Recent comments in /f/relationship_advice

amorehappyversion t1_iydk8bg wrote

Reply to Bringing girls home by LuckySport541

Yeah, continuing to party past 6am means sex and or drugs. Platonic discussions just don’t have the steam to last all night. You know the deal… don’t let the playah gaslight you.

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shay-doe t1_iydk62j wrote

Reply to My partner doesn't pay attention to my small requests by [deleted]

You both were obviously brought up very differently. These types of habits don't just happen over night. Infact they are hard to create. Relationships are work. Most of which are choosing your battles and learning how to live with another human who is not you. Sit and think if you can live with this the rest of your life. When they are sick or starting a new job it will get worse. And if you decide to have children all bets are off. If cleanliness is a deal breaker that's ok. Just make sure the next person has similar habits to yours before moving in.

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angryliltoast t1_iydk0oo wrote

Reply to comment by Kooky_Independent656 in 8 years by [deleted]

I know. He wants to. I’m fighting for us. I don’t know what to do. He’s told me he’s mentally checked out but I can’t just let it end. We bought a house together this year. We’re engaged.

I don’t know if a big gesture today is the right thing to do or not. I don’t know if he’ll accept it. I need some serious advice. He’s mentally checked out but emotionally he still has feelings for me. I know we both love each other and I know we can work if he’s able to give us another chance.

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No_Nothing_7003 t1_iydjvp2 wrote

Reply to comment by ForbiddenFruitiness in 6 year relationship put on "break". I'm 29M she's 27F. Really struggling mentally, need help please. by [deleted]

Good response. Her main thing is that I fix all my issues, and develop more as a man so I don't slip back into that miserable stage. I'm being non-argumentative with her currently and being genuinely kind. She's still heartbroken that it had to take a break up for me to "wake up". She's being kind to me as of now, sending me pictures, etc. I'm not sure I have the greatest read on the situation but she allowed me to buy cutesy gifts for her again. Previously she said she doesn't want anything as it'd make her somehow indebted to me. No arguments as of a week now, and she's still sad but being nice towards me. Texting me back, etc.

I was planning on making a gift box for her with a handwritten letter and shipping it over. I also have been working out and was planning on getting a really nice outfit since she's going to a cousins wedding in January. My plan was to look my best, feel my best, and ask her if I can join her. Let me know if this is too forward. I really miss her..

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MasterOfTriad t1_iydju58 wrote

Reply to I miss a man’s touch … by [deleted]

My ex was that way, married 13 years, she didn't pay me the time of day... I begged her for councling eventually after begging for affection, for a guy I an the affectionate type... and I eventually left her, I miss it of course I do, hopefully he accepts councling and you can move on from it.

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Curious-Duck t1_iydjp9l wrote

Reply to In a long term relationship right before proposing but curious about exploring sexually. Should I [29M] should break up with my 3-yr gf [32F] or am I stupid? by KenMagus1600

You’re only entertaining those ideas because you’re absolutely deprived.

Seriously, celibacy before marriage is a fools errand. So what if you save yourselves? You’re not even a virgin.

There’s zero point in waiting, you will never know if you’re sexually compatible if you don’t have sex before marriage.

Your options are:

  1. Break up with her, and don’t EVER agree to celibacy again, in your next relationship
  2. Bring up the conversation that you actually DONT think celibacy is a good idea before marriage and that you’ve changed your mind- hope she responds the same and explore each other sexually.
  3. Don’t mention anything, continue having depraved thoughts and desires because you’re celibate, eventually marry her to have sex, then hope you’re compatible.

Act like an adult and have conversations that are difficult, and stop agreeing to shit that will eventually hurt you both.

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SleepFlower80 t1_iydjj6b wrote

Reply to 8 years by [deleted]

From his point of view, you’ve had the guts of 8 years. How much more time must he give/waste? It sounds as if his cup has run dry. Ultimately you can’t make someone want you when they don’t want you. The only respectable thing to do here is accept he feels the way he feels, move on and do better.

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sbucks2121 t1_iydjfls wrote

Reply to Relationship standards. Is the Man supposed to “Provide”? This is 2022 by ThommyChi

Alright... cut all the drama out from this situation. It comes down to a simple question. She has shown you who she is. Aside from all of the mistakes and communication challenges, are you willing to spend the rest of your life with someone exhibiting this behavior? Only you have the answer to that question. Just know that if you choose to continue without compromise, the situation doesn't change. Are you OK with accepting these personality traits?

You can spend all the time in the world asking the internet what is normal, but every relationship is different. Things that bother you may not be an issue for others.

If you are still interested in my random opinion, here goes...

She does not respect you and uses emotion to manipulate you into behavior she finds acceptable. She is not mature enough to handle adult conversations around money and relationships. While there are a million different types of relationships, there are only a handful of healthy communication strategies. All of these strategies involve conversation, reviewing compromises, and moving forward. You cannot grow in your relationship if you do not employ these tactics.

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