Go down to the police station, tell them you're not missing, your grandparents just have a stick up their butt, then if your grandparents call the police can tell them to piss off.

I mean, it's stupid they didn't ask your mom, but in missing person cases it's actually important to contact the police ASAP. 8 hours is later than you'd want in a real situation.

That is straight up abuse. Post this in r/insaneparents

Hey thanks for your comment! An overdose doesn't have to be lethal neither I intended for it so sound like it was. I think a lot of people associate the word with drugs.

"An overdose is when you take more than the normal or recommended amount of something, often a drug"

I had already edited the post before your comment , explaining I might have not overdosed. Thanks for trying to make it constructive though.

Were you supposed to just know the time automatically?

I had to do this at 19. I was home from college for the summer, and my boyfriend was calling a lot. He was actually my fiance, but I hadn't told them that yet, because as soon as we got serious, they didn't like him.

So I was taking a phone call and trying to meet up (not allowed without parental permission) and my dad waits and decides to take my phone after the call, because I'm using it too much.

The important thing to note here is that the phone was mine. The phone plan was mine, and I was an adult.

Of course I threw a fit. It was the kind of fit that only a belligerent 19 year old who is raised by narcissistic parents can throw. There were some words said that I mildly regret, and I might have also lost control of my temper.

It ended with me telling my dad to give me back my phone, and him saying that I couldn't live there if I couldn't follow the rules.

So I called the bluff. Then I called my fiance. He came and picked me up. A week later I picked up my stuff. My parents tried to make this difficult by throwing in all my totes of childhood things.

I was VLC for another seven or eight years until they were invited to our wedding.

> that she unknowingly signed when she was 12

Minors can’t execute a power of attorney so this shouldn’t have been enforceable. Only their parent(s)/guardian(s) can execute it, and they generally expire after six months to a year. This sounds like they were trying to use a meaningless document to bluff.

they probably shouldn’t report me missing and force me home every time i do something they don’t like. i’m afraid it’ll be a boy-who-cried-wolf type of situation if im ever in legitimate danger and the police won’t care.

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i’ve done a lot of past research on emancipation, i have a good bit until i am 18 so i feel as though emancipation would be faster and it would also take away the $700/month or more child support they are receiving from wherever my father is. usually emancipation here takes just a few months since the courthouse isn’t very utilized. i just have to go to a judge, get myself a free attorney, and prove myself to be financially stable and independent of my family, with a legal way of earning money and the means to provide for all of my own necessities, a show of maturity/capability, and a $300 or so filing fee for the clerk.

I did read the post, I just don't see how doing the same thing her grandparents did solves any problems.

Edit: in my above comment I was referring to the authorities as the adults on her side, not her grandparents. Maybe that's where you got confused.

OP: look at it from the shoes of concerned family members. If you were in real danger?

Nah, this isn't it. OP appears to have care and love from her mother. The grandparents are overbearing, manipulative and abusing the system for control over the family.

Sure, maybe they care for her in their own twisted way, but OP absolutely does not need to erase how toxic they are just because other kids have been neglected or abandoned.

Until you turn eighteen, it sounds like they have the authority over you, not your mother. It sucks, no doubt about it. If you spend the night at your BF’s house again, be upfront with them about it. If they plan on weaponizing the Sheriff’s office, let that office know it. Call them before you spend the night and tell them what's up. That you are fine, and they'll call to try to force you home. It depends on the department if they will fetch you or not. If it's a high crime area, they'll probably just roll their eyes unless they think you're in danger.

If the grandparents are going to call around all your friends, let key people know ahead of time. All it takes is a few friends who know what's up to comment on social media if a post goes out that “OP is fine, her family is Extra. Ignore them.”

Omg yeah you’re so right, the following year I would volunteer for a congressional campaign and discover how much I despise street canvassing and fundraising calls. Worst “job” I ever had and didn’t even get paid for it (nor did the candidate even win). I’m now happily a wildlife biologist and never have to wear a suit again cause business casual is overdressed for my career. So, happy ending!

You’ll miss that when it’s gone and will understand when you become a parent.

It is a pain in the ass though. My sister STILL goes through it and she’s much older than you haha. Parents will be parents (no matter grand or great-grand, etc)

i did not go through the same things, but at 17 i would tell my parents "im going to mikes(or sarahs, or jarrets, or cassies, etc) ill be back in a day or two" and theyd just tell me to be safe and have fun. i think my experience is much closer to typical than what you described, and youre definitely not just being a moody teenager. try to go to college or trade school in a different city so your grandparents dont have the ability to exert so much control over you. try to save every penny you can now, so moving out will be easier later. if you are making $300/wk it should be theoretically possible to have a little spending cash, and have close to $10k by the time you graduate high school, which is more than enough to cover moving costs and first/last months rent, etc. best of luck

My parents would send us out to play after dinner, with a "be home by 7" type of warning, for every minute we were late, 2 minutes were deducted from our play time for the rest of the summer, if you were late 30 minutes, deduct one hour from play time the rest of the summer) We were not allowed to have a watch. (parents were German, and drunk, you will have no fun! Achtung!)

Based on your post, I agree with you.

It is probably why the cops took it so seriously.

You do seem quite independent, so hopefully you can get some sense talked into your grandparents.

How long till you turn 18? I have no idea how long the emancipation process can take, so I don't know if it'd be worth the effort to try if you'll just turn 18 beforehand.

Ahhh the one day I went over my friends house and my parents didnt pickup.

I did leave a voicemail, but I guess it was full or something.

Mom reported me missing around 8pm…my friends dad got the call I was missing and he said I was at his house.

My friends dad was the chief of police

She should start reporting them missing

nobody has mentioned it as i’ve seen besides you but yeah, being under 18 plays a lot into the serious tone the police took with this. unfortunately i’m a minor but i am, in most regards, an independent person, as far as even paying my grandparents for rent, electricity, and other bills while i live with them, buying all of my own things, paying fully for my car, etc. i haven’t mentioned it in any other comments here but i am also thinking about talking to my mom about emancipation. not sure if it would stop their harassment but it would at least make me an independent person legally.

Just make sure not to really go missing after the police get fed up with your grandparents!

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Yes, there’s no time limit. Time is the MOST important factor if someone is missing and the belief that you have to wait X days is very dangerous.

Theres a lot of messed up stuff with this situation (most notably the threat that it’ll continue past turning 18), but someone with parental authority over a minor who earnestly believes the minor to be missing should call the police, they should not be waiting.

(Whether the grandparents earnestly believed that in this situation is another question entirely)