It’s actually fair to ask a partner that you are in a committed relationship with not to speak regularly with an ex or make plans to get together.

Exactly this.

Also OP, he actively chose to lie and chose his friend getting laid over your feelings and comfort.

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Thanks for your responses. I was able to see the message preview, and he only indicated that it’s been a few years and hoped my family and I were doing well. I swiped to delete the message and then blocked his number.

Okay. Why are you crying? It’s hard if you can’t satisfy a partner because they are asking you not to. Have you talked to a therapist about this? If not, please do.

He's going to find out at some point given your work situation so there's no reason to make a big deal out of it.

To be honest, the biggest issue here is the dog. There's no way doing a "shared custody" situation is going to be sustainable. Separately, I'm not sure why that context matters here.

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I will probably be the one that will cook and clean the most because to be honest this is how I function, even when I’m alone.

But he will do his fair share, I trust him. He is aware of women tend to do everything and he absolutely do not want us to have this kind of dynamic

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

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Thank you so much for your thorough response. I really appreciate it.

I guess we were both on dating websites and talked about who we were dating while we were also dating each other. I do agree though that if there are people out there that he aligns on this matter, he should be with them rather than choosing to be with me and complaining. I agree that it is an unnecessary comparison and a way to distract from my feelings.

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Given your in-post justifications why would there even be a doubt? You basically posted the question then defended that you are just friends. Finding out from you or someone else isn't going to make you any less pregnant.

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I’m not though. Obviously it’s not as easy as JUST bringing food to a table but there’s a reason it’s a minimum wage job - overall it’s low skill and anyone with a couple of weeks of training can do it. Unless we’re talking about Michelin star quality of knowledge and experience accumulation, you don’t need a degree to be a waiter. I’m saying this as someone who has done it for about a year, it’s not condescending.

He's covering his tracks. I personally think he sent them because he wanted to. Good luck

That’s great ! We’ve already talked about the sleep schedule. I’m more of a night owl, he likes to sleep around 10pm/11pm. He wants to go to bed with me, so we bought a small reading lamp, that way he can fall asleep beside me and I can read till it’s time for me to sleep. We’ll see how it works !

For the other subjects we agree on the theory, we’ll see how it applies in reality

It is simple you tell him. You are on friendly terms. If you were not then he would not let you take his dog to the park. It is his now. If he hears second hand then he will be right to think you are not as friendly as he thought you were.

Given that they are still part of your life it's probably best that they know. Because given your continued proximity to each other they'll otherwise inevitably hear it from someone else.

You don't owe them this, but it's probably the smoothest way to handle this.

Totally easier said than done but I'd just be honest with her. Maybe try to create a talking space to just open up about all of what has transpired. If things get to a point of no repair, definitely suggest seeking out an attorney to discuss your options since you have a kid with her.

Then his life goals don't line up with yours. If he doesn't care that he doesn't make enough to cover his car payment and rent then odds are, he's never going to do much with his life.

How anxious do you feel about having sex? Do you think this is some sex performance anxiety, insecurity, or something else making you worry obsessively about sex?

If it’s going to stress you or make you feel guilty if he finds out from someone else, tell him. If it’s not, don’t. The only person who’s feelings about the situation matter here are yours.

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Set a date night once a week. And follow through. Prioritize your time so everyone is happy.

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