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Edit: I say after I learned because she didn’t seem concerned or worried or scared until after I found out and got mad. Now if she really was in all that kind of situation I am genuinely sorry and will always protect her but I can’t help but start looking at the red flags after today. The wedding is still on because up until today I felt the friendship was normal so I haven’t even had a chance to think about cancelling it. Now all the lines and dots are connecting and freaking me out

Yeah I don’t know if I’m quite there yet, but it’s definitely a thought for the future

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

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Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

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No, you shouldn’t break up. You should get therapy and work through this. Is your next girlfriend supposed to break up with you because you had sex with this girl? The logic is stupid and you need to figure out how to get over this. It’s not that serious.

No it’s very complicated let’s just agree that I made mistakes but am not evil

I was also someone who was too nice to everyone until I had enough so that’s why I’m trying to be patient and understanding. But it’s got to the point it’s not just affecting him but it’s affecting me. I know it’s something he needs to realize on his own but I don’t know how much more I can take

Nobody should throw anything at anybody’s head, especially something hard. Your dad trying to fix things now because you are an adult is a little too late. When you get into therapy you should try to set up a session with your dad so you can tell him how he fucked up while growing up. That will only happen once you are comfortable enough to actually tell your dad, but you should at some point. It will help him see how he made life for you and it will help you to let go and become a better person with or without a relationship with him.

Well I wasn't thinking of waiting more than a month or two

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

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• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

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I would recommend just telling him that you've realised you don't want to date him again and have decided to move on. And if he asks why, just say that you have moved on.

You don't have to say what you found, you don't have to say anything, he doesn't need a specific reason, because deciding to move on is a reason.

It didn't work, you don't want to try again. Done.

But if you don't tell him something, he's going to keep trying. I think it's kinder to both of you, to say something. Over message is fine, you don't need to call or anything, and you don't need to block or be unkind or whatever. You've decided to move on.

Can you buy premade meals or meal prep on days you feel good? Do you two use a dishwasher? Can you put your dog into training camp so they don't misbehave? I'm confused why there are that many chores. Are you two messy and don't pick up after yourselves?

But she's not helping him? And stealing from him? And neglecting him?

Can he move where you are instead of you going to him?

Just be very careful and make sure that you're taking proper legal protections. Marriages give you a lot of legal protections that you're going to have to create yourselves with an attorney. Is he amenable to that?

Where does he expect you guys to go through life with absolutely no legal ties to each other?

Maybe suggest a group text instead for the occasional question or update

She is a unique, whole person. You are a unique, whole person. Start from there.

Thank you. For real I came here for support and to get help knowing if this seems suspicious not to be told I’m insecure and immature and petty. This is not the first weird friendship incident we’ve had and we worked through everything hence the wedding plans. She never cheated on me but she had another male coworker at a previous job who was telling her to leave me and trying to force her into some things and she was afraid of him or so she said so I was stuck for almost a week sleeping in the car in the parking lot of her work for her to be safe after I learned what was happening between the two of them and got mad.

[removed]

What you are doing to your husband and family? Oh no! She’s Evil!

[removed]

In the future, you don't need to go through all this to leave someone. It sounds like you didn't trust him and had some decent reason. You don't need 100% concrete proof.

You did do well by leaving him once you found out.

This isn’t a kink. Stop calling it that. This is a mental illness and you should be talking to someone about this in therapy.

He is too nice to everybody except for you. He can't say no to his mom and dissappoint her but has no problem to dissappoint you. Everybody is more important than you. You can wait. Now tell me, is this man really nice? He hurts you and he knows it. He shows you clearly where his priorities are and you are on the bottom. In short: this man has no respect gor you. You deserve so much better.

Uh yeah this sounds bad. If you care about the current relationship, get into counseling and therapy and TELL YOUR COWORKER THAT YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP

or if you’re tired of your partner, set them free to find someone that will stay committed to them.