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My one cat's name is Pip but I only call her Poop or Poopsie. She was really sick as a kitten with parasites and explosive diarrhea and even though she's been healthy for years, sometimes a tiny little turd randomly falls out of her butt while she's running.

“DUKE”.
As in Duke of Earl

Not really the best idea, but hardly offensive. I wouldn't be offended if someone said that to me, I'd just wonder why they though it was a good idea and think they were a little socially awkward, then move on with the convo.

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I can definitively say I like your daughter better. Screaming & heabutting FTW~

Your girlfriend needs better reflexes, lolol

Call him: Purrl Grey

Common

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Dogs can't fix you a sandwich when they're 3, bake brownies when they're 8, grill salmon when they're 12, or get together with their siblings to fix you a big pot of chicken noodle soup when you're sick.

Or, ya' know, care for you in a loving way before you die b/c they'll outlive you by being younger.

Kids have their own natures, but nurture makes it so that kids are what you make 'em. Seems you had to deal w/ crappy parents who didn't know how to turn coal into a diamond.

Download a soundboard of Jean-Luc Picard phrases to your phone and use that instead of saying his name yourself.

Our dog is named Molly. Her nicknames are: Git, No, Down, Molly-Mo-Molly, Queen Molly of her Holy Realm of All The Earth, and Dippitty-Doo and she answers to all of them

Our cat is named Bruce. His nicknames are: Batman, Batcat, Rat Bastard, His Royal Highness, Saint Bruce; and Saint Bruce Frankfurt the Third, Esquire. He answers to none of them. He does answer to cans opening, so maybe the problem is a language barrier…

I called mine a semen demon

Call him "The Earl" as if it's a title, rather than a name.

Or give him any number of ridiculous nicknames because our cats don't respond to their names anyway, lol.

This is why I prefer to eat Australians

Suck it up

It’s time to get your own apartment. You need to be able to control if and when you introduce your brother to a GF and you can’t do that when you share an apartment. BTW, after his answer it is clear that he’s going to fuck her so prepare yourself emotionally.

Accidents happen. What I will say is that if you managed to get actual silicone at Spencer's, I'd be shocked beyond words. Do yourself a favor, Google Hey Epiphora, and let her be your guide for future purchases.

In my experience most cats are called kitty or kitty cat. Problem solved…😝

Our cat we had back when my husband and I were newlyweds was officially Amidala, but we called her Ami, and eventually Amipunk cause she was a bit of a punk!! 😂😜😂

thats what all the ladies call me ;)

Honestly you couldn't have known.

If it's still bugging ya tomorrow, there's nothing wrong with ya going up to the coworker and just apologize for bringing it up. You felt like shit all day, and sure you couldn't have known but having lost a pet you know the hurt, and your sorry for his / her loss.

This is giving me Curb Your Enthusiasm situation vibes. There’s no way this is real.

Dawg that's the funniest name for a cat on the planet. Earl???? Incredible. I would be grinning like a buffoon every single time I called him that. I understand you don't like it and I'm sorry but that name fucking rules.

You experienced something called Dom drop. It’s when we as the Dom feel guilty or like we’ve wronged our sub because of the choices we have made. It’s a very normal feeling. You needed some aftercare in the form of reassurance. Communication about scenes and expectations can help this. You don’t do anything wrong at all.