Don't ever get plastered with coworkers or anyone else you may not want to know about your personal life.

Mods are asleep, I see.

Work is work. You gotta face it at some point. Everyone makes mistakes, and yours (so far) hasn't taken out production. You might get the odd awkward conversation at the coffee machine but everyone will have forgotten it by next Monday. Unless someone asks you, don't brink it back up or overcomplicated things your friends say. Maybe take this to heart as a reason to limit your intake next time.

Oh come on, at least try to make it sound like it actually happened.

PLEASE HELP ME IM STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR STEP DOCTOR

NTA, your majestic mushroom, your rules.

Sending prayers🙏🙏🙏 happened to me last week to.

What is happening

This reads like an over the top horror movie.

On the flip side I've never owned a cat who has eaten a couch or everything in the refrigerator

This is corny, I'm amaized that you didn't tell her sooner

Time for a new crush, she has weaponized her faith against you. She went into your history without your permission, then judged you for something that should be private information. This is a major consent violation, and she will likely continue to do them so that she feels vindicated for whatever fucked up shit is going on in her head.

I hope you see that as the big red flag that it is. She is also probably homophobic since she judged your lesbian corn and didn't bother to clarify if it was the corn or the lesbian content. Just because she isn't vocal doesnt mean she isnt homophobic

Well, I'm sure the memories from the night with friends will last a lifetime, but let's hope the taste of cat urine fades away a bit quicker.

Bro... idk why you thought you needed to change porn to corn, but if you were worried then just type it like "p*rn" ... because this whole post looks dumb as hell now.

Definitely get rid of that worthless cat

Just add another reason I'll never have a cat and just stick to dogs. That's so fucked up

some studies indicate an uptick in schizophrenia and other mental disorders in people infected with t. gondii, but given that brain biopsies are the preferred diagnostic method, data is not easily gathered

Is the word porn banned or something? That hurt to read. Also who uses browser twitter on a phone? And why did she use your device and not hers? Something here doesn't add up

Are you “corn kid” by any chance?

This is corny.

Am I the only one who googled “what is corn Twitter?”

I am lost. And without corn. 🌽

OP is probably a contributor over at r/cornhub

Is lesbian corn used to make lesbian bread?

Its a sin to watch corn porn now? Gotta strike that off my list now

Did you ever tell her that you liked her because her look is kind of masculine? Because somehow I don't think that's a sentiment she'd approve of either.

Is she "bad" for making fun of your porn use? I mean it's kind of dickish, but I'm not sure what else you expected from uppity church folk.