I have a question: what exactly do you mean by “alpha” status? When two people have sex, they should treat each other as equals.

Edit: rereading the post, you started listing sex positions you wanted to do on the way back to her place? Jeez my guy. An invitation to “hang at my place” is a way of saying you’re down for more intimacy, but you went way overboard and probably freaked her out a bit. She probably didn’t want to have sex with you anymore and gave you a handjob because she was afraid of what might happen otherwise.

r/legaladvice

They are oriented with trying to help you. Especially mention that you have an audio recording

as a white person (which i'm assuming you are) it's common to emulate/repeat racial stereotypes. in brazil we had a case where a famous singer, while staying at a hotel, mistook another guest (who was a lawyer, if im not mistaken) for a cleaning lady. nothing indicated that she was one, she wasn't even wearing an uniform. but this singer saw that she was black and immediately assumed that she worked a low paid job. sadly, it's engraved on the minds of white people that people of color work minimum wage, and statistically, that is true, but it's still racist to assume that every single one of them does not have a successful career and that all of them are ready to serve you.

you were conditioned your whole life, unconsciously, to assume things of the sort. you can feel guilty, but use that as a motivation to learn more and be better. it takes learning, a lot of listening, and most times, experiences like the one you described. the fact that you recognized your mistake shows that you're on the right path.

You are not require to devulge every bit of your sexual history to a current partner. You were no longer in a sexual relatioship with these friends. You were honest when Sabrina asked about your history with these friends. Her getting a bit upset/uncomfortable is SOMEWHAT understandable but it also doesn't mean you did anything wrong or inappropriate.

What you did is called a lie of omission. You did fuck up. Not by remaining friends but by not telling someone you entered into a relationship with that you had sex with someone you currently lived with, and two people you spend time with on a regular basis. Don't do that again. You should remain friends with your ex-fuck buddies or ex-lovers or whatever term you use (not trying to be offensive). You'll need them. But next time you want to enter a long-term/serious relationship with someone you need to be honest. You need to let them know you used to fuck your friends, for a long time, so the new person can decide if they want to be in a relationship with so many strings attached.

How would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot? I don't think your girlfriend will take you back and I hope she doesn't. You hid something huge from her because you didn't think she would accept it. She will never forget this and will always wonder what else you're hiding or if you'll hide other important things in the future. That's a feeling you should pay attention to in the future. That was the clue that you were doing something you knew wasn't right. I'm not going to give you points for finally admitting to something she should have known about before the two of you got serious.

Try to work on feeling better, know what to do in the future. We all fuck up. Learning from it and being better in the future is the best thing you can do.

You fucked up, but not where you think. Lying (even by omission) to your new partner that you had sex with friends is the fuck up. Good relationships can't be based on lies, but many people can understand being friends with exes

Asking about was a mistake. Bringing up him finding bio-family is a whole other fuck-up.

I only think you fucked up by hiding it.

Many women are also still friends with people they’ve been intimate with in the past, so I don’t think it will be as hard as you think to find someone who is OK with it. Just be up front next time if you decide to keep those friends in your life.

[deleted]

This has to pointed out. Also hiding and nit telling until asked is completely different.

These are exactly my thoughts. People can move on from romantic/sexual relationships to platonic friendships and not every future partner will be threatened by that. I could understand severing the relationships with Jake and Lena if Sabrina was still in the picture, but don’t preemptively cut them off because you think a future hypothetical partner would have a problem with them. As long as you’re open from the start, you’ll learn who’d have an issue with it and who wouldn’t and you can decide then which relationships are more important to you if it comes to it. For now, your friends will be the ones most understanding of your current situation and able to help you heal. And for the future, be honest with your partner about your situation.

You can cancel the car warranty if you want to, but you need to call the warranty company right away to do it you should be able to get that money discounted from your loan. Seeing how you’re just gullible and you probably sign for every single add-on they have at the dealer you probably got a wheel and tire package seat, protection package, a paint, protection, package, monks, other things, but a couple of those you should be able to cancel out right through the dealer. Time is not your friend you need to go right away and call the warranty company and get that squared away and then go to the dealer and return what you can more than likely you can return the wheel and tire package I don’t know about the seat, protection package or the paint protection package but it’s worth a shot and don’t let them bully you into not doing it ‘. If you’re this bad with conflicts and financial stuff, please take somebody you can trust to guide you in the right direction.

All of this. It’s not (necessarily) controlling to have boundaries and to expect your partner to take steps to help you feel secure in a relationship. I try not to hang out behind closed doors with people I have history with, and I personally would certainly have major reservations about my partner being domiciled with someone they had a relationship with.

Credit unions will usually give you the best rate over most lending institutions. Usually.

African cuisine is pure shit

With a high cervix you'll need a long cup.
I know of a site (no, I'm not afeliated [sp?]) that has a quiz for determining the best type of cup for you. If you want it just DM me.

[deleted]

Nah man i don't think they even put into account the accent. I promptly refuse calls from people speaking my native language because i think they're call centers lol. You're good

Agree. Putting myself in Sabrina’s shoes, would feel and react the same way, especially since Op was still in touch with said friends so who’s to tell that they are still not doing it?

Sounds like a story for /r/personalfinance/. You can find similar situations and suggestions on what can be done there (check under flair auto).

While I was reading thought Sabrina would join the trio but since it’s a tifu post I remembered there won’t be a happy ending ( no pun intended)

I am Indian. When i get a call from someone with a heavily indian accent that i don't recognise. I think its a scammer, So i dont think ur racist for it. Unless you cussed them out, they'll most likely put it behind them.

As someone who has slept with a number of people who I am still friends with over 20 years since we last did anything sexual you are 100% right.

Once you have been that close to someone, unless it has dissolved into a dislike and you don't see each other again, there will always be little clues that you will give out in your body language and interactions.

I'm not talking about draping over each other but simple things like just brushing past through a gap without thought rather than asking someone to move a little or if they mind.

I agree, op shouldn’t push the friends away but find a partner who would understand but of course stop sleeping with them and just remain friends

All those who are saying you did the right thing by hiding it are sick tbh. You should have told her in the beginning bc these things definitely matter. And if you think it's hideous then maybe don't engage in it well that's upto your partner how comfortable they are with a partner who has been in a polygamous relationship. You literally fucked up but pushing away your friends is even worse. You should talk to them and sort it out