fear that combatted my logic. Logically, I knew I mattered more to him than that. However on the illogical reactive side, My reaction was out of fear of his anger response, and hanging up on me. This isn't something he regularly does. It was another shock.

(Would also note that I'm not afraid because of him. He isn't scary and never intends to be scary, but I do fear the emotion anger in general).

Tl;Dr my brain wasn't being logical and I was typing out of emotions, ignoring obvious truths such as the healthiness of our relationship

That is horrible! I am so sorry. And thank you! For now I just want to wrap myself in my fav blanket and get away from all this

I feel like if I hadn't brought this man in our life then all this wouldn't have happened. It may not be the logical thing but my brain is in chaos