Watch porn and see how it's done. It's an individual thing. You just have to find out what he likes. Practice makes perfect, I guess

I’m im not exactly sub, I just like to call her that while we’re cuddling and sometimes in bed.

Does he know yet, and what did he say? Also good for you and have a wonderful life and enjoy yourself!!

I would drop everything and go back home if I were in your shoes. Your sister should not be in charge of anything for him.

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What the actual f…?

Jesus man that's rough honestly hard to live that down. They just got a GRAPHIC insight into their daughters kinky life and it is way way too personal.

I would never be able to look them in the eye again. I don't know what to say I just feel terrible for you that's just so awkward and shitty :/

I mean look idk maybe I'm overreacting but ah idk listen to your GF.

Please 😭😭😂

You tell him to stop or you’re breaking up with him. Then, if he doesn’t stop, break up with him. Explain that you won’t date someone that invades your privacy like that. Picking locks like that is honestly probably worse than just going through your phone. This is in serious crazy territory. Don’t allow him to do this any longer.

Get a hold of adult protective services in your state/province. You'll probably get help there to be able to file a police report on your sister.

Personally I think he is a lost case.

When you have made your points/ expectations clear and he continues to break them it is time to start preparing to leave.

He is clearly very controlling and in addition sounds like he is gaslighting you as well. His behavior is unacceptable.

If you want, give him a last chance, start searching for a new place to stay - and when he fails - you leave.

That is if you do not leave now - he sounds like a lot of red flags.

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Bro you do you. If you and she are into it, have at it.

You're the sub here, right? Trust your domme. She told you it's all right. Let it be all right. Your submissive/domme kink is not fucked up, plenty of guys have a subby side. Yeah she told you to go to the room. She probably talked to her family about it. And probably asserted herself to basically leave it alone.

You're gonna have to face it go talk to your girlfriend and ask advice on how best to, since it is her family.

Weird and kinda creepy and no way would I do that!

Shut your mouth and don't bring it up again in front of anyone else.

Do not try talking about it and if someone says anything than just say I was joking and leave it at that.

She doesn't say the videos were with multiple people anywhere. She says they were all made about 1,5 years ago. And yes it could still happen to me. I could think, o I'll delete those tomorrow or the thought that I had put other videos in that folder may never even strike me even though it should, I'm a real scatterbrain, maybe op is too.

Thank you for sharing your story! I just have one question - you said your reason for not labeling the relationship right away is because you “enjoyed being single and didn’t see yourself settling with anyone”.

Weren’t you technically not single if you were exclusive? And you were settling down with her, even though it was verbally unsaid? I’m just having a hard time understanding that piece. Thanks so much!

>I just can’t help to feel like the nice guy, the guy girls settle with after being with a-holes.

Why is this phrased like a negative thing?

>I kind of wish I had had sex before her or something in order for me not to be jealous or frustrated.

Your jealousy isn't an experience issue, it's just a personality problem. You will run into this problem in future relationships no matter how many women you sleep with unless you figure out the core issue of what's got you feeling this way.

>it’s hard to love her with all these feelings and thoughts in my head.

Again, it's not difficult for you to love her. If that were the case you wouldn't be so confused on what to do, you'd just leave. It's not her, it's you. And because of that you'll feel the same way about anyone else. Break up, don't break up, either way you need to look inwards and get yourself figured out. Ask yourself whether that would be easier with a partner (care, compassion, comfort, someone to talk about your issues with) or on your own (peace, the ability to start fresh while you work on yourself). What do you need right now.

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Okay, so firstly, you're completely in the right here and he's being a total douche canoe.

That said, you ask him if you do that stuff to him but have you straight up told him to stop? And if he doesnt stop, what are you willing to do? Bc boundaries arent "do/dont do that thing" , they're "this person violated a clearly communicated boundary, therefore they dont get access to me".

For some tips and tricks on boundary formation, i recommend this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/comments/3davsm/tip_setting_boundaries/

Honestly if it were me, I'd break up with him. I cant imagine being treated this way, nor treating someone else this way. And trust, its not that he doesnt understand, its that he doesnt care about your discomfort. He simply does not respect you.

It's called surrogacy you really are wording it oddly tho, there's a chance the surrogate might not want you around when she is pregnant so you may not be able to see her with your baby or you can just look around till you find someone who's ok with that.

Defo think about how this will impact your kids life though, especially imagining you get a little girl no doubt you will be a good father but she will need some female influence somewhere, is there anyone close to you who can provide that? A female friend, sister, cousin, or even your mother?

Lastly, make sure you're ready, midnight wake up screams, early days feeding (obviously you can't breastfeed), sick days, and make sure you get in time to properly bond with your child!

Maybe don't give up hope on having a partner, raising children alone is hard, if i may ask, is there a reason you feel nobody would ever like you that way?

The only thing left to do is own it by doubling down and referring to her only as "mommy" in front of them. Bonus points if you ask her for milkies in ear shot of her parents.

In the US this is illegal in many (if not most) places. This is sexual assault. I hope that’s a dealbreaker for you, but that’s really your decision. I hope you pursue some legal recourse because he could do this to someone else.

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Do you think forgiving this person will help you move forward?

Forgiveness should always be given when you're ready, but there's no need to rush there.