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Op. Let me emphasize:. It is not your fault you were abused and assaulted. It is not your fault you had a miscarriage. It is not your fault you had a bad experience with an IUD. You are not a bad person. You are a normal person experiencing a lot of pain that you don't know how to handle. Your boyfriend may have trouble understanding you, and it's wrong of him to talk down to you or criticize you when he can't understand. If you can afford one and if you can find one, I highly recommend seeking a professional therapist who can help you work through your trauma and help you deal with your emotions in a less stressful way. I also recommend going back to your gynecologist to get the IUD removed if you haven't done so already. You do not have to live with that physical pain. If the doctor won't remove it or tries to talk you out of removing it, find another doctor who will take it out. It's ok to try a product and realize you don't like it.

The scam I’ve heard is have a fake sexy lady profile, flirt with someone, trade nudes & then blackmail the other person & try to make them pay to get their nudes back.

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

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• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

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Just reading this, I don't trust your BF. I also don't believe him, and I personally would tell him that HE needs to move out.

I would post this on r/personalfinance, they are very good at helping people approach these types of issues.

In my opinion, you've got three major things going against this:

• you are building a house, and uprooting that process will be a massive loss to you, right?
• your girlfriend is awful with money and become a much closer observer of that is only going to increase your frustrations
• she is not going to change just because you live with her, she has to want to change her habits, and if she just isn't interested in that, this may be a nonstarter

When I'm a wingman for my friend, I just talk him up to women. There's no reason to go back to her house

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This behavior wouldn’t be acceptable from someone your own age, but at least you might hope he’d grow out of it as he matured. This bum is 43 years old. This is who he is. It only gets worse from here. There’s a reason he’s shacking up with a teenager rather than a woman his own age — or within 20 years of his age. Gross.

I mean i did admit that the issue is in me, what I'm asking for is advice about how to communicate it without her feeling like i want to put restrictions on her

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It’s also completely possible that her irritation was to do with something in her expansive life outside of her job. Maybe she was having family issues, or financial troubles, or relationship troubles. There’s no telling if you were the root cause of her irritation.

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

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She does spend the night at my place

Yeah, it's time to move on.

There's two separate issues here. First, if you're only taking this trip as a way to avoid your problems, you're still going to have those problems in Asia and when you return. You're refusing to get real help. You need to.

Second, I don't really understand what your trip has to do with your mother's surgery. You've never had any sort of relationship or provided any support. So why would taking a trip matter?

To me it would depend on the partnership the other 364 days. For me and my husband, it’s just another day cause the other 364, he’s an amazing partner to me. I joke with him that even tho HE picked the wedding date, he still forgets haha it doesn’t bother me if he doesn’t do anything special cause he treats me amazing and visa Versa every day. If your bf isn’t, then reevaluate your relationship and if you want to continue. I don’t care much but you might so setting those expectations with him is your first step. If he ignores you, then move on without him.

and?

what did you think would change?????????

He was skeptical, and like I literally said, I didn’t know him back then.

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After three years together he should know that you take even this non marital "anniversary" seriously. So even if he thinks it's silly he should at least recognize that it's important you. These are the compromises we're supposed to make when we're in a relationship. So now you know that he doesn't prioritize sentimentality. But the truth is you've probably known that for a while now. All you can really do is decide if the positives he brings to the relationship outweigh what you perceive as the negatives. Once the bad eclipses the good there's not much to do but consider ending the relationship.

I guess that’s his way of telling you that he wants to have sex.

I’ve told him that he could do that but he said he didn’t want to work that much. I can understand but I don’t want to work a lot either but I am for the time being.

Yeah he's lying hard.

This never happened don't let him think you believe this bs