I know a guy who put hand sanitiser on his but hole after wiping. He returns to us with this shit eating grin and goes don't every put hand sanitiser on the bum, my rosebuds going to be puckering all week.

God bless sea men 😜

it might be your diet if your shitting on yourself. its really not normal

We were all infants in diapers, once. But I haven’t shit myself since I was a child. I have fumbled the toilet paper on rare occasion, adjusting for a second pass. But it’s much more like “eek! The tissue touched me!” And not “aww man, shit all over my labia again??”

dear god, i’ve been desperate before but not that desperate😭 i just awkwardly use the cardboard roll to wipe so i can waddle over and get more toilet paper

You are the one losing your mind over nothing. Maybe you’re the one who didn’t take their meds this morning? Chillax.

You realize cotton pads are disposable, right

Why are you being downvoted? You’re right.

I once used NAIR on my balls. That was the worst pain, hands down, I have ever felt. It wasn’t until after I hurt myself that I read the instructions NOT to do that.

Once I was driving my roommate and her boyfriend home after getting hot wings. Suddenly she starts screaming bloody murder in the backseat, and I later found a glass of milk in the bathroom. Eww lol.

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So saying, “OP FU by using some random, used cotton pad on her intimate area that was left on the counter rather than having been thrown away” sounds better?

I’m not even going to address the lack of toilet paper, because whoever uses the last and fails to replace it needs to be cursed with the fleas of a thousand camels infesting their armpits.

I just looked at this place on google earth, and I’ve done a fair bit of kayaking.

This is a sketchy place for kayaking specifically. If there is a company renting kayaks there you won’t be the last person in this exact scenario. The channel you’re talking about is the bottom of a funnel created by the two islands, low pressure system to the south of those islands will draw all the water and air toward it. This basically turns these islands into a geographical kayak gun aimed at the South China Sea.

How is being attracted to people in their 20s creepy?

If this somehow happens again, or to someone reading, use coconut oil to stop the burning. Just rub some on the area. It will work much better than soap and water. It’s very soothing, and btw, makes great lube too ;)

It's like James Joyce wrote a Reddit post.

Also, when I browse "Only Hams," I'm looking for some of that sweet Iberico.

OP, if you have a job with medical insurance, and I very much hope you do, look into the mental health benefits. Talk therapy combined with medication could do wonders for you.

You're young. Start working on yourself now. Don't wait until you're in your late 20s or 30s. There is a whole life of possibilities and happiness out there waiting for you.

Peace.

I'm a woman but I have no fucking idea what she's going on about.

I'm pretty confident that I have never smeared faeces onto my own labia. Like you, I don't even understand how that would happen. That should be the kind of mistake you make only once 😐

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Get tested for STIs today, please. And stop financially supporting him if he's spending your money on OF.

Not to be harsh, but you’re overreacting a massive bit. I genuinely think you’re not mature enough yet for a relationship, and not because of looking through his phone but because of the absolute histrionics and self-victimization of this post.

An example: at the start you state that you’re disgusted that his search said teen and then say that you were 18 when you started dating and that he was “older”. You omit his age to try to manipulate people into thinking he’s a creep and the implication is that he may have chosen to date you for your youth only to reveal at the very last moment that he’s a mere 4 years older than you, as if a 22 year old dating an 18 year old is problematic the way a 30+ year old doing the same is.

Your whole post just oozes immaturity, and please understand, that’s ok! You’re 20 and a lot of people your age are. You have the opportunity here to really reflect on yourself, not just around your choices, but your responses in life as well. Please break up with him and take the time to learn how to strip the dramatics out of how you engage with the world and I promise you’ll find yourself in a much better place to enter a relationship healthily. Your current BF doesn’t deserve to be with someone who disrespects his boundaries or who is essentially staying with him for his car.

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and paragraph !

But do they lube those rods with tea tree oil?

Youre overthinking the shit out of everything and making a mountain out of an ant hill. Just talk to him