Recent comments in /f/relationship_advice
Standard_Buffalo7762 OP t1_iycs0h3 wrote
Reply to comment by GroundbreakingBet281 in My (27M) wife (26F) denies almost everything that I ask her to do. by Standard_Buffalo7762
We met on campus and were on talking terms, and then she brought up the topic of marriage and asked me, I accepted as thinking it was an easier way of finding a partner. Never thought she would turn out like this. Well I guess it's also my fault for not actually thinking it through
Standard_Buffalo7762 OP t1_iycrt1v wrote
Reply to comment by undercovertortoise in My (27M) wife (26F) denies almost everything that I ask her to do. by Standard_Buffalo7762
I would say that arranged marriage is normal in our culture. Before we married, she told me about her 2 ex boyfriends, so I don't think that she wouldn't know about relationships. I've yet to talk to her parents about this, do you think I should ?
Murky_Anxiety4884 t1_iycrpky wrote
Hair style is a pretty superficial basis for love. What are you going to do when her skin gets wrinkled?
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undercovertortoise t1_iycrc13 wrote
Reply to comment by Standard_Buffalo7762 in My (27M) wife (26F) denies almost everything that I ask her to do. by Standard_Buffalo7762
Is arranged marriage normal in your culture? It is in mine, l was never taught the implications of marriage, just told that it was a necessity. If she never had a relationship and has grown up under a culture where dating and talking about intimacy is taboo she probably doesn't even understand the concept of marriage/a relationship properly
ProfessionalOven5677 t1_iycr5xw wrote
I’m not sure if the approach of focusing on making the other person happy is the right. What about self-esteem, confidence, being happy and secure with how you are? What about liking yourself? For me that always comes first. Taking care of yourself is important. So have you even talked to her why she made those changes? How it makes her feel? How she felt about her appearance before? To me clothing can be very empowering, the right kind gives me confidence and makes me feel badass. Also what’s so wrong with experimenting a bit with your style at some point in life. Most women I know get bored of their hairstyle every now and then and Thema change from long to short time and let it grow out after.
Maybe I’m wrong with that, but when you compare it to how you would feel about changing your style for her, I think it’s different because I’m general (again I could be wrong and over generalizing) the role of style, hair, clothes etc for women is just different. A lot of women I know including myself love getting ready and doing some self care. Like face masks, hair masks, styling hair, make up, choosing a perfect outfit etc. So I think for many women those things are a way of expressing themselves, having fun and feeling god about themselves. While a lot of men don’t really care that much about their outfit and put less time in their hairstyle and picking clothes as long as they look kept together. And if that’s the case for you too, then changing you hair cut for someone is not the same as when you hair and style is very important to you.
Standard_Buffalo7762 OP t1_iycqsyy wrote
Reply to comment by Aggravating-Pear9760 in My (27M) wife (26F) denies almost everything that I ask her to do. by Standard_Buffalo7762
We met on campus and were on talking terms, and then she brought up the topic of marriage and asked me, I accepted as thinking it was an easier way of finding a partner.
[deleted] t1_iycqqjh wrote
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Seemedlikefun t1_iycqou4 wrote
Take a step back and look at this from a different perspective. What other changes have been happening that you haven't been paying attention to? This is not taking place in isolation. Her disregard for what you like and find attractive about her appearance didn't stop overnight. You need to look for patterns of both yours and her behavior changes, and pull on that thread. Regardless of the true reason, these are major red flags including the 10 year time frame. I'll not tell you what I think is going on, because your gut is screaming at you enough that you are posting here.
[deleted] OP t1_iycqaqe wrote
Reply to comment by nintendoinnuendo in Two different views of “if you love someone” by [deleted]
[deleted]
Murky_Anxiety4884 t1_iycq59a wrote
I think it's healthy to have some times like this in your life. In the long run, it will help you to identify the relationships that make your life better, and to distinguish them from those that don't.
ThisSiteIsTrash69 t1_iycq2lu wrote
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be single for a few years whilst you work on yourself.
thedavo810 t1_iycq0q1 wrote
She's terrible...
[deleted] t1_iycpu0c wrote
[removed]
2ndChance_1stMistake t1_iycpqjb wrote
You don't have a wife.
You have an adult child.
nintendoinnuendo t1_iycpl2z wrote
Reply to comment by TyphoonCane in Two different views of “if you love someone” by [deleted]
Over a hair cut, and some new clothes?
Seek help
GroundbreakingBet281 t1_iycpgmx wrote
It doesn't even sound like marriage, it sounds more like you have a new daughter. She doesn't get what she wants, so she throws a fit and goes to her other parents house until you give in and buy her a present, You're not sleeping together ever and she has no interest in doing anything for you at all. What your parents are asking you to do is not to be the bigger person, it's to be her new dad and just roll over and be her bitch.
TyphoonCane t1_iycpa13 wrote
If she has stopped considering what you want from a relationship then it's time to end it. I wouldn't end it over this being a single instance of her giving the cold shoulder, but if it is part of a larger trend of her ignoring your wants then it's time to leave. Cooperation is a choice on both ends, and if you two aren't giving what the other wants then it's just time to stop cooperating.
nintendoinnuendo t1_iycp8un wrote
Shallow and stupid after 10 fucking years the woman can't get a haircut without killing your boner. Grow up fr.
And also, have you addressed what brought on this sudden change in style and appearance? This type of thing doesn't happen for no reason.
throwaway1946284 OP t1_iycp5cb wrote
Reply to comment by Snoo59694 in Do I marry him? 5 years later and I (28F) am still unsure. by throwaway1946284
So true. Thank you for your comment.
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name_doesnt_mater t1_iycp0hw wrote
Sounds like "she" problem, I would leave. She does NOTHING to make you feel loved, seems like she just likes sucking the money from you
AutoModerator t1_iycoxql wrote
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
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Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
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Aggravating-Pear9760 t1_iycouob wrote
Was this an arranged marriage?
It seems neither of you is compatible and she didn't want to be in this marriage.
Seek couples counseling or get a divorce.
Zimi231 t1_iycs4wl wrote
Reply to So I'm struggling with my girlfriend at the moment by SilverStreak8099
In my experience long distance relationships are doomed from the start.