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You should tell her boyfriend

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Huh? Most every post about cheating is like 95% people telling them to leave now. I don't see much cheating defense around here.

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That is an excellent rule. I think a lot of feelings would be spared if more folks followed this!

i’m not really emotionally invested i was just kind of bored and curious so it didn’t really feel like cheating to me. and i still don’t feel guilty

Well thanks for the advice I really don't want to end this relationship but it's getting to me have 0 sex

Since he wasn’t your friend before and it appears he was looking for casual anyway—I’d cut him off.

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You completely misunderstood what they said. They’re saying she was never your gf bc to her, you were never a bf. You were just a plaything that she lead on unfortunately. No one’s identifying or relating. Just run.

Of course it is, would it be cheating if it was a guy? It doesn't matter what gender they are, you are sexting and having an emotional affair so yes you are cheating. It baffles me how people can be this clueless.

He wants you to give a BJ to someone else or he wants someone else to watch you do it on him??

Either way, you get to choose if you’re comfortable with acts or not. You’re not an object that’s just there to do whatever he wants.

If you don’t want to do it, say no.

Break up. You don't share the same life goals. Don't waste your time hoping he will change his mind

Don't you think she's allowed to prefer one potential partner over another?

So you both want to be with the other person…why not be with them?

i don’t feel guilt about this because i was never emotionally invested in her for these few hours, just kind of bored and curious. if i start feeling guilty i’m gonna tell him, but other than that he has no way of finding out

>I got hurt because he keeps saying he loves me and will have me back

I mean, sure, but unless he's stupid he knows that's not a sure thing. Like maybe he's just trying to prepare to move on in case you shut things down, which you're apparently about to.

But whatever. You're not feeling it anymore. That's all the reason you need to give.

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you need to get tested and leave him.

Everything else sounds positive and healthy.

She might have completely checked out of the sex, or developed an asexual personality.

Not sure what else you can do besides keep trying to light a spark, and contemplate it being a deal breaker for you.

It sucks.

Yeah I phrased it as casual. It's not so much about exclusivity, though for me I don't like pursuing multiple people past let's say date 2. OTOH I'm totally cool with safe casual stuff, but intentions weren't set.

Idk if it's contradictory to say if she wanted something casual I wouldnt be as bothered but otherwise I'd see it as a massive red flag considering the context of our dating. At the very least I learned the importance of discussing intent, never took this sub's word for it.

Thanks for the advice, I think I needed moral support more than anything

Sounds like you have an avoidant attachment style. I'm the same way and I have a fearful avoidant attachment style. You might want to look into attachment styles and take the quiz. This will give you some insight into the ways you can heal into a secure attachment type and won't have these feelings with every guy you date

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

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