Ummm if my best friend cheated on their fiancé they wouldn’t be my best friend anymore. Fuck liars and fuck cheaters. If their own fiancé can’t trust them then no one else can either.

The fact that your boyfriend apparently has no problem with his best friends infidelity is concerning to put it lightly. Birds of a feather flock together.

Also if he is willing to lie to you about small things he is 100% capable of lying to you about big things. If he wasn’t doing anything wrong, why did he lie? Why did he delete all his texts? He’s so full of shit dude. Innocent people don’t lie and delete texts. Don’t listen to anything his best friend says either bc he was capable of lying to his fiancés face no problem.

Honestly I would be surprised if your boyfriend hasn’t already cheated. He’s already admitted to lying to you about his location, deleting texts and talking about wanting to hang out with hot women (wtf? If you’re not trying to cheat why do you care what they look like?). And that’s just the shit you know about. And you only know about it bc he got caught. He admitted the hot woman talk thing bc he thinks if he admits to something a little bad you’ll stop looking and won’t find out the really bad thing he did. This is a common tactic with cheaters.

And for what it’s worth, if my boyfriend went bar hopping with his best friend and ended up at a girls house at 2am I wouldn’t think much of it because we like to party and stay up late and sometimes end up in weird locations. We’re 27 and 29 btw. We would never hide this from each other though or be weird about it bc we aren’t shady and have nothing to hide. 🤷🏻‍♀️ We have a large mixed gender group of friends and I’ve hung out alone drinking with male friends at 2am and it’s not weird in my circle. However if anyone in my group cheated on their fiancé they would immediately be shunned and ousted by everyone bc that behavior is not acceptable. None of the taken men or women in my friend group would ever talk about wanting to hang out with hot members of the opposite sex bc that’s gross and shady. Not sure how relevant all this is bc I know every social circle is different but I just wanted to give my 2 cents on all aspects of your post.

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You say that you absolutely trust her but you don’t. Other people’s intentions don’t matter if you trust her. Someone in a committed relationship doesn’t regularly communicate with an ex with the intention of seeing them at some point.

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Oh. He's lying. This was sexual.

He was blackmailed after sending his nudes. That's the scam.

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If he was sick and didnt test himself then you should have removed yourself from contact with him. If you are saying you wouldnt have done that anyway, whats your point?

Yeah just tell her your not interested in her. That’s all the explanation she needs

Is it really so crazy to be all "Netflix and chill?" From him after three weeks of dancing around it? He probably thought it was time to make a move. At the very least I don't thinks it's that far out of left field. As for dating, how are you not dating after all this time and all the chats? In any event its pretty clear that you aren't interested. He will most likely give up soon if you don't have a straightforward conversation about what yall are doing.

Not that I think the current american tipping system is great, but your tone here is pretty degrading to servers. a LOT of places split tips with front of house and back of house, so the chef does get tipped out, but the server is the only one making less than minimum wage. i agree the wage of the server shouldn’t fall on the customer, but that’s the way it is right now and taking your anger out on the server by not tipping isn’t going to change that fact.

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• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

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You don’t need reddit, you need serious therapy. This isn’t something you can solve or heal from here.

I’m in one of the reconciliation groups on Reddit. This is very fresh and raw at the moment for you.

Here are a few things I would be asking: Is he sorry because he got caught? Is this the first time? Is he willing to work on your marriage?

You don’t even need to ask any of these. You can just say ‘No. I’m done.’ And that’s absolutely okay too.

Do what you need for you.

I was a personal trainer as a side gig because I loved it. Personal training is rarely a career that is going to support a family or even contribute much. If he’s really working towards having his own gym, he would have taken the job. He’s going to want you to fund his dream and most gyms fail. Be very careful.

You are 23 years old is this the man and life you want to live?

You are both on completely different pages. Time to move on.

What happens when he says yes you and me and thats it, you get married in a year or two and he brings it up again? Do you think it will make it easier to leave after marriage/ A baby?

You dont stay in a relationship with a person when you want 2 completely different lives.

Again, at 23 you should be with someone who wants you.

You should decide whether you want to build a life with someone who chooses not to work while you pay his bills, and then insults you for it. I don't know why the answer would be yes.

>> He said I was selfish and being materialistic.

This is not the dude for you, perhaps? You're working your ass off, and your totally reasonable financial goals for the future are, in his words "selfish" and "materialistic." He is happy to work 4 hours a day & not try to advance while you conveniently pay for nearly everything, including his own car! I will never understand how so many on top of it women accept this type of being used by a man financially, while at the same time being called "selfish" for not wanting to be used. He's snowing you and your response is "how can I support him EVEN MORE." (Edited: The audacity of your dude is making me see red tbh.)

He is 17