OP, get yourself checked for STDs, just to be safe. Maybe it was just all talk, maybe it wasn't but don't take that risk with your health.

I hope everything gets better for you soon.

I love that he’s kind and I wouldn’t want him to change who he is but I just want to be put first sometimes. It feels like my needs come last because he worries about everyone else. It’s not nice when your planning a weekend together and he leaves early because his mom misses him. I understand sometimes things come up but it’s every week, I don’t think it’s unfair to feel hurt that my feelings aren’t taken into consideration

It is your choice. Nobody can take it from you. Your girlfriend has very clearly stated that she isn’t comfortable with the state of affairs and that’s what you have to work with. It doesn’t matter if I don’t see a problem and the next commenter believes you have basically cheated. What is and is not appropriate in a relationship is purely down to the people involved - and in this case, the person involved aka your girlfriend has said, she isn’t fine with it. That means either drawing clear boundaries with your female best friend or making it clear to your gf that this is non-negotiable, which might well mean, she might leave. Drawing boundaries with your best friend will also effect that relationship, so again, this is your choice and nobody can make it for you. You need to figure out what you want.

I feel like there are too many missing details here for me to even have an opinion and if youre going on 9 years this seems kinda petty.

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Ok so you are worthless, and you want our help with a mess you not only made once, but twice? No thanks you trash and deserve what cokes your way.

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I'm really bad with remembering and naming names haha.

Right, that sounds logical. I didn't ask a lot about him yet, at the risk of sounding too inquisitive. Will ask this tonight

Here comes the typical saying but truth… it will get better as time goes by as long as you let it. If you tether yourself to this pain, it will hurt more as time goes but guess what? They moved on.

We're in our 20s and were together for over 2 years. We lived together.

If its not about my character I wouldnt be suffering alone.

Im sick and I need this sickness to end.

I believe cheaters can change but I don't think they can change for a partner who stays with them after cheating. And even if they did the trust will never be full and whole anyway. You did the right thing. Hopefully they betters themselves as a consequence of your correct decision to leave them.

I'm sorry this happened to you, it might take a while to get over and have an impact in your future relationships and ability to trust. Keep an eye on that and if you are struggling with trust even when there is no reason to reach out to a therapist for help.

Here we go again with the "OP is insecure" comments even though the partner has given reason for suspicion.

You did the right thing. Both for yourself and your family. Not to mention, she needed to find actual childcare before getting g pregnant again.

She was massively abusing your kindness and planning to extend that even further. It had to end.

Women can move on quicker than men. It's not about your character and depending on your age probably wasn't love in the way you would want.

Leave the country.

Yes he will hit you.

Many people who share posts like yours dont seem to realize this truth, so let me tell you:

Abusive people dont abuse people ALL the time.

If they did they would NEVER get anyone in their lives to abuse!

Imagine, he punches you on your first date, youd press charges, call the cops, whatever, right? That DOESNT happen though.

They win their future victims over, like he has done with you, until you feel like “youre in too deep/youre too much in love” whatever…and THEN, eventually, the abuse starts and please know he will blame YOU for it.

If this was a problem he owned and admitted to and wanted to change, simply put, he would be taking action to do so.

This relationship is not safe for you and you should create an exit plan to break up and get out/away as soon as you can.

Ex-nice person here. It will take time before he realizes that all this being nice to people is not going to translate into the same for him. People take advantage of you. People take your kindness for granted. Hell, some partners will take your kindness for weakness and lose respect for you. I was that guy. Until I had enough and I decided not to let myself be that guy anymore. Now, I am only kind to those who are kind to me. It sucks because I used to be happier when I was letting people run me over. But you realize that you haven’t learned how to have/manage healthy relationships. I hope your BF realizes this before it gets too late. May I suggest gifting him “No more Mr. Nice Guy”?. It’s a great book that really puts things into perspective.

Trust me. I know how this song goes.

Been there. Done that. Have the t-shirt.

There IS one thing.

Years from now, when you look back and realize you were a stand-up guy and

did the right thing....even if its for someone who didn't want it

or couldn't appreciate it. You won't believe how much easier it is to live with

yourself than if you hadn't. Best of Luck.

Already done it.

Nahhhh don’t worry about how you would sound writing in a journal. I keep mine hidden and don’t tell anyone around me about it. I do it in private and i write once every 2-3 days. Just updating what I’ve been up to, what I’m feeling, dreams or nightmares I’ve had (if i remember them) I don’t like to burden my partner or friends with negative thoughts I’ve had since I don’t want them to worry.

Lots of people journal. You can also do it in your notes app, you can just voice record it. Making a habit of it makes it easier

No your a bad person and have a weird way of justifying it

Yea, but I like this guy and he’s clearly interested in blowjobs since he all but flat out said the word lol. And I jokingly asked him if he wanted it and he said if he could he’d get on a plane and leave work

Because if she moved on so quick then maybe she never loved me. Maybe no one ever has. Or ever will. Im sick of it all.

You don't get to turn your attractive parts on and off like a flashlight. The kindness that drew you in is the same kindness you despise him showing others. It just doesn't work that way. Either learn to accept that this is part of why you chose him or pick someone who isn't as kind.

I get not liking, or even hating your girl's hair cut, but crying alone about it? How fucked up is the hair cut? Did she shave half her head off and painted the rest purple or something?