Damn, well you did tell him that you were unhappy but the cheating, lying and the way he found out, yea that pretty much killed your relationship. Give him space so he can heal from this, if he ask for details give him and don't trickle truth him, if he ask to see your txts make you won't delete anything (hiding anything would mean you still cannot be trusted) if he chose to go NC so be it as long as he get over the pain. DO NOT try to pin any blame of him (he didn't cheat you did, and you are not the victim he is) also you should work on yourself so you won't do that again. And remember, cheating is not a mistake, it's a decision.

Two people are guilty in betrayal: he paid little attention to you, and that's the result.
To forgive betrayal or not is his business and only his decision. Then it is very difficult to restore trust.
Now your ex wants to be alone, and you have to pack up and leave him, give him time.
Maybe a week or two or a month and then try again to establish a relationship - first by talking. And you will see it by yourself. From my experience: it is difficult to forgive betrayal, and it is even more difficult to live with this person afterwards and every time he/she goes with friends to a movie / restaurant or somewhere else, to be afraid that the situation will repeat.
Good luck to you!

i mean as many as the person is willing to give. Personally speaking i wouldn't take a cheater back but if the dude who got cheated on is willing to forgive and forget multiple times why not let them.

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Maybe if it was one mistake... how many of the same mistakes do you make until you can say it's not one?

Your feelings are justified, any woman would agree. It is not only disrespectful but also deliberately risking your relationship because he knows what can happen with alcohol in these situations. It sounds like he is not very serious about your relationship. You should be the only one he is interested in.

If you need an outside party to help you trust your bf, your relationship is already broke.

he’s checked out and doesn’t even know it. you need couples therapy asap you need to make time for it.

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I want to start by giving you a healthy clap for maintaining your monogamous focus. Now with that being said have you evaluated why he may have just stopped.

Here are a few questions to consider:

• When you tell him are you passive aggressive?

• How often have you turned down his sexual advances? (Don't rationalize just answer the question in your head.)

• Am I healthy (fit) and working on moving daily for your own physical well-being?

• Where does he rank in my order of importance?

-How often per day do I complain about the area in his life he needs to fix?

• What is the most important reason he wants to come home?

• Does he work a physically or mentally exhausting job?

• Are you in counciling for an outlet?

• Did he romance you heavily when you were dating?

• Does he work significant hours helping with bills and financial needs of your family?

You've likely read the 5 love languages. But you need to find out why his love tank is empty? You can't get gas from an empty gas tank.

Find out when his heart turned to cold. Because it's cold as ice. I don't know your story but you do. You need to pause your feelings and methodically analyze what happened and make time to feed his tank.

Men don't withdraw from relationships easily if they are invested. Most times we a poured a glass of drama, do-this-now, passive-aggressive, not good enough, change-to-be-more-like-my-imagination, and despair so much our heart dies. We see our selves as machines for fixing and producing for your happiness. We feel like we are only machines. Machines have no heart. and machines are cold in the winter.

This is how men FEEL when women turn off their love and admiration. When we fail constanly in making a women they would die for happy.

You cant expect a broken table to dirty table in shine unless you wax and repair it. Take the first step. Overtime he will follow.

Good luck.

what’s the point? she might know about you and they already have the story. she may tell you they did hook up but you probably will still stay. you decided to work it out, leave it at that. but just be prepared for heartache down the road.

You already know this isn't appropriate. Trust your gut. Break it off.

it can be saved you just have to show him you can do better. I know plenty of couples where someone cheated and now they're getting married. This notion that a relationship has to end because someone made a mistake is false.

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Hey thanks for this. It might help

Yes, you should. She has a right to know the truth. I've been in this situation before and ended up laughing with my ex's exgirlfriend over the bs he said about me. I let her figure him out for herself but when she reached out to ask me about somethings that seemed odd I told her truth. I wished she would've asked sooner. I didnt volunteer the info before she asked cause I figured she wouldn't believe me cause I was the exwife and he was lying to her but I should've given her a heads up and let her draw her own conclusion.

You’re a serial cheater. Get therapy and leave the man alone.

I’m a grown ass women that needs a grown man to hold me tight and kiss me. Are you the man that’s going to do it? I’m a grown women with grown woman needs. Be a grown man and honor your responsibilities to me. What are your needs and I’ll do likewise.

You're a cheater. Do better for the next one. He really shouldn't take you back and you should respect that.

When you have a specific reason and they have given their permission. I was in very abusive relationships in the past where, when I was allowed to have access to technology like a phone, I was monitored completely. He had access to my camera, microphone, texts, internet history, call logs, downloaded apps, etc etc. I’m now currently in a new relationship, gave the guy my password because I was happy to be allowed to keep my phone while in a relationship, and told him he could go through it whenever he wanted if he asked. Well, he went through it without asking (just looking for an email, but still) and I immediately changed my passcode. He tried to argue it, but I told him I had laid out a boundary and he crossed it so he lost that trust I had given him. I explained to him what my ex did and that I refuse to be ok with someone invading my privacy again.

This was the first time I had laid out a boundary for a man and stuck to it. I was so scared, but figured that if he was going to be abusive, it’s better to find out sooner than later so I could get away more easily. He ended up understanding and I didn’t get into any trouble 🤷🏻‍♀️ I kept expecting it for days, and felt guilty even now a couple months later. I just firmly believe that every person deserves to be their own person and deserves their own privacy, no matter how long they’re in a relationship. I always give that respect but never thought I should be able to give the same respect to myself. I don’t care if it’s normal for couples to have each others passwords for stuff. I’ll share them when I’m ready to give up that bit of privacy. Maybe soon, maybe never, depending on what it is. The choice is mine alone

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• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

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Sounds like he has some ideals that root in toxic masculinity and the belief that as a grown man he doesn't need physical comfort anymore. Might be that he's hurting or withholding as well but sadly that doesn't mean he will change his attitude or opinions. I'd recommend to think of yourself first and if you don't get what you need, don't bet that he will change, get out. You're still young and don't deserve to be this empty.

What good will it do? I know you feel like it’ll make a difference, but it wont. You moving on and bettering yourself is going to make a difference.

I'd just pull that Band Aid right off then, no point in dragging this on longer. Just be polite, kind, and direct. If he wants to stay friends, I would say no in this scenario. Good luck.