Recent comments in /f/relationship_advice

ThrowRA_9734 OP t1_j6pjlza wrote

Reply to comment by MrsJonesy2012 in I(25F) think my BF(25M) raped his ex. by ThrowRA_9734

She was high and drunk, he was high at one point but can't remember if he was high when they woke up and had sex a couple hours later.

I felt the same way, which is why I didn't see it as an issue before until we re-visited the situation.

She said she was manic and thought she was going to move away for a career opportunity so she rekindled their relationship but didn't get the job.

She reached out to me because she's getting married soon and said she wanted to get the conversation off her chest so she could move on and focus on her personal life.

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AutoModerator t1_j6pjd4v wrote

Reply to 35F with 30M. Is it worth trying to be in relationships these days? by LabTop5655

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1

yowen2000 t1_j6pj9ct wrote

Reply to I(32f) found out that my SO(33m) has almost 20k debt from TCG and phone games by [deleted]

> he will get it taken care of it without hurting our finances anymore

It is already very seriously impacting your finances, that ship has sailed.

You have a child to think about here, first and foremost. I very highly recommend you post your full financial picture (yours and his) on r/personalfinance and get their expert opinion. It will help you make a decision whether you see yourself clawing your way out of this with him, or if you want to move forward on your own.

> Sometime last year he received a 10k credit card that we agreed to keep away and maybe use it for a down payment on a house.

You would also benefit from increasing your financial literacy, you cannot use a credit card to make a down payment on a house. Have a look at the sidebar on r/personalfinance for the basics.

2

The_Crowley89 t1_j6pj6uk wrote

Reply to I(32f) found out that my SO(33m) has almost 20k debt from TCG and phone games by [deleted]

You make him go to therapy for his gambling addiciton, take charge of your finances and let him do more parenting with his children.

It sucks but its still not as expensive and draining as a divorce. Couples counseling on top of that so you can have a outlet, too. The debt is still considerable managable. He will have to work harder and longer hours, so while shit is being set up, let him spend time with his kid so you can take care of some of the steps needed.

Make it very clear that you are at a loss and that he will have to show, through actions, that you did not chose the wrong person.

Sorry this is happening to you. I would also suggest to get a financial consultant.

5

Futch1 t1_j6pj6uh wrote

Reply to Boyfriend (M24) is uncomfortable with my (F22) friendship with an old FWB (M23) by SimplyComplexlyOdd

With this particular bf - you will have to choose eventually. He says he’s ok with you hanging out publicly, but that will still eat him up and eventually it’ll resurface.

ps - very few BF’s would be ok with their GF hanging out with an ex FWB. I would be gone in a heartbeat.. We all know where the “you never have to worry about this guy” leads, and I think you need to be more honest with yourself and your feelings with him. This decision shouldn’t be so difficult.

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AutoModerator t1_j6pj6n5 wrote

Reply to Me (30F) Expecting child with possible narcissist (42M) by [deleted]

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

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  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

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1

AutoModerator t1_j6pj4wq wrote

Reply to My (F30) husband (M39) told me he's always going to dismiss my feelings if they're irrational by throwRAirrational

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

  • We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

  • Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

  • ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

  • No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

  • All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

  • What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

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1

ThrowRA_9734 OP t1_j6pixz1 wrote

Reply to comment by The_Crowley89 in I(25F) think my BF(25M) raped his ex. by ThrowRA_9734

She doesn't have any memory of what happened after they went to his house, but when she woke up she said she had pain and asked if they had sex. He said yes. She has no recollection of consenting.

According to her, it was someone she trusted and had a long time relationship with so she felt safe staying with him and she didn't want to go home that night because there was alot going on at her house (she lived with her parents at the time).

She told me she has PTSD from the event and has been going to therapy.

2