Here's a little exercise a therapist told me to try when I couldn't decide something, or more accurately, didn't know my own mind.

Flip a coin.

Get your quarter and pick heads you go, tails you stay. And tell yourself this is it! This is the Deciding Thing, no backsies.

Flip the coin, catch it, slap unto the back of your other hand - but don't uncover it.

Take a deep breath, remember This Is It. Pay close attention to yourself and be very aware of how you feel.

Now. Look at the answer. How do you feel? Like right now, immediately, gut reaction to the answer. Are you relieved, happy, excited, sad, bummed, annoyed you put this decision into the flip of a stupid coin?

This exercise will help you focus on how you feel and what you want. Then make your decision from a place of knowing yourself.

Good luck OP.

I don't, but I guess what makes it hard is what if he does change?

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first off this is not a kids show also feeling like this is a troll post bc how did u see the screen and immediately know it was my hero academia without knowing its not a kids show

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Your damsel in distress wants to play the damsel 24/7. You can opt out of being the White Knight.

If you are looking for a partnership, she's repeatedly told you that that's not what's on offer. Stop waiting for the answer to change, what you see is what you get.

Kick her out and find someone who cares about you not just what you can provide for her.

Okay I think we can all agree Op sucks for keeping said old videos.

BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE BF MORE?? this man is guilt tripping, emotional abusing op and isn't respecting op's boundaries about not wanting sex and keeps bugging them about it

PLUSS CAN WE PLEASE PAU ATTENTION TO THE PART WERE THE BOYFRIEND SEND OP'S VIDEOS TO HIMSELF WITHOUT PERMISSION ?????

sure op sounds like they might suck some but good fucking god how is everyone ignoring the Gigantic red flag of a guy this is???

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Not necessarily. Give him a minute. Try this, a quickie to get his first time out the way, let him give you head for a while, then see if he is up to it again. Maybe even bring in multiple toys so after he gives you head, he can use one of those remote controlled toys on you if he’s not ready to go right away. Maybe seeing you get more turned on will help him get more turned on too

Do you have personal experience with this?

It's not unheard of. Keep the respect of boundaries but if you're really interested, work on yourself and check in with her once in awhile. I've reconnected with a couple of people who I dated when I was younger.

You might be SOL friend. If you can conclude that your partner has no real desire to have sex with you, this might be as good as it gets... Having the 'this is a chore' and 'I only participate to make you happy' type mindset.

How's the emotional side of things? Do you feel disconnected? When was the last time you two went out and had a date night together?

Woman staying in relationship for five years in their most fertile periods. Teach each other better skills on selecting men and knowing when to leave relationships with no future potential.

Couples therapy! It does wonders when you feel stuck.

You have a legal right to be there. Stand your ground.

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That's what I figured. We still have lots of love and respect for each other and I still see a future with her. I am choosing not to reach out to her and wait and see if she wants to eventually reach out to me. I do not want to date anyone for a good few years since that is no longer my priority so I am okay with waiting. She is going into medical school so I think a breakup would be the only way we could ever be together again.

This is who she is. Do you want to listen to complaining for the rest of your life?

Say you got covid. Time for this pandemic to be used for good.

So your family get every Christmas and hers doesn't and you expect them to ship out to her sisters after they spent thousands to spend Christmas with you.

My my my you are a selfish ass aren't you.

If you part as friends there's always the chance to reconnect. But it takes a long time

Just go cold on him. Don't answer his texts, don't pick up his calls. When you do talk to him, and he talks about getting back together just say "no, thank you". Nothing more to argue with

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Thank you

I feel you there, not exactly what you want to see afterwards.

But its honestly no surprise. People like her are unstable, manipulative, and controlling.

Its kind of ironic how she placed you in hand-cuffs and in turn told you not to worry, we're just friends.