"I won't be with anyone else while we are fwb. I respect you"

thank you! i know i have a few different attachment styles and this might be one of them for me.

So you weren’t bothered by that party, but you’re bothered by him going to the strip club?

And what happens when he can never look at you the same after? I'm sitting next to my partner and he read this...he said "yea he's happy that his wife gives good bj's and thinks he wants to show it off...I know what it's like to have the best oral of my life (gave me a kiss and I blushed like a school girl) it makes you feel like a king. I have absolutely no desire to show it off and the thought actually makes me sick, but this guy feels like he wants to share HIS WIFE with his friend-thinks it will be sexy and a turn on, thinks it will be like a porno...and after she does whatever she does to this friend, her husband will completely regret it and use it against her at every opportunity. Every argument, every fight, every disagreement he will use this to make her feel guilty...guilty for something he asked her to do. Tell her not to do it. Well shit all this talk about bj's has me in the mood for one, you feeling generous?" I am, actually.

Don't do it.

Join writing groups?

I am in one—we started for NaNoWriMo about a decade ago and kept it going. You might meet some likeminded people that way.

Sounds like you are a pain in the ass type of girlfriend, that always likes to control everything, you display low value, and insecurities, trust issues and all, god lord have mercy your boyfriend

No because he had just went to a bachelor party where they had strippers come to their house. So I didn’t think I had to ask.

I would stop texting her.

You will figure out if she is actually interested pretty quick. Let her do the reaching out and plan making. If she doesn't do it I think you would have your answer.

first off, since you never had a conversation about it i think you need to do so now.

you do understand that he doesnt have to go to a strip club to cheat, that can happen anyway anywhere. you either trust him or dont.

my husband has gone to a few over the years for bachelor parties, i do not have any issues with it because i trust him. if it isnt often or habit, no big deal for me. i am secure enough to realize this isnt what makes a man cheat.

not all women feel like this i understand that, but you have never discussed it so i think there needs to be some level of forgiveness here.

The title overstates the situation. It’s a generally popular anime and he was masturbating while watching, not necessarily to the show. Also she’s gotten off on Amazing World of Gumball porn so if it was to the show it seems like they’re made for each other.

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Did you ask him how he felt about it before you went?

She's not meeting your emotional needs/is not emotionally available enough for you, and you'd be better off focusing your energy on someone who gratefully receives it and reciprocates it.

A guy I'm talking to is doing the same shit to me right now.

Well its a form of intimacy for a lot people, right? Many people find it strengthen their emotional bond to their partner.

Do you have any idea of her reaction if you told her it was straight up jeopardizing your reletionship?

Sorry dude.

Best of luck!

In your 30s he and no even kisses then how would it be at 60s!! I think this is a miserable life for you

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You said in another post you went to a male strip club .

Did your BF get a lap dance? What happened?

Do you not allow him to see tv or movies alone that has nude women? If he never touched them and was just hanging with his friends and you have too been to a strip club it seems kind of hypocritical

It doesn't just sound like he is depressed, he is depressed. There is more to this than just your relationship and he's not doing this to you. He needs help, a therapist, and likely medication cause this rings all kinds of warning bells.

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Don't respond.

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So you were sleeping with Noah and your future husband at the same time. Did you sleep with Noah after you became exclusive?

I like that show it’s getting good af

I think it may be best to distance yourself from the friend abit, its ok to go to someone for outside advice and perspectives but your husband should be the guy your talking to the most about your issues. I understand that he doesnt want to do that but he needs to be an active part in the emotional aspect of your life. Right now he benefits because assumingly he gets the sex and fun stuff and sends you away to deal with emotions with someone else. Now your feeling guilt about sharing and becoming so close to the best friend when in reality you did what your husband wanted. I think you need to talk to your husband about this and explain you need him to step up emotionally for you, it will bring you closer together in doing so.

Totally. It really doesn’t have to be good sex OR good relationship. Frankly, the way I grew up, I thought sex was just for the guys and we women were basically here to make sure they had a good time. I’ve had a lot of sex I didn’t really want to have and a lot of just plain bad sex too. Once I got older and realized that hey, this party is for me too? Then I was done just putting up with it.

I really wish that we taught sex Ed in the US more like some of the Scandinavian countries where pleasure is discussed. It’s not just “don’t get pregnant or get a disease” but also….this should be enjoyable.

Wish I could go back in time and tell my late teen self that message! But I’m not wasting anymore time. Happy to have a lovely partner who cares about my enjoyment too.