I have tried calling her twice so far, neither of those times she has responded to me. The last thing that happened between us was a random chat about valorant

Not that I know of, she was having some family issues, but she told me everything was fine now

Fake. 2 days ago you posted about how you were dating a guy 5 years younger than yourself and were unsure about whether you could settle down with him and whether he was mature enough for it.

You deleted it and all that’s left is a comment you made that is still visible on your profile, which I’m sure you will soon delete too. Or maybe this post. Idk, idc.

You don’t have a girlfriend, you don’t have a boyfriend, you have issues. I’d rather you get help for those.

Sounds like you both struggle to communicate a bit. In your post you say you ask her non seriously (what the hell does that mean) but then you got serious when it made her upset.

Youre both dancing around just being serious. I can see why you'd be annoyed if you feel like you can't have a serious conversation about your relationship but you're doing this as you're describing how you failed to start off a serious conversation. Which is equally as annoying.

Try this next time. Sit her down and tell her you want to have a serious conversation about you two having trouble communicating. How you want to stop dancing around serious topics. Every time you want to have a serious conversation you yourself need to be serious. Rather than ask a question repeatedly point out that they're ignoring the question and tell them how it makes you feel.

Again. The way you went about things is pretty accusatory and the way you speak about the guy makes it sound like you do think some kind of way. So you can idk tell me you trust her but your post is basically a big ass "idk my girlfriend being a lil sus" post.

I think you need to do her a favour and take yourself out of the relationship. The way you speak about her is so rude and not the way a supportive partner should speak. She deserves better

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She made the joke about him being her side piece , I get it’s a joke but then she got defensive and yelled at me. And what I was trying to say is that she always gets defensive when something doesn’t go her way. Yes I acknowledge my fault I won’t be doing it anymore I just don’t know how to act because whatever I do it’s the same answer and reaction

Thank you

Now I'll say what your words sound like to me - like you are looking at her as a provider and have no empathy for her. She's not a person in your eyes, but an object. Sometimes people need a break. She's feeling unwell, and instead of trying to support and understand her and look for solutions, you are worried how this might affect your life. God forbid you had to support her if HER saving ran out, bc she took 5 days leave. Unfortunately, I know people like you and you will not make a good partner for anyone. I hope she gets therapy and moves away from you.

write her a heartfelt letter and give her some flowers

I had to send a female friend of mine home the other day, because she thought she could fall sleep on my couch, then stay overnight. I would have had no problem with that - at all - but I didn't want to discuss that with my girlfriend.

It felt bad at the time, but 1-on-1-hangout was already stressing it enough ...

Yea tell him every message he sends to your friends is one more clear signal that you made the right decision. And if he contacts you or anyone again you are contacting his commanding officer and the police.

Have you tried calling her? What happened right before she stopped talking to you?

This. You do need to tell him what you need. We’re all different and he’s not a mind reader. Communication is key here.

Dunno if this is a Murican thing, but just because someone doesn't feel like working 24/7 doesn't mean they are lazy. Work isn't and shouldn't be everything. Mental well being and feeling good with yourself matters more.

As for her falling out of shape, that will sometimes happen. If you conclude that you no longer find her attractive in any way better just leave now. There's no information as to how long you two have been together so it's not clear whether this is a long established relationship that should be fought for, or something that should be quickly cut off due to incompatibility.

Sounds like she might be struggling mentally with something.

No one goes from working full time and exercising 4 times a week to skipping work and staying at home because they're lazy.

Did something happen? Like something with a family member or coworker? Maybe you should talk with her about. But be gentle.

Telling her you think she's lazy isn't gonna make her want to open up.

By your post history it looks like you’re cheating on her with a man, anyways

I couldn’t hold down a job for 4 years and now I’m a nurse working 60 hour weeks. At no point was I lazy, just had bad luck.

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Since you are already going to therapy i'll just say this:

"I feel angry towards him because I don't want to have to ask what I need" this is the only problem i see here and something you cant expect of him, he can try to guess what you want but he cant read your mind so you need to comunicate how you feel and what you expect of him or he wont know if he is doing enough or not.

That isn’t lazy?

Yes I agree it would be childish. But it was not a joke I didn’t explain myself correctly , it was a question, why you don’t want me to meet him, that’s it. The thing is she struggles with communication, over a year I was very patient not pushing her and not forcing when I see that she gets mad. But she ignores every question that she wants , it’s not a way do to thing either , I’m just starting to loose my patience sometimes cause it’s not a easy situation to be in. I didn’t say I dont trust her , I do , but I don’t get why she gets mad especially when you ask her about strange things that happen in our relationship. Hope I explained myself right. I acknowledge that I shouldn’t repeat the question but you cannont ignore every question, it’s been a year like that and it’s the first time I said something back

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If you don't respect her to the point that you're calling her fat and lazy, then soon you'll not be respecting yourself either. It's time to go.

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