Just reading that killed me inside. Thank you for taking the time to help me realise how pointless this is.

Rule 3

I totally get that. That's why I think you should place particular emphasis on making him comfortable with the process, as opposed to one position or whatever. Helping him communicate about sex in GENERAL will really pay off in the long run.

I would say if you can see yourself working things out with your current partner in the long run, talk to them. Tell them that you aren’t happy in your relationship and you have a coworker who has been making you feel these things. You would rather maintain and fix your current relationship than feed the coworker relationship. See what your partner says and go from there. If you can’t see yourself working things out with your current relationship, it might be kinder to end things with them and move on. Cheating can ruin someone and you’ve already gotten through the emotional side of it. Now you have to decide which person you want for your future and talk to that person and see if they want you as well knowing the full story. Good luck 💛

I find it very hard to support your "relationship". You seem to be a glutton for punishment. Why stay with a woman who has cheated on you throughout your entire relationship and tried passing off her multiple AP's children as yours? You have a one-sided love with a serial cheater and liar. No one who truly loves you would do this, much less over and over again. You deserve much better and it's not with this woman.

That’s Weird. I text all the time with my MIL but we have a close and friendly relationship. It developed naturally

I’d just ignore his request unless he brings it up to you directly.

A commitment ceremony is something we are both open to doing at some point. This is a new concept to me but I think it would still be a really great way to celebrate our love.
What to do in cases of medical emergencies and what not is a great point as well and one we've discussed. We are planning to also at some point document what each of us what done in the case of a medical emergency or someone passing. We acknowledge that is important to plan for if we won't legally be tied to one another.

We always see each other this is fresh she bearly left yesterday.. as soon as I told her that I did not want to be with some one who didn’t want to be with me and she left to her mom she reached out almost midnight asking me how I was doing and trying to initiate conversation but idk if I should act like a cold heart and keep it dry and simple ?

This is 100% fake.

There was a post on here recently from the perspective of the youngest kid, the story was exactly the same as this until the fight, mom says "how dyou know any of them are yours". In that story the parents made up and forgave each other (there was a lot more drama) but there were some comments saying maybe dad should get a paternity test on the other kids to be sure.

This seems like a red piller's little alternate fiction, especially with the height and dick size comment at the end.

It's not healthy to love a romantic partner unconditionally. There should be conditions, for example, respect, honesty, fidelity, emotional intimacy; without these things a relationship is an exercise in thankless sacrifice. That's not love, it's punishment. Figure out why you're so eager to sign up for being treated like shit.

This sounds like a made up twist off of a top post from best reddit updates post today. Nice try, but I'm not buying into it

She has been trying to reach out and talk to you, why are you rejecting her if you want to make this work?

Yes, the two of you have had a serious breakdown. Have you discussed therapy or counseling? You may need to go by yourself to work on some of your anxiety issues. Those can make it hard for you to connect. This is important for you no matter what your wife decides.

This can’t have been only 1 week of problems.

Look, I have female friends that treat me this way, and my wife is super chill with it because my wife has guy friends like this and I’m super chill with that.

But.

If she’s not chill, it’s time to make hard choices.

It's creepy, boundary crossing and invasive.

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I’m absolutely losing my mind at how you phrased this 💀

Thank you so much for your reply.

I want my husband to be the guy I come to so desperately, but he flat out refuses to work on his communication skills. When I come to him with my feelings (maybe once a week with something I'd like to discuss) if he doesn't understand them he gaslights me. I don't think this is intentional but is due to his upbringing. When I told him that I don't feel comfortable coming to him with my feelings anymore because of his past responses, he shut down and basically said I'm making problems. I had put distance between our friend and I for about a month but after we saw him last we started talking every day again.

What do you think I should do if he continues to not want to work on his receptiveness and communication? I can't force him to do it, and I really don't want to leave him. I love him to pieces and this is really the only area we have issues, but unfortunately it's an important area. At this point I'm starting to think he wants me to feel this way about his friend. Like you said, he's getting the perks without the work. I think he genuinely doesn't understand feelings and is scared of them, especially his own. Maybe that's why he's so okay with this, because he's shut his feelings off in that sense. I feel he loves me a lot, and I love him a lot too.

That's the whole point . you shouldn't be crossing the line while she's your teacher.

The fact that she would do it and allow it , means her professional license is on the line.

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It is a good sign she has reached out to you. Suggest an in person meeting , lunch including the child. If all goes well, suggest a meet just the 2 of you to talk, just coffee. See where it goes. Baby steps.

nip that right in the ass now. from experience and observance i think you are very justified in how and what you are feeling. boundaries if any have been and are being crossed if not full blown already. i dont trust the explanation of that work relationship ...the truth there ..man... its unacceptable

It is indeed odd. Decline politely.

And depending what state they are in, he could still end up paying child support for the children that aren’t his just because they were married at the time of their birth. Even if DNA proves the kid isn’t his. This has happened to friends and family of mine.

I never understand why people cheat just breakup with your partner sounds like they wasted 8years with someone who is willingly to throw it away for lust feeling.

The costs that go into weddings has been a piece of discussion we have had as well. I do agree that weddings are overly expensive.
A legal marriage is not something he wants but we've talked about this a few times now and he can see that this is hard for me and in turn is hard for him because he ultimately does want to make me happy. So he did say that as a compromise, he is willing to have a commitment ceremony. Not a wedding and we would not be husband and wife after but a ceremony where we could recite vows, celebrate our love and share the event with some of our loved ones. The fine details of this haven't been discussed (how this would be initiated, where, how many people invited, what would go into the ceremony, etc) but I am happy that he wants to do something to kind of meet me in the middle.
I like the idea of possibly still having rings. We haven't thought of that but I will bring that up.