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Never once did I state that she owes her boyfriend sex ? I advise you read comments more carefully. I only said that's quite odd that she wouldn't with her boyfriend.

Next, I don't give a shit about her recording the experience. It's a stupid thing to have in your phone when you get into a relationship.

Lastly, I didn't comment on him "pressuring" her into sex. If she wants to have sex with him that's her choice.

Go somewhere else with that shit.

Yeah most are. Lots aren’t as well like the “Pro Heroes” and such.

I thought we were supposed to delete sex videos/pictures of our exes or people we no longer see?

There's an awful lot of comments here shaming you for having these videos when you have a partner. I don't see what the issue is. Presumably then, all the people who are against this, are also against watching p*rn?

I really don't understand what the problem is with a woman having recordings of her sexual past.

If he doesn't like it he can leave.

OP, it's 2022, go find yourself a man who doesn't see you as an object and understands that women will usually have had sex with other men before them.

I can't believe this is even still an issue. As if a woman only has worth if she's a virgin 🤦‍♀️

I don’t want to stop trying either but I’m just mentally and emotionally exhausted at this point

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aren’t the characters literally underage

He accessed private things of yours without regret and thinks you're at fault?

Nope. 🚩🚩🚩

He broke your trust, your boundaries and tried emotional manipulation.

I'd get rid.

A boundary doesn't stop you from doing something, it simply establishes a red line that you cannot cross or they'll leave. Controlling behavior is purely coercive

Having old videos of past partners is a red flag. Personally, I really find it hard to believe you didn’t mean to keep. You don’t just forget you have 56,000 pics and 600 videos of you having sex with other people. That just doesn’t happen.

He shouldn’t have been snooping. You also don’t owe him sex. But you have to see from his point of view. Anyone would feel insecure of themselves after seeing something like that.

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He wants you to know he has options. He wants you to feel insecure, like you have to fight to stay relevant in this relationship.

Honestly? He's 33 and this is high-school mean-girl behaviour.

Dump him. You're worthy of so much more.

Just because he's her boyfriend doesn't mean she owes him sex. I know many women who have recordings of themselves, does it mean they don't value their partner? No. Does it mean, that because she's had sex with them she owes sex to her boyfriend? No.

(Most) women have a sexual history, hers just happens to be recorded. So can we stop shaming her for her choices please?

Also, pressuring your girlfriend, or anyone to have sex with you when she doesn't want to is kind of r*pey so can we just, you know, not?

You know I was just gonna let your comment slide but I do have one thing to point out.

You are ignorant. Cheating has different definitions in different relationships. Example: my friend has an agreement with her partner that she may have sex with others, as long as she tells her partner before/after it happens. My other friend isn't even allowed to hang out with the opposite sex, or it is cheating. Different relationships have different boundaries and it's bold of you to assume anyone's boundaries.

When I flirted with his friend, I told my husband the morning after and he said it happens sometimes and just asked me to not do that again. And I have not. Did I cross a line? Yes. But did I cheat on him? No.

You are being overly critical of someone who is on an advice sub. Nothing about your comment was advice, it was all criticism.

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Nope, OP

Sorry but this ones on you, if you decide to date and "take someone seriously" especially things like that should be out the window. I feel like every relationship has it phase when you wonder about you SO phone and well if there isn't anything to hide why not.

Flip the script and TRY to see if you were being given a cold shoulder and once you think somethings up you find all these videos and images with other woman.

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This is a common problem faced by young couples. So you are not toxic. You just wanted to get payback. You have both cheated. Now that there is sufficient payback are both of you willing to work on it?

Trust, loyalty and fidelity are important if you want to move forward. I myself when I was your age went into nuclear revenge mode. It was a drawn out relationship that should have ended way sooner!

It is not about you earning his trust but both of you earning the trust.

What can you do?

Of course. Take care of yourself - you're important and you matter.

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I mean she’s ALWAYS been clingy. Like ever since we met. Her lifestyle didn’t really get to the point where she was spending money all the time until I pretty much allowed it when we got the house two years ago.

The only thing that prevents me from leaving, is wondering if she’s just gotten way too comfortable with her lifestyle, because I haven’t held her to the same responsibility I hold myself.

I almost left two weeks ago.

I called Mom up and told her that I’m 90% sure she’s a Covert Narcissist. I had been telling my parents about a lot of the shit she does for the past year.

Mom comes over and brings boxes. I kinda started to break down because I didn’t picture her getting angry and having a meltdown.. I pictured her crying her eyes out and having a panic attack because she has abandonment issues. Her mom did shit like stick her in the closet and leave her when she was a baby.

So Mom kinda talked me out of leaving. Said that her and my dad used to have all kinds of crazy fights and that she used to do some of the things my Gf does. Like say mean disrespectful things and never apologize.

My parents broke up and got back together a bunch when they were our age. Got divorced twice and got back together. They are still together today, even though mom gets super mad at him.

Me and My Mom kinda compare me and my gf’s relationship to her and my dads. Me being more like my Mom and gf being more like my Dad

This isn't laziness. This is severe depression.

This young man went from doing everything you expected of a partner to sleeping for two days at a time without eating.

Laziness doesn't make you stop eating. Depression does.

He needs help.

Thank you <3