Kinda seems like emotional cheating.. sounds like it’s time to set some boundaries and figure out if his feelings towards her are platonic or romantic

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This is just a whole ball of fucked up. I'm going to reply assuming you're not a troll posting the plot of a Jerry Springer episode or something.

Get yourself out of there.

A 35 year old should not be interested in dating a 25 year old.

You should not be so dependent on someone who has mistreated you like that.

Find someone else to stay with and then block all contact with her.

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I know you are right it’s just so hard.

3 and 3, op, heading to his house at the end of a night together at the club.

Come on...

He could change in the way you want. He could also go to law school. Or decide to move to France. Do you want to make decisions based on the possibility of things that seem to have no realistic chance of happening? If you stay with him for five years and this hasn't changed, will you be glad you waited around just to see if it would?

I agree that came off as selfish. It was more the drama it would cause both of us. & the complications it would leave them living wise.

It doesn't bother me that he finds other women attractive. It's that he very clearly was staring at another woman rather than paying attention to me or his children who were sitting right next to him.

Leave him then, don't hurt him. My ex did that to me and now I never want to see her again.

But I'm not a therapist so what works for me may not work for you but it's worth a try and if you message me on here i can kinda talk you through it if you need more help :).

I guess I was looking to see if I was alone in these feelings or not. If I should talk to my partner & try & fix it. Or if I should break up with them & leave them in the dark to spare feelings.

Why should he accept that? In the end, it is his decision. If it means a lot to him, why shouldn't she want to refrain from doing that for him??

I’m sorry that happened to you but once a cheater always a cheater isn’t applicable to everyone. There are tons of people out there who fucked up once and never did it again

TLDR, 10+ year age gap = highly unlikely to ever lead to anything serious.

Turn the page and find someone of your generation

Maybe seek therapy but honestly it's a hard feeling to get over. Next time you feel it coming on repeat in your head he loves me he just wants to play with his friends he obviously can't always be talking to or always be around me. Take deep breaths when you do it. I promise this helps i had to do this as well and it did eventually work.

I’ve been looking into it, thank you for your advice.

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To be fair, I talk to many coworkers and send stuff to them over text/DM/ etc. I haven’t crossed a line in talking about personal life things over text. I honestly would be okay if my partner saw these texts as they do the same with their coworkers and classmates.

The feelings yes, not okay.

I tried but i believe in second chances because we’re all human and no one’s perfect and people can change. And i tried therapy to help me get over my resentment but obviously I’m not completely healed yet

I'd say just apologize to each other, have a discussion over what happened and what to do next time, and move on.

As for the "do whatever you want", try to say something else like, "would you feel happy if you did it?" Or "I'm glad you value my opinion. Personally I would". If you say something like "you should do what you want", it could be taken as a tad dismissive. She cares about your opinions, so she is asking you. If you put it back on her, that may make her feel like she can't engage with you as much.

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

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• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

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Yeah, actually agree. Perhaps they can do the mature thing, communicate and work out a compromise.

I could get on board with living in a rural area where we would have access to hunting and fishing. Id absolutely be onboard with buying a lake house in a developed area. What I’m not onboard with is this fantasy where his theoretical future wife lays by the lake all day while he hunts and fishes for food like some kind of modern day pioneer at an off-grid cabin 20 miles from even the tiniest town. But part of me thinks that it’s so unrealistic that we’re going to graduate, the NFL probably won’t happen, and he’s going to be forced to reshape this idea of what his future looks like and whatever that ends up looking like might be something I’m interested in. I went to the cabin last week to visit him during deer hunting. It’s not livable, and it’s not the kind of thing that could be made into a year round home without major money.

I deserved that one. But to answer your question I care about my partner as I grew up with them. So I agree this sounds like I don’t. I am just overall confused right now. I’m not happy in the relationship or in general. We don’t have either. I tend to let arguments go because it doesn’t ever end well & it’s not worth the fight. Sex life is all I know. So I’m not sure what a “good or bad” sex life is. But in general it’s boring & I usually need to get myself to climax. We did. They have been pushing them off & know I’m not happy about it. I am currently taking a back seat in their career. I respect it just don’t know if I can wait it out. Because I am constantly alone & not listened to. These are not reasons why I should be “allowed to cheat”. Questions are just being answered.