Dude, this might be tough to hear right now, but if you hang in there for a little bit it WILL get better, and you WILL find someone else who loves you. Just give it time. Go do something to take your mind off of it, like spend time with friends. Try not to be alone too much while you’re feeling like this. That’s all I can tell you. I’m sorry you’re hurt.

I think you sound needy and insecure. If your fiancee is into this guy and wants to cheat with him, there is nothing you can do. So you have to have a certain level of trust that she handles her work relationships in appropriate ways.

Has she ever given you reason to suspect she would be unfaithful? Is she usually clear and open about her relationships or friendships with other people, people that probably include men?

Even if the guy has an ulterior motive for lunch, or for asking for a playlist then you have to trust her to handle it. Just because HE is being 'inappropriate' doesn't mean she will be.

The other things, I really think you are overreacting.

[removed]

[removed]

TBH, OP, you don't really sound ready to be married. Maybe get into some talk therapy to cleanse your present of your past (since you mentioned having been cheated on twice just in this brief question). It's never fair to drag your history into a current relationship. But that said, don't marry someone you distrust this much. She may be entirely innocent and you may be out of your mind, who knows. You just can't blindly tie the knot here when you've got all this unresolved angst from the past AND you also think your betrothed might be cheating on you. Good luck.

Thank you, I’ve been doing what I can without professional help but it’s not much. And I don’t think it’s harsh, it’s what I do need to hear though.

Trust your gut.. what does it tell you.

Are there any other signs like secrecy on her phone etc

Wow ok so u are “angry” at a randomer online what? Get a life. And no he won’t find out because I’m trying to stay on top of it e.g. this post

We’ve all been there. What you’re experiencing has been felt by billions of people before you and will be felt by billions after you (unless we kill the planet). Biggest gap between my relationships was 3 years, had a few dalliances, but I pretty much accepted id be single forever. At the age of 33 I found my perfect woman, and I was a better person from the past relationship experience.

Right! Probably got tired of being asked.why he was online and not responding to texts so he hid his online status. Very nefarious indeed!

[deleted]

That's completely fair and totally fine. Just be careful in this area. Dating is so tricky with kids so just be super aware. And I had partners who just weren't that patient sadly and it's like look I want to fall in love and find my person but not sacrificing my kids mental health ya know?

[removed]

[removed]

Toughen the fuck up. Take some martial arts classes, get a good male role model, get off the internet, go outside, I don't honestly have the answers but you have to do something because you can't stay this .... Sorry to say it but pathetic. The women in your life will sniff it out and steer clear, it's not attractive, at all.

Set aside your embarrassment and be honest, I’d say. I doubt any guy would be uncomfortable for that fact alone. And if they do, well, bullet dodged! Like others have suggested, you can always look it up online, try your best, and have fun with it (which is the point anyway). Plus, after you get the first blowjob over with you won’t have the inexperienced label anymore. I actually looked it up briefly online myself, told my now long-term boyfriend I was incredibly inexperienced, and then when i actually did it I was told it was great lol. So you never know!

But if it’s not something you’re comfortable with, don’t force it of course.

Best of luck!

You masturbate to GUMBALL

A. SHOW. ABOUT. KIDS.

Im so sorry that happened to you. You deserved better than what you were given and it’s absolutely no excuse on your fathers end to have acted in that way.

Now that you are an adult though, there is nothing your father can do going forward to remedy the damage done. That is going to be your responsibility. I know this as I also had an abusive father and I still maintain communication with him.

Go to therapy, put in the leg work, write about it, and learn to accept what’s happened. It sounds harsh but that is the best thing you can do for yourself. You need to allow the hurt child that lives in you to rest. After that, if you can and feel comfortable initiating a conversation about it, go for it.

Have you talked about kids? Married or not kids cost money in divorce. And if you live in a common law state then it will cost just as much to divorce as split.

Have you ever worked with a therapist to put things into perspective? It could help you to learn to dismiss thoughts about things that don't affect you and aren't helpful to you.

Truth hurts? I’m really hoping this is a troll post at this point. If not, you really need to take a long look at who you are as a person and as a partner.

Based on the text of this post, nobody is going to know if he’s cheating or not. You don’t know enough so we don’t know enough.

What seems to be clear based off of the text of your post though, is that you don’t seem to mesh well. It seems like his behavior isn’t ideal for your needs. Maybe try communicating with him to try to establish a healthier dynamic. If that doesn’t work. Reconsider if this is what you want.

Cheating is far from the only viable reason for a breakup

[removed]

They moved on, you should too. You are alone because you cannot come to grips with the relationship being over. Its time to let go and move forward dude.

[removed]