It seems she just wants friends with benefits instead of anything serious

Sounds like he's answered your questions and what he wants isn't what you want.

You should act on the fact you don't just want to be a booty call/FWB

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This is exactly how it feels. It feels like losing a loved one as dramatic as that sounds the way I feel is so intense over such a small thing. And to have this happen several times a week is killing me

Oh sorry yeah haha that was a mistake, I meant my partner (24m)!!

I'm 99.99% sure this isn't related to being unfaithful, for what I know, and that we've been best friends for long enough that I know her inside out.

In terms of religion, she is religious and has issues with telling her parents because of it. That's perfectly understandable for not wanting to telling her parents, but that doesn't excuse telling our closest friends. (We share the same friend group, and have the same close friends)

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You're being used for sure.

Stop being accessible to him.

Tell him that you expect an emotional connection to go along with the physical interaction.

If he cannot sort himself out and deliver on actual dating. You're not interested in being his disposable fk buddy. You have a higher standard for yourself.

Yes its a red flag. Did she keep the rings from both as that would be another. As to your question about having that many engagements is she dropping hints or dud these guys just propose quickly for some reason?

You are the side chick, while he figure thing out.

A will can be done for less than a hundred bucks

I'd say my goodbyes to a four month old relationship and know that chances are that only four months in, your relationship is still in the 'shiny and new' phase and won't last forever, while your dream will bring you places, to people, and learning that in the grand scheme of things, will be a better 'payout'.

Op please do this. Not only is it savage as fuck, but you’ll be glad you did it 5 months from now

K you tried communicating and it didn’t work. Time to reconsider if this is what you want. Don’t think “if only (insert bad behavior) changed, I’d be happy…” In the dating game, you work with what you have in the moment. Could you be happy in a commitment with him assuming he stays exactly the same for the rest of your life? Depending on how you answer that question, you will know whether to stay or go

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I dunno really, I guess I'm just wondering if it's like normal that someone can get so angry at their partner over something like this

Accept it.

Crushes happen. It's not a terrible thing unless you act on it...wrongly? It's such a nice excitement to feel a connection, but we are human and sometimes it's not a good move to make.

Sometimes....it is a good move. That's the dilemma.

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That’s not really your concern though is it.

Well, my first two questions would be is there a chance she has another boyfriend and is there some religious element to this?

Beyond that it's just inexplicable to me.

Tell her that all of her reasons to keep your relationship a secret are for the consideration of others when YOU are the one in this relationship. She's considering the feelings of everyone else over yours, when after a year and a half I think its safe to say you should be a priority.

I would also ask her how long does she see this "secret" lasting? It's just not feasible.

If this were a fling, sure I could understand some secrecy. But if you have a full fledged relationship for this amount of time and assuming it's going strong then there should be no issues of trying to hide it any longer.

Why exactly don't you just get hearing aids?

It is not surprising that your wife gets mad at you if you don't do anything to fix this comparatively easily fixable problem.

So you’re lonely, and instead of continuing to look for friends you can connect with you want to talk to someone you openly acknowledge was emotionally abusive? That’s better? Sorry, ngl, that sounds like you’re rationalizing reasons to just start things up again. I mean you can talk to him if you want, but I can’t imagine that working out well for you in the long run. Most likely he’ll get emotionally abusive again, you’ll have to reheal and then you’ve wasted more time on him that you could have spent trying to find people you do connect with that aren’t abusive.