Also, her friends already know. I would've texted the gc as soon as you walked out the front door.

At least you got a handy out of it. That's something!

No guy that I've ever been with who's actually good in bed feels the need to talk themselves up before we do the deed. You mentioning all those positions you want to try was a dead give away that you don't know what you're doing. She probably just gave you a handy because she felt bad or didn't want to seem like she's leading you on.

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Oh honey... as a women about her age I'll tell you right now, she knows you're a virgin. Also, drop the "alpha" thing, it's super embarrassing and probably the reason you're still a virgin.

ETA: If she really wanted to have sex she wouldn't have written off those comments and stuck to the hj. And if she really liked you she probably would've at least given you a bj. Sounds like she was fucking with you or became disinterested. You can't salvage this.

> I saw a huge rope of cum erupted from my penis and splash me right in the face

Explain the circumstances that made this possible.

What alpha status? You never had it.

There's nothing to say. If you like her and want to continue with a relationship with her, call her and apologize for misleading her. Maybe she'll appreciate the honesty and you can build from there. Cut the lies, grow the fuck up, and stop trying to act "alpha". Just be your fucking true self.

My exact immediate thought. Thinking in terms of “alpha male” is probably why dude is still a virgin at 30.

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I thought it was a deleted scene from 40 year old virgin

👏

Oh lord Nothing turns me off more than “alpha male” expression.

You unironically use the word "alpha"

Still you "it's impossible she knows I'm a virgin"...

Trust me, she knows 😂

Yeah, kinda shot yourself in one foot trying to act big because it's a negative stigma to be a virgin, then shot the other foot by trying to salvage an "alpha" image, not to mention your face shot, which probably could have been salvaged with good humor if you hadn't tried to act more experienced than you are.

You could try to talk to her about it, which goes one of three ways, depending on her. Either you add fuel to the laughingstock fire, get ghosted or goes nowhere, or finally honesty might buy you some goodwill and as long as you don't keep trying the alpha nonsense, might even get another shot.

Yea. Judging by the tone of your posts, I’d guess you maybe bigged yourself up a bit prior to the event as well, which will not have helped.

Just mark it down as an L and move on. You will not find the comfort you seek on Reddit I’m afraid.

But if I take this post seriously, I'd say this: stop pretending to be alpha, that's not a thing. Try to worry less about your inexperience. She's going to tell her friends regardless because it's a hilarious story. But that's ok, sex can be very funny.

I would think everything would be all good except her saying that she was tired afterwards. That's likely a lack of interest.

All you can do is have a good sense of humor about it. Make some jokes. Either she's interested in you or not and what you say probably isn't going to change that much. But either way, some good jokes will make you look good.

she definitely does dude lmao

Don’t know what went wrong…it’s directly from page 2, “Andrew Tate’s how to get laid”

of course a virgin would use a term like „alpha“.

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From where the hell did you understand that she planned the facial thing?

I said she saw through your act, and proceeded to test her theory... It paid off big time...

She assumed because you tried too hard... simple

There's no way you're 30 and still using terms like "alpha"

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Timed your release. Just be honest with yourself and others you'll have a better time.

She saw right through your act and proceeded to make a fool out of you to see how far you'd go with the act.

Idk if you should follow up, she'll probably make even more fun of you, especially if you try to continue to pretend like a 5 years old...