You sure you want to stay married to a man who not only happily cheats and sends nudes to other people…but also one stupid enough to believe he’d get paid for his nude pictures?

Really? He thought he would make money??

I smell BS.

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Hard no, this isn't for her it's for you. You made your choice now live with it. Trust me she doesn't want or need this.

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So you’re a doormat... gotcha. Enjoy life while your fiancé lies to your face. Hope it’s all worth the pain you’ll be experiencing soon.

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First know that getting so enraged that you lash out physically at someone is by definition an impulse control problem. This isn't normal nor acceptable regardless of (what you might feel is) verbal provocation. It sounds like she's got the same problem. These things don't fix themselves and if you're self medicating with drugs you're only making your mental illness worse. Both of you need some intensive therapy (and possibly medication). Go get some help before you wind up in prison.

If you really want to give him another chance then go for it but he’ll need to let you have full access to all his stuff full stop.

Overthinking it.

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I can highly recommend Non Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Very good on how to express needs in a gentle way.

Check yourself into substance abuse treatment.

If both of you, or even one of you is doing drugs you cannot be in a functional relationship. So get clean.

If you can't afford treatment, meetings are free (NA or AA will work). There's just one basic rule, DO NOT show up (heavily) under the influence of any substance. Other than that they can help you figure it out from there.

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Not to be the disagreeable voice, but I disagree. If she lost the vibe, well, it really won't matter to her.

The moving out thing.. its easier said than done. I agree with your last statement, I think about that all the time and how I don’t want to waste my youth on this relationship. For now I’m looking to set a boundary until I have my driver’s license and im getting it in a week. Idk :/ truly I should’ve left after the first outburst.

Just ask him!

Thays not meant to be short and flippant... it's really that simple

> But I would love for him to take the lead and tell me where to go and what to do all the way through.

Literally say these exact words to him, and ask gim to go down on you. He's 31, not 18 you can be direct.

someone who "refuses" to acknowledge your communication about your relationship with them is someone who is harassing you. There is no excuse for this, and you have no duty of care to coddle it.

Lmao oh honey.

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This is a maturity moment. You wanted her to chase you so you felt important. She didn’t. You now want to make sure she knows the ball is in her court. What when she doesn’t make the play the way you want her to?

Many people don’t want to fight to make things work. They want to enjoy their lives. Nothing happened. You felt you weren’t a priority. She probably did feel like you were but you didn’t feel prioritized enough. So- you’re at an impasse.

If you want her back you have to accept who she is and how she loves. And then the ball is in your court. Nobody with self respect will chase someone who dumped them. That being said “I love what she could be”… don’t love for potential. People are going to grow into who they want to be- not who you want them to be. At 21 she still has a lot of growing to do (you do too)… love her for who she is or let her go.

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OP, I think it's fair to point out to Jay that Logan is being his old manipulative self again, and quite possibly trying to break you up by inviting Jay to the wedding without you. Tell Jay that he has to make up his own mind about this, but if the roles were reversed, there's no way you would agree to be Rose's maid of honor if your BF was excluded from attending the wedding.

If he doesn't already know, you should also tell Jay about how Logan used to flirt with you before you and Jay met, how he would pry into your personal life (based on snooping Rose's phone) in ways that made you uncomfortable, and how in your opinion he's never been a very good BF to Rose. Remind him about all the times that Logan has messed with him personally, and about how peaceful the last six months have been without having him in your lives.

Finally, tell him what (if anything) will break your relationship if he decides to be Logan's best man, and Logan manipulates him into a compromising situation with one of the bridesmaids or some other woman - which he will likely try to do. You're not being a crazy controlling GF by explicitly stating your own relationship boundaries, and then following through if they are violated. If strict monogamy is one of them, make sure Jay understands that before he accepts Logan's offer.

You are in love with your dream of what the relationship could be, not what it was.
You've cut a clean break, let it rest.

DO NOT SEND IT

It's wishy-washy and full of "poor me" and drama. It makes you sound like hard work. Just don't.