Could you live with this for the rest of your life? No? I think that's all the answer you need.

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Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as Chads, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

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Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

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• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

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This 💯

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How come you didn’t delete yours? My partner didn’t when he first got with me, he just deleted the actual apps, didn’t even think to delete the profiles as he said he just met me and was happy. I asked if he would delete the profiles and he did though

I don't know, this kind of sounds backwards...

You had an inkling this guy liked you. You started giving him more attention. Invited him outside of work... He went out of his way to sign up for volunteer (probably just to impress you).

And you're upset your boyfriend isn't jealous about it?

If you're doing this type of thing to test your BFs reaction, just break up.

Tomorrow isn’t promised. Enjoy each day as they come with people who make you happy. Your story will unfold with time. Don’t overthink it.

Don't shit where you sleep.

In other words, do NOT act on impulses to date or fuck co-workers. You will 100% regret it. There's a better chance of things not working out than working out. And then you'll need to deal with it every single day until you get a new job.

[deleted]

That is such a hard place to be, the one and only person on this planet that is allowed to touch you and give you that validation that you ache for in your very core. Can you tell I've been there, you need to make the time for counseling. If you can't see a way or you can't find anything that you can drop from your schedule. Then just get a divorce now before you guys hate each other to the point of it becoming bitter. There are video options available. If you SO isn't receptive and won't put the effort into counseling. See my comment about getting divorce. If you have kids you are teaching them what to expect and what to do in relationships. Even if you think they don't know about any of it. They are watching how you interact with your SO and will subconsciously use that as their benchmark for behavior. Daughters will be accepting of that treatment and sons will see his treatment as par for the course. If not for you do it for your kids. Secondly you deserve to have your needs met. You are important and worthy. You are strong and capable. Even if he won't do any kind of counseling with you. You need to get therapy on your own. It will help you learn how to validate yourself and give you the confidence to work on yourself and find your happiness without needing someone else. Hugs sorry for the novel. You got this sister!!!

[removed]

[deleted]

It's only been a few minutes lol.

See I think you are projecting what YOU would do in this case. Because I know people personally who have stayed with a cheater and don't act that way, they don't ask for the password or expect immediate replies or are bothered by silence.

Should be upvoted more, great advice!

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No, what’s the point? What do you want to achieve? She didn’t promise you loyalty. It’s between you and him.

I did contact an ex of my husband, they were friends but lied to me that they didn’t speak or see each other.. I saw teams messages where she wanted to meet up after our holiday because she wanted to talk things out. I was angry that he lied so in the moment I sent her a message and she suggested to meet up all 3 of us, we did meet up It didn’t make anything better, worse even I would say. It took us a long time to move on from this…

What everyone is saying here is valid, but I have an add from a love language perspective too, but as a woman.

I'm going to hazzard a guess that physical touch is low on his love language list. When I test out, it's below 10% for me - and I have extremely high sex drive. But I DO NOT crave the small touches. So I like them, sure. But I don't need or crave them so I have to be reminded to give them to another. Sounds like your husband could be like me, but doesn't seem to care to adapt to your language for some reason. There's no compromise happening. You've got to find a way to meet in the middle. You need more PT to be "shown" love he needs another way.

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Know that your feelings are valid. It is how you move forward acknowledging those feelings and learning to trust your partner by their actions that will help you. Wish you the best!

I still have my accounts on dating apps tbh, i have not logged on them since i met my wife, accounts well i presume are still their, been about 10 years i think

Up to the "buying me clothes" part it sounded just fine, but I admit that's a little too familiar for my liking.

Not quite red flag level, but it would make me uncomfortable.

Like I said she pays for groceries and electric And I pay $1000 rent and $100 for internet.

Max she spends on groceries is $500. But I’d much rather shop smart and have a plan every week. I feel like I don’t have a voice or that she never validates my concerns, whether financial or emotional because of the things she does