He called you insecure after he.... lied to you, deleted messages, and made plans with his single bf and other women without telling you... You know how backwards that is, right?

Dam. I would be considering it myself tbh.

I don't care about any of the other details besides this:

>She has mentioned several times that she would rather not work, has threatened to quit her job without having one to go to, and rather force me to make all the money while she doesn't work.

You want a partnership, equal marriage. You're not looking to give handouts and freerides. And the way she is coming off, sounds like she's looking for a freeride.

Its like, entitlement instead of appreciation.

And I understand how you feel insulted by the co-workers comment. Like woe to me, my partner expects me to work, we're struggling so much, he doesn't pamper me anymore, my life is so hard.

If you're seriously considering a divorce. Please talk to a lawyer to gain a better perspective and start preparing for it, setting yourself up to win on some BS:

>Under the federal Divorce Act, spousal support is most likely to be paid when there is a big difference between the spouses' incomes after they separate. However, this is not always the case. A court may decide that the spouse with the lower income is not entitled to support

And you want to set yourself up to win on that point. Give yourself the biggest head start you can, once you have everything in order (do everything the lawyer says), serve the papers.

Porn addiction can have a negative impact on your actual sex life.

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I’ve talked to her about everything going on and her reasoning was my last and she has trust issues with me. So she turned to someone else. We’ve gone through a lot and are still together. She says she wants to try with me still but also says a part of her wants to try cause she’s scared to start over with someone else. She also went out with some friends and says she doesn’t know if she misses being single. So I think at this point I’m kinda close to being done.

His best mate is a cheating pos- red flag number 1

He lied to you about his location when there was absolutely no reason to. =red flag number 2

Blameshifting - red flag number 3

He deleted messages with his best mate - red flag number 4

Trickle truthing about their conversation- red flag number 5

Still seeing nothing wrong with being wingman to a cheating pos- red flag number 6

As you stated, he's never been CAUGHT lying, does not mean he hasn't been lying. I honestly think they went out to hook up and your fella has likely been cheating on you as well, birds of a feather and all that. There are far too many red flags and excuses in your post that scream trickle truth. Go through his phone and socials. I bet you find an army of red flags there, check all his contacts.

Probably should have added this but we tried an open thing (another female) which he basically set up without me knowing, (she was my really good friend at the time) and suddenly it was like woah okay so there’s 3 of us now? And I hated it, there would be absolutely no way I could be okay with him sleeping with anybody else regardless of gender while we’re not only dating but literal wedding planning.

This ended horrifically and I became a whole other person, it wasn’t nice.

He has autism and blames basically every mistake on the fact that he’s autistic so I never feel like I can actually be mad at him.

Now I’m typing this all out it sounds like a horrible relationship but he’s honestly my soulmate

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Bro. This is something you have to go through yourself. Are you guys married? Because if you’re not, and you’re still planning to have premarital sex, then I don’t see your problem.

If it’s the fact that her losing her virginity in Valentine’s Day, being memorable, then you just have to make sure she has the best Valentine’s Day experience with you. Being a bit older, being worried about your girls virginity is something that is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, unless you’re ultra religious. But if you’re having premarital sex, you gotta work on your philosophy, bud.

Tell his friend to quit touching you. End of.

That’s a good point and thanks for the perspective. A little bit of jealously can be normal and healthy.. to a point. It’s about how you handle it and set the boundaries after with your partner and respect them moving forward. I’ll talk to him tonight about it while it’s fresh.

She's messy for trying it, but he should have shut it down. Good luck.

Fuck

Lol. I think about this possibility because she posted a Insta story in a classy car after that day. Idk whose car is it tho

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Even if she heard she probably factored in he turned her down twice on doing anything. If you say you don't want anything, why get upset when you don't get anything. She did the right thing here.

OP, you should not approach her, but realize that u made a mistake in your communication and learn to do better. And instead of saying the opposite of what you mean, try to be more clear in your wants and not-wants

On that note happy cake day to u

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Eh that’s a reason for concern.

Can confirm. Had 2 friends this happened to. Felt so sorry for them being violated like that. HOWEVER. These scammers almost NEVER actually send the videos out because it draws attention to the scammers. They just try and blackmail money out of you. Course they might post them if you piss them off in chat during the blackmailing but not likely. Point is, in this specific scenario I can’t imagine it was one of those scams.

I did wonder if maybe he was chatting up randoms on Instagram and one of them saw he was married and posted them out but honestly no normal person would do that. It’s illegal in most places, so I’m not entirely sure what situation he got himself in. If he got hacked then there’s more chance it’s just an asshole looking to do asshole things

He called me bro before, and I asked him why he said he calls everyone that.

I don’t know what to tell you to do. But I will tell you not to continue a relationship forcing him to suppress his feelings. Do that and you can get married but you will also get divorced. I’m not bisexual but I imagine that if he doesn’t explore at least a little then you can never be certain of your relationship. Is it possible you can explore this together? Could you invite a guy to have sex with both of you? Maybe try swinging? I completely get it that you don’t want to be in an open marriage. But there are ways to keep the door closed but unlocked.

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