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There's no clarity. Every person is flawed. If you quit him, the next guy will come with a different set of issues.

This is the paradox of choice. For men and women, we open social or dating app and see thousands of faces. We think to ourselves, there must be someone better. So we look for the mythical "the one", the 100%, instead of a partner you are 90% happy with. This is the paradox of choice. 50 yrs ago, he would have been an amazing partner that you would have gladly spent a lifetime with. Today, you are questioning if someone better is out there and thus making yourself unhappy.

It's ultimately your life, your call.

I agree! We have had an extremely in depth conversation along with several other conversations through regarding everything in this post and more. At times, it has temporarily helped and then at times it makes things worse. This is all on me because I’m the one in the relationship with all the doubt. I ask him if there is anything that I do that makes him question and he has not one thing to say. It is seemingly perfect apart from our sex life in his perspective.

I would love to have a third party present (like a therapist) to be there for these conversation because there is never any lasting resolve

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Also, I’m a Hispanic women.. we don’t age the same as other women lol I get confused for a teen mom all the time.

Def not weight gain or hygiene., im 5’2 120lbs .. very clean, 2 showers a day, brush night and day. This is not the problem.. he’s also very honest so if I did ever stink or get chubby he would point it out.

The key to resolving any issue is through communication... Open your heart out, and let him hear your insecurities regarding your relationship. Maybe he's just aloof about all these issues you face. At the end of the day it's only for you to decide whether to stay or let go. You had doubts about the relationship, 2 years in, and now you're 5 years into the relationship. Don't try to stretch it out further. This is the most important conversation which would make or break your relation.

I’ve asked all of these questions before but he just gets annoyed and thinks I’m nagging

See my comment below. You are not a priority. Move on.

I’m not the cheating type so I’ll def just sink in a depression hole before I ever seek it else where.. we talked about counseling but don’t know when we could even do that with our with schedules.

Yeah I agree. I’m currently on a waitlist for a sec therapist in my town. It’s been almost a year and she still has not opening. I’m also on a tight budget with school so my options are quite limited.

I would say not willing but using the excuse of our very limited budget right now. He spends money on other things so I know it can be done.

I ask because if he’s just not willing then he’s telling you that your relationship is not worth the investment. If that’s the case, it’s probably time to move on.

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He is not a man then, go find a real man.

I would get another therapist.

Not willing or can’t afford it?

I’m currently in therapy now (super cheap because I’m in grad school). It’s not very effective at the moment. I have expressed that I want to go to a sex therapist or couples therapy when we get into arguments regarding our sex life but he is not willing to pay for that right now.

Everybody chiiiiill lol this is obviously a troll. Everything about this screams for attention. Even if she was ignorant and woke washed enough to not realize how hypocritical and self centered this is she (if it's really a she) wouldn't have phrased it like that. This person's been fishing for attention ever since daddy went out for cigarettes back in 92. Option 1, this is a dude and he most certainly typed this with ghost, gangly white knuckles poking through fingerless black cotton gloves that match the rest of black antifa starter kit he's rocking. Except for the dirty, dollar store boxer briefs that failed the sniff test a week and a half ago when he turned them inside out. He's just goten back to moms basement from the BLM highway blockage so he can microwave some off brand pizza bites and impersonate some nypho teen girl that obviously needs life advice and to have her front hole welded shut like a Chinese apartment complex during zero covid lockdowns. It's most likely the girl that made fun of him in middle school for crying after she thought he was a goth girl and asked him for a tampon in home room. He's not sure if it's the crying or the visualization of her calling him a "little bitch crybaby" that he's needed to cum for the 10 years since then because both of those things have accompanied every one of the pocket lint sized ropes he's been throwing 3 times a day into his mom's old couch In the basement he calls his "APARTMENT" LOL

OK OK Option 2. I'm wrong.. not only am i wrong and she did it , but she asked the question genuinely and unaware of what she was in fact saying. So generations upon generations have forgone the path of least resistance and delayed gratification in the braudest version of the saying. They took the job with the benefits and made the bed because thats what you did. They cared about what aging parents thought and as those parents aged more, the rolles reversed and they cared for those that cared for them. Note to the young readers, i dont mean that they got uber eats for mom and dad or gave them a ride to bingo.. ASSES GOT WIPED. It's not really an act of service until shits involved and make no mistake kidos, shit is a constant theme in life and its only for the brief middle part that we can clean it up ourselves. As for the parental assholes, you wiped them, because thats what you did. They had plenty of flaws, of course, as every group in history, no matter how pure their intent.
But they also believed in this ever evolving way of life enought to go to war for it. They fought for what was right, as what was right became clear to them, and they changed course when mistakes had been realized.They fought overseas, sometimes for a belief that while our system isn't perfect, it's the bright path forward that would allow us to shape our own future and provide us and the generations after, the chance at a life never known to any people in recorded history. They fought here, amongst our own towns, farms,and families. Sometimes against ourselves. All of that fighting and sacrifice. All of that adversity and steadfastness in the face of uncertainty. What drove it? I think it was driven by belief. Belief in a way of life that was moraly, politically, religiously and financially sustainable. Not perfect, but a place of religious freedom that is morality driven. A place where our elected officials had been in service to us, not the other way around. And a place where if I chose to exercise self control, not do certain things that I've been told since my youth will hold me back in life, and be willing to take risks when necessary while working my dick off. Then I would be successful.

Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times. G. Michael Hopf

I was reminded of the quote above when asking myself what this person I'm responding to (really it's to the readers of the post that crusty gym sock wrote) must be like? What must they believe? How must they view the world to have the perspective they do? I belive in equality of opportunity, not equality of outcome. I believe that nothing is free, everything's a tradeoff. I know this doesn't sound like it has anything to do with a self centered single mom of three to be, that is too ignorant to realize she's a rapist as described by the same nonsense ideological movments she blindly endorces and supports without a thought or interest in the effect that it will have on society as a whole. Buuuuuut, some really strong men and woman created the safest, wealthiest society that gives the most disadvantaged amongst itself, more economic mobility and chance of success then anyone in history or even undeveloped modern day peoples could imagine possible. Our poverty stricken object to the amount they received in EBT and cash relief on a smartphone! This is the softest, most entitled generation in the easiest time to have ever lived. No words in any number of languages could convey the level of incompetence or uneducated arrogance that has been allowed to spread through society because we're afraid. Afraid of being rude or offending anyone. My heart sinks as I try to imagine the depth of the struggle that would be created by the totally imaginary individual that would have to exist in order for the rapist that feels neglected to be real and actually want the internet opinion on how to help her out if this situation that she feels like she's been wronged in.

My moneys still on it being the troll of an antifa fingerless glove model that's currently learning that cinnamon chapstick is only an exceptable substitute for materbation lubricant until it gets in the urethra. That's when he'll really regret spending his last $11.74 on that sweet 'SILENCE IS VIOLENCE' sticker for his skateboard instead of classing up moms basement a bit with a bottle of Astroglide.

I digress... I think. I was gonna edit this to make it a little cleaner when I realized how long of a ramble I went on, but it's 4am and nobody gives a fuck so just deal with it like this poor guy has to deal with that sociopath dumpster fire of a girlfriend. 😘

This guy sounds like a creep. Just stop replying to him. You don’t owe him you time or polite responses.

Tell your partner what happened so there’s no secrets between you. If creeper keeps messaging, hand the phone to your partner.

If your partner looks cross tell him to get his act together. You did nothing wrong. Awkward things like this just happen. Sticking up for each other is what relationships are all about.

Maybe try therapy? Either individual or couples. You need to unpack what’s going on with your sex life. You two are way too young to have no sex life.

Youre not confused.

You want to leave but have already classified yourself as “an absolute fool” if you do.

People end relationships all the time, why cant you? Your post is filled with criticisms of him and things you dont like but please know You are CHOOSING to stay with him.

We cant change anyone else. You are choosing to stay in a relationship that isnt working anymore…for what? “To keep up appearances”?

Dont take our word for any of this, its been 5 years, you have plenty of material to take and go discuss all this with a therapist and see what they have to say.

Best to you🧡

Yes. We have communicated about all of this before. And I believe that the cons can be overcome. I just have doubts still. That’s the main issue I wrestle with

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