Therapy therapy therapy…ensures you don’t make the same mistake twice

First you need to select a starting point. What skill do you want him to learn or gain tonight? That's a choice that only you can make. Maybe you decide tonight is the night where I teach him to put his hands on my neck. Maybe you decide you want to make tonight about talking dirty to one another. Maybe you decide that you want to show you riding him in cowgirl or reverse cowgirl.

Pick one thing, tell him "this is what I want tonight". Ask him if he is comfortable trying that thing. Then in as hands on manner as is possible lead him. If you want to teach him about how much grip strength to put onto your neck, then show it by gripping his arm. If you want to teach a new position, lie down or assume the position for him and tell him to copy you. Give him the hand signals run down of what you'll do when you want to stop, ask what signal he wants to signal to stop. Have a dialog written up where you two act out a scene together. There are so many different ways to aid him in learning how to handle you.

The key is to be patient and understanding. He's new to this, and DEFINITELY new to talking about this out loud with another human being. A sense of humor and a lot of reassurance will go a long way. Frame your requests as, well, requests, clearly explained, and not as a critique. It may feel weird to be so matter-of-fact about something that we often want to feel spontaneous, but until he knows what you like (and what he himself likes), it's the only way.

Make sure you ask a lot of questions about what he wants, as well. Don't scoff or put down "vanilla" stuff if he mentions it. Ask him how he feels about stuff, and when you DO try new things that you like, make sure you tell him, give him positive feedback.

Honestly, it sounds like you have a very loving and healthy approach here, so I doubt you're going to laugh at him or something, but making him feel comfortable talking about it all, and making him feel listened to, will really help.

ETA: I realized this is all very focused on making him comfortable, and not advocating for what you want in the bedroom. There's nothing wrong with you wanting more variety in your sex life. I just think that this way will be better for ensuring that it's a fun and intimate experience for you both, and that he'll gain confidence and comfort with you along the way, which will help make it all more organic.

Haha .. I totally get your point ..

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Are you for real lady?? Wow

The truth always comes out and I hope it does soon, so he can see what a BIG POS he's dealing with...

Wow...just fu*king wow

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In the age of 23 and Me, this was always going to come out eventually. The best thing you can do is tell him now, so you can express remorse and give him enough respect to make an informed decision on your marriage. If he finds out any other way, he will leave for sure.

I'm glad! If you are worried she may not be receptive, you can phrase it as getting more tools to help your relationship and each other as you are both going through a stressful time.

If you can't afford it, read up on how to request changes in a relationship. A good statement to use when she is in a good mood is this: "I want to talk about what happened the other day. I understand that you were upset that there were shards on the carpet, and I feel horrible for that. I will be more careful next time. However, I also felt sad and scared when you didn't respond to me out of your anger. I would like us both to still be there and present with each other even when we are angry. It is called stonewalling. Can we read about it and talk ideas on how we can do that?"

I would say it is her responsibility to consider as she knows possible consequences

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Please no the first time was when I was at the start of our relationship and weren’t even properly together. I just got pregnant and he thought our son was his and that happened. Now the time that my daughter was conceived I was with a person I loved in the past a lot but couldn’t be with so it was a long time coming really

Not sure about that one. It's definitely fraud.

That's not a good solution. You guys need to go to marriage counseling and learn how to communicate with one another.

The silent treatment or stonewalling is a very serious form of emotional abuse, and you shouldn't tolerate it. She's basically punishing you like a child for something you did (by withdrawing her attention and affection), instead of talking about the issue like an adult.

You’re fucken trash

Ooh you're right there... I did try to talk but didn't really try to ask! ...so here's a stupid question... what do I ask him? 😅

Daily blowjobs

Just having trouble leting it go.. i know I’m strong enough to overcome whatever this is.. But my brain keeps going back to the pain i felt.. I need to forgive this person to move forward.. i need to let it go..but I can’t

Yes it seems you feel quite lonely but can’t you make new friends like after the birth of your baby join a support group for mothers if there’s one available where you live.

Having a happy mother is also important for a child. If you’re having a breakdown or are depressed because you don’t have a fulfilled life will this be better than having divorced parents?

Wow. I couldn't imagine choosing to stay with a woman who could lie and hurt you to such a devastating degree. All the best to you.