I don't want to discount the fact that his father allowed you to live for free for years, but the reality in this context is that you're absolutely in the right here, and if nothing changes, you're never moving out of his father's house if you stay together. He's content with things as is.

You want to start a family soon? How does that work financially? You want to buy a house? Who's going to give you both a mortgage? To back up, I'm sorry for being blunt here. I'm not trying to pile on. I logically understand that you know this which is why you're here. I'm just validating your concerns.

But let's put things into perspective here. You're paying off nursing school debt. Debt you took on to better yourself and potentially your future family. You made an investment which your career will make worth it in the long run. You're not in financial ruin (unless there's more you left out).

He makes an estimated $12K/year. Listen, there's integrity in every job, and if being a personal trainer is his passion and ultimately opening a gym is his dream, that's great. But dreams don't pay the bills. He's not even paying any bills right now, so where is his money going?

But if he can't even afford to live with his father, how's he going to open a gym? How's he going to buy a house? You're materialistic? You taking on debt for the purposes of getting a great career has ruined you both financially? Even if that's the truth, what's the answer? Just deal with it and continue living as is? This isn't a question of believing in him. What is he doing to achieve his goal?

Let's be real though despite my essay here. The guy's a bum and has no intention of doing anything. He constantly has nothing but excuses. When you're done, he'll have a new excuse. So take a step back and ask yourself if you want a healthy relationship, family, and home of your own? If you do, leave him immediately. Good luck.

I left that job about a week after the last time we were together.

It's definitely not easy to leave but it's 100x times fulfilling than staying in a dead relationship. I never regretted leaving. I hope you'll find strength

Ok got it

Well, since he was just positive he should know that he is ok for a while

Does he act like a hypocrite in other areas as well?

You're right. It is a scam they fall for. I have seen it happen to a guy once, as the scammer tagged me in an instagram group to out him. I haven't talked to the dude in years. It was wild.

But you have every right to be wary of his intentions. This doesn't seem like a first time offense.

Eh, its very common to get nasty after effects or even ‘long covid’, even if youre totally healthy before hand and had a mild case. Stuff like that can be a roulette, so i get his anxiety- but.

The fact that he was sick first, and is now doing this other side of the bed thing… you guys should just isolate from each other as best you can until you start testing negative, and make sure hes testing too in case he catches it. Wiping down surfaces and stuff is great, but if youre still interacting/sleeping together/ etc hes not actually reducing the risk, hes just making you feel bad. Different bedrooms (or someone sleeps on the couch) until youre better is a more reasonable solution. He could also be concerned about having to take time off work and stuff.

The problem is that when he’s sick, isolation doesn’t exist. As soon as I catch it, it’s a 180. I shouldn’t be touching everything, I should sanitize, we shouldn’t be in close contact. The hypocrisy is what I was pointing out.

He’s doing a poor job of doing that since he’s living with you

Yeah, I know. I guess I was hoping for some magic solution. Thanks for the reality check.

Ok same deal tho. He's not gonna marry you. You just keep throwing yourself at him and he's 26. He's gonna agree to easy sex with no strings attached.

He has made it clear there's no future for you two.

You should move on.

Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who can't decide if they actually want to be with you?

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This wasn't just a "friends to lovers" scenario but a coworkers to f*ck buddies situation. The reality is that he's not going to date you or even commit to being FWBs. It would be best for you to find a different job so you can finally get him out of your system and move on.

I know it’s just a fantasy but the way he talks about it, makes me thinks he really wants it.

Then it isn't a fantasy

I’ve done a LOT to be in this relationship with him

This statement concerns me. In every relationship there is a level of compromise that each partner makes but it is generally innocuous (what restaurant to eat at, what color curtains), it shouldn't be a compromise of your morals, self-respect, or safety and I hope what you've done to be in this relationship is more like the former rather than the latter.

It sounds like you want a traditional monogamous relationship that does not include risque or non-traditional partnerships. The 2 of you are fundamentally incompatible. It sounds like you have been incompatible since you decided that threesomes were no longer of interest to you. You should have left then but there's always today.

I guess there's nothing I can say in reply to your post, that doesn't make me look kind of shallow. Ironically, I feel a little bullied here.

That makes sense. I am very fortunate that my friends who are CF are very chill and kind. They just don’t want kids!

I knew someone that fell for this scam. The person invited EVERYONE that was his instagram friend to this group chat and exposed it. It was just a shirtless picture. I was included in that list of people.

He then downplayed it like he had no idea how they got that picture...smh

That’s the point of the post. When he’s sick, there’s no such thing as isolation, but as soon as I get sick, isolation exists.

Honestly I would just try and let this go. At the end of the day no matter how much you liked her or thought she was personable, it’s her job. I’m sure there’s strict rules on developing even friendships with patients, and her job just isn’t worth the sacrifice. I’ve had many friends say they wish they could befriend their therapist, I think it’s just the nature of having somebody listen to you unbiased, offering advice and reassurance. We all want our friendships and our partnerships to be like that, it’s an attractive quality. I know you said it’s part of your condition that you over analyze these situations but truthfully you are better off just moving past it. I also wouldn’t doubt yourself, if you felt there’s a connection there may well have been, but the likelihood is just that you truthfully were reading into it. Hope you’re feeling okay!

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I usually provide a much more thoughtful answer than this, but simple is sometimes better.

Hell nah, dude. This man ain't worth being with.

I am the one who is 44

The argument with your boyfriend is hugely insignificant in relation to the mental health struggles you are going through. I hope you have medical support for what I am guessing involves PTSD and/or C-PTSD, and I hope you have a therapist who can help you process everything you have survived and continue to survive. He can't be your therapist or your doctor, and, you're right, he hasn't experienced it and can't truly understand it.

Right and you said even if he had tested and was positive you would have done the exact same thing. So, I am confused as to what difference it made I'd he tested or not

Go over to r/childfree and see this could be legit

Most CF people are chill, but the ones who aren’t are really bad

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