Ouch.

But, still, not really a fuck up. Most people will/would be concerned, although fear of not knowing what to say might make them avoid the topic.

Either way, talk to somebody about how you are feeling.

I'm going to be visiting somebody in the hospital today or tomorrow. Former neighbour.

Everything about the situation is brutal. Dude is 96, his wife died just before Christmas (she was in a nursing home with dementia). He and his daughter ended up homeless in October.

His daughter died last week. And he's in the hospital and not coming out. And, losing his daughter made him suicidal, so, psych ward. And, the rest of his family is in Greece.

My friend and I figured out where he is, and his last name - she went to see him yesterday, and we'll like both see him in the next day or so.

I've been suicidal before, and I have zero idea what to say to him, lol.

Anyway -can't leave him alone with all this.

Ahh

The Tears of a Clown

Hugs to you fellow Pagliacci

Dude that’s fucking weird

No one really understands what a burden being “the funny one” is. We aren’t funny because we want to me or because we’re “naturally talented”. It’s born out necessity and comes at a price we don’t talk about. It’s manageable until something like COVID happens and suddenly everyone is leaning on you. How are you supposed to tell the people who have depended on you on and off forever that their standard precedent needs a break? They can’t handle it. You can’t handle it. It’s just broken pieces of everyone everywhere.

I like being witty/funny, and I understand the cost, but damn if I don’t just want to curl up with a book or ten and hide from the world sometimes. There are times when Voldemort doesn’t seem to bad lol

Maybe it's time to pass on the alcohol and get a mountain bike.

People can be reeeelatively chill about depression, anxiety or ADHD, but the closer you get to what people think of as "crazy" the riskier it gets, even if completely managed - bipolar, schizophrenia etc. I think I would only disclose if I intended to get active in mental health advocacy within the company/industry, and not if I just wanted to do my job, or had ambitions above my current role... Because it will definitely make life harder. It sucks, but mental health discrimination is insidious and rife. 😞

I am definitely beginning to understand this.

Metaphors are dangerous.

Good thing they don’t keep a farm eh?

I’m going to the deepest hole in hell

Sharing my story... I've got issues and was upfront with my manager about some of it. Few years ago she and another coworker found out a few more. Honestly I only stay because how understanding my SM is, my assistant manager can suck an egg... few weeks ago I was running a High fever and the Monday after finally saying something the AM tried outdo8ng me by saying she ran a higher fever... my response was b.s. the SM is a second mom to me since I came clean about the issues though.

We are all human and have all stuck our foot in our mouths at some point.

I know I have lol

I appreciate that!! They did tell me it really was okay because I didn't know or anything, but to just try to refrain from saying things like that in the future. Which I absolutely will. It just sucks because that IS a kinda fucked up joke.. I think I've gotten too comfortable with dark humor.

Agh. I hate my mouth sometimes lol.

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We learn by our mistakes, I blurt out things without my brain fully thinking about what I’m saying.
You apologised so try not to let it make you feel awkward.

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That is so fucking cursed and you might wanna speak to a professional to help you forget all this

Give him "wanna try it for real??" (wink), see the look of shock on his face. For extra points, do it in front of your aunt. Then the old-school "..NOT!"

Porn is blocked in your country? Also ya, I would feel super uncomfortable even if he isn’t touching himself thinking of you….. Gramps apparently took to many showers with the boys, at-least he doesn’t have to go to war to see some action now, haha.

Hey man, sorry to hear that you're struggling with depression. I can relate, quite much. But, you stated a thing, that's quite impressive to me. You won a Hackaton! That's some serious goddamn praise to you and your team, you should savor it much more than you're doing! As a nerdy soul as I am (working in a different field now, but I spent many years studying computer engineering), that would have been AWESOME, if I had the chance to do it with a good team! I know this can sound too simple, but truly, try to savor more of the beautiful and good things your life is offering, and try to let aside the bad things. And as other said before, try to cut with the booze. I'm not one to say "stay forever sober": me too, I like some fine beer or wine, from time to time. But when things get out of control, you are risking to hurt yourself (you are doing self-harm unconsciously, try to focus on this and accept it, then you'll be able to change it). Hope you have better days! And damn, still congrats on your Hackaton! 🎉🎊

Rule #134: Never socialize with coworkers

As someone who lost a friend It really annoys me to see “god I wish I was that brave” used, as another friend told me the exact same thing. Its so frustrating but I get it. I only hope there are people to help you through your situation.

I’m 54 years old and have had life-long, treatment-resistant depression. Firstly, don’t sweat it. Really. What’s done is done and all you can do is move forward. Secondly, I have been completely unaware of the number of treatment options for depression that exist. I had long ago resigned to the idea that it will be with me for the rest of my life. Until a few months ago, that is. I have now lined up my treatments to begin over the next few weeks. Those are rTMS, ketamine and ketogenic lifestyle. Once I finish the treatments, or during, I will add meditation, weight training and cardio. What opened my eyes to what I was unaware of for so long are the following two podcasts:

https://youtu.be/Xu1FMCxoEFc

https://youtu.be/xjEFo3a1AnI

I am going to war on depression. Fuck depression.

You could try faking restless leg syndrome when in company with the family so that they might assume that’s what all the shaking is when you’re choking the chicken

Easy and garbage solution: Just go to work drunk, The shame will wash right off.

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