if he knows he has an addiction, why isn't he doing anything about it?

You're right. It's not going to go anywhere since he's bringing up topics that you said you weren't currently comfortable with. He's disregarding your boundaries and that is a sure way to be a predatory partner. A relationship with him would suck. Don't waste your time.

I think you didn't say anything mean or invalidate my admissions of guilt, responsibility and contrition enough.

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General roommate rules still apply, with the added complications of it being a relationship:

• Make sure you are both clear on finances. Who's paying for what. Who's doing what. If it's one of yours homes, and the other is paying rent, what happens if you break up?

• Chores division. Who's doing what. Are we going to cook at home or order in? We LL we get a maid and gardener? Etc

• Make sure to still have date night and romantic time.

Have fun. And keep an eye out for those red flags.

Yikes! It’s tough because your right. I have tried to take some power back in this dynamic. I’ve told her that I also don’t know if it’s going to work out with her. That unless she works on certain behaviors I don’t want to get back with that person. But overall I still have been there for her and it could be seen as kissing her butt. When ever I put distance between us in any way she responds by chasing me,and I let her back in.

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I understand that. I think we just need to talk. There were a little more details that I didn’t add. Before we started hanging out he was talking to one of his other exes and he basically broke things off with her and this other girl he was seeing when we started hanging out. That’s why I don’t feel like much of a rebound because i’m not the first girl he’s been with since the breakup. To end things with those girls when we started hanging out kinda says a lot too. I didn’t tell him to do that.

The point is consideration for your partner in what would essentially put us in an LDR. I want them to do what's right for them, and recognize that it's totally their decision to make! Again, would totally not hold them back from going, I just think it's an important space for a dialogue

Your standards for eating during pregnancy are far more restrictive than average and so you should have mentioned this before you got there. If your husband isn't prescient you should have prepared him that you'll only eat a very limited menu and that he should notify his parents to have something on hand that you'd be willing to consume. To wait until you got there and expect people to have read your mind is a bit extra. Most people aren't super comfortable around their in-laws, that's normal. But if you're going to be on such a strict diet you need to let people know (before you show up at their house). Next time maybe just bring your own food so this doesn't become an issue.

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Thank you !. I appreciate all the support a lot

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He says you're insecure- so his solution is to lie and therefore prove to you that you should be insecure?

Plus I don't buy his BS he was a wingman where the plan is to meet up with women.

Did he buy anyone a drink?. Did he sit next to the same woman? Did he dance with that woman? Did he know the woman in advance? Are they connected by social media or texts?

Inform him his lie destroyed your trust. Now he has no right to say "trust me". He's now made himself a liar.

This is a big deal. People divorce for lost trust as often as adultery.

Only he can rebuild trust. What's his plan? He can't say "trust me". At a minimum, to save his marriage he should volunteer : no more going out to a bar with the single friend, and 100% access to his phone and social media accounts.

I only ask because it’s either his ex-girlfriend or it’s not and if it’s not when you take all of that away, you guys have been seeing each other for a little while now he seems to have expressed his interest, and you just went on this trip together. obviously not knowing him or how forward he is. I’m not sure if he would just come right out and say it or not but as he did just get out of a nine year relationship that almost ended in marriage, maybe he’s afraid to get hurt again. If to him you don’t really seem that interested in more, maybe he’s just kind of distancing himself.

Either way, I would be careful because this does smell a lot like a rebound relationship and while he’s probably craving the level of affection he had before I think it will wear off quickly and he may want to explore his options.

And he deleted lol

I agree that 4 months isn't very long to date, which is why this has been a bit conflicting for me. 2 months, though, does feel like a big chunk of time. Either way, I want them to do it because it's important for them and would make them happy. I just personally think that big things like this are important to discuss in any relationship. I.E. "Hey, I want to do this thing. I recognize that it's a long time, so I just wanted to touch base with you re how you feel about stuff like this." I guess it just seems a little... haphazard as is. We've also discussed marriage and kids and even a timeline on those things. We haven't talked about travel, though. May be good to talk about at this point!

> I haven't put anyone on a pedestal like this in the last 10 years

That was a huge mistake. She's a human being just like you and has a life—you made it worse by overreacting to her absence and deleting her when you didn't seem ready to let it go. Once you do those things, you don't get to undo them especially since you haven't known each other long on top of her showing signs of disinterest. I'd say you fucked this one up a little too much, just move on.

Good for you. You’ll feel much better in the long run. You don’t want to live your life wondering what she’s up to etc. Best of luck to you.

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I'm out of town till Friday as soon as I'm back I'm going to have to it's going to be hard but this was my last effort to get some understanding on it all and everyone here has helped me shed light on it thank you