Glad to hear it! You got this, and take care of yourself and your heart!

I mean, you could try, but he was honest and told you how he felt.

So if it works “all of a sudden,” it’s probably just to pacify you.

I was in his shoes and my husband wanted the puppy. Like, 8wks old-puppy. I was pregnant, also. He convinced me that He’d walk the dog, play with her, take care of her since I’d be postpartum when she’d come home. I believed him bc we have a work dog and he can train the pup and walk them or play with them together. When we got her, I got up for the baby, and he got up for her. We didn’t sleep much for those initial few weeks, but we took it in stride; he did all the training and he got her kennel set up and did the hard parts, when we first got her.

It’s been 3 years. Let’s just say he feeds her when he feeds his work dog, but that’s it. Between OT and the way his shifts work out, he can’t really “play” with our work dog, so he’s just not out there at all. The rest falls on me. I’m the SAHP so I do what I can.

I’m not that resentful, but I think we make it work bc I’m the one that’s home, knows her commands, and the kids love her, etc, etc., but I can’t speak for your husband. This dog needs to know she’s loved and be loved. And we do every day.

If he means what he says and isn’t budging, please listen to him. Dogs behavior comes from how their humans treat them, so he is around a dog he doesn’t want or take care of, it affects the dog.

if you really want a dog and will not expect him, at all, to help or train or feed the dog, then that’s one thing. You’ll ultimately be responsible but even then- your husband would still have to live with the dog. don’t get a dog hoping he changes his mind, bc if it doesn’t and you’d have to chose between your husband and the dog, the dog still suffers.

Cheaters need to want to change. And if he's lying to you, he doesn't want to change.

He won’t trust me he’s happy and in love without a suspicion in his body

Time and distance mostly, one you start to actually get over them and others notice you hope begins to bloom again.

It kind of sucks that time is the only healer because i want these feelings to just vanish. Thank you for your response :)

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Does the service account for when tinder was used last?

For instance, I just checked, and I never deleted my profile from over 6 years ago, I just deleted the app. I've done so now, but just wanting to make sure you're not recommending an app to people that doesn't account for that.

Either way, if you're at a point of needing to check that, the relationship is already over, because trust is totally gone. If he's been lying to you for a long time now, then it's best to be gone as well.

TROLL

OP, your baggage related to previous partners cheating on you is NOT your fiancé’s baggage to pick up and carry.

I suggest some therapy so you can stop using being cheated on in the past as a reason to act immature and petty in the present.

It will only become more and more annoying as you get older and still behave this way.

Thank you :)

I appreciate the time you took to respond and I think you gave some really great advice that made me feel better! Thank you again and I hope you’re having a nice day/night

I mean, personally I think going to a strip club when you know your partner would be unhappy about it makes you look pretty stupid. So I think you might need clarification on the type of behaviour that he feels would make him look stupid.

But seriously, I think he's being a big manchild and not communicating what he actually wants. I would push him to communicate, like an adult, what he expects from the relationship. Otherwise, you're just going to end up having stupid arguments that go round in circles because you're not telling each other what you actually want and expect from the relationship.

wait how? I defo need to know this service, my partner has been acting weird

I don’t think this is the case for everyone or even most people - seems like this is specific to your situation (or maybe it has only been a couple years?) I very rarely think about my most devastating heartbreak anymore, and when I do I don’t feel sadness. Just don’t want OP to think they’ll necessarily never get over it bc that seems unlikely to me.

That’s the other thing I’m afraid of lol.

But, seriously at my age.. I should know what I’m doing and I don’t want him knowing that he’s one of the few especially since he’s very down for it

As nerdy as it sounds, I bought Hatsune Miku alarms for executive dysfunction as I struggle with taking care of myself, so I’m starting to take steps in the right direction I think. I have journaled before but I can never keep myself on top of it, mostly because I’m scared of sounding portentous in my own personal writing?? But I’ll try to pick it up again and see where it goes.

You can kindly point him to do some research! There’s a lot of great YouTube content out there for instance. Helena Nista is a sex therapist and her videos have helped me be a better lover.

That’s just one instance. There’s a lot of good information out there - he just needs to be open to it and be confident. When my girlfriend told me I didn’t take it as a slight on me, I took it motivation to please her better.

Hope this helps! Good luck and I hope it works out

Ironically my ex wife came out lesbian so I am an expert in this 🤣. The kids handled it really well but she also found one of the most amazing partners ever. So we have a good scenario but sometimes a bad partner can cause soooo many issues. And sadly the kids can get messed up. Seen in acquaintances i know.

Yes they have offered that in the home, it’s 1800 dollars extra a month which is included in the price of the facility, but that service still doesn’t offer help with med taking, I’m looking into memory care services and then they’ll help him. Sister is the only one “care-giver” just now realizing she isn’t doing it. We are working with the VA but it will take at least 3 months and they’re going to pay about half of the home care cost. He is going to doctors for all the visits he needs. she just misses his appts all the time because she won’t take him most of the time. I think I need to move back :(

Like why did you pick the name Jyke..

Anyway, I think you should meet him and see what their dynamic is like. Its really hard to give a definite answer without knowing any information about them. Also how long did it take them after meeting to decide to be just friends?

Not yet. But we're planning to in a few months (probably get engaged too). We're good otherwise. Nothing else has changed (or at least that's what I know).

How do you link the suicide message Reddit does?

So you been cheating in him off and on for 8 years ? Ya you suck

I know how you feel , Been there done that. Block them on all social media , block all your common friends so you won’t see anything . Try to find a new hobby and focus on yourself ! Time heal . Take small step and one day at a time ! You got this op !!!

He is just a friend OP............Come on now man.