If you’re having trouble emotionally regulating to the point you are being abusive to your partner (and yes, what you have described is emotional/verbal abuse) then perhaps you aren’t mature enough for a relationship.

Do the right thing and break up. Work on yourself while being single. He should not be a casualty of your personal growth.

I thought that too. He kinda put the ball in my court when he said if you want something more than tell me. If he really wanted he could’ve just asked me to be his girlfriend? I understand he probably wasn’t sure how I was feeling so that’s why he said that. To me if felt like he would only be doing it if that’s what I wanted.

I would be worried. I wouldn’t trust what his friend said, as he’s a proven cheater and liar himself. Also the fact your bf hanging out with someone with no morals would be a red flag. You are who your friends are most of the time.

Because she clearly doesn't want to spend the night. I don't know one couple that given the chance wouldn't take it.

Edit. Also remember having been told to leave because she has to work and she can't sleep while you're there. Makes for a very rough 1 hour drive home.

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She’s using you. Pack your bags and leave her to it. She can call on baby daddy to support her ass. Don’t allow yourself to be treated like this. You deserve better.

Do you think you could be acting weird because he brought up being in an actual relationship again and you didn’t enthusiastically say yes you wanted to?

Thank you very much for the breakdown. I hadn't thought of what his intentions could be, which makes sense now. It's such a shame because he is a kind and caring guy but it's the lie for me. At the start of our relationship, l explained how honesty was very important to me which he had now broken. And if he could lie about finances , what else could he lie about.

Made no sense dude. Why

Very true I can and honestly she doesn't work right now she has a job and barely works I work 50 plus hours a week and still come out with nothing each pay because I pay for almost everything you are right and I need to stop letting her use me thank you

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I know. I was just giving it a little time considering i’ve only felt this way for two days. If it continues through the week I was definitely gonna mention something.

I did consider that as well, about being a rebound. It was just confusing because he was the one that brought up what we were doing and told me he liked me a lot. Up until that point I literally had zero expectations because I knew he was getting out of a long relationship.

Ask her to come over to your place. See how she reacts. Do it knowing she doesn't work the next day. If she refuses and just be direct and ask her what's going on.

Well then, you’re perfectly aware that he has a pattern of behavior.

I’m not going to shit on you for being the other woman. I’m sure plenty of other people will, and whether you deserve it or not isn’t for any of us to say. I’m not here for that, I’m genuinely hoping that you learn something and protect yourself.

The fact is that he’s repeating a behavior.

You know it, he knows it, and maybe she knows it. What she knows or does is totally irrelevant, what matters here is what you do, and what he does.

You have to first understand and truly accept that cheaters cheat. Liars lie. Everyone thinks that because they’re aware of it, they can’t become a victim of it, “I know they lied to you, but they won’t lie to me.”

All bullshit. We tell ourselves this for some reason, but it’s not beneficial, or true.

Liars lie. Cheaters cheat.

He’s already treating you the way he probably treated his ex. This cycle has started for him, and it’s unlikely to end.

You can’t stop it. Why? Because there’s nothing in the world that can keep a cheater from cheating. They’ll find someone to have sex with, and if you deny them access to one person, they’ll only go find another.

Because as the other woman, we love to tell ourselves that they would otherwise be a perfect partner, but they just found their true love with us, and their old relationship was simply not enough, right? We’re so uniquely connected that it was only right for him to come to you.

And the realization that he doesn’t think the same way, we’ll that sucks for you.

But the point is, there’s nothing you can do to make a faithful man cheat, and nothing you can do to make an unfaithful man faithful. There’s no one so beautiful, so cool, so accomplished, that they can’t be cheated on. There’s no level of control that will keep a cheater from cheating.

You’re fighting a losing battle. Stop fighting. There’s nothing like insecurity and attempts to control that will drive away a cheater faster.

If there’s nothing to worry about, then nothing you do will change anything, and if he’s going to cheat, then nothing you do can stop him.

ALL THAT BEING SAID:

He’s lying to you. He’s being deceptive in action. He’s verbally abusive. He’s doing all kinds of things to show you how little he cares. Why are you fighting for this relationship?

Finding out early you can’t trust them is usually a good thing. Too bad it was after the kid. Then you gotta think is it my kid. Because now you know she has no problem lying to you. It’s a slippery slope when you lose trust.

Ask them to clarify their feelings about an LDR. He'll, ask yourself what you think of a long distance relationship. Four months isn't long to date but they have to know that not everyone would wait or do LDR for a third of your entire relationship. They might be in the "cross that bridge when we get to it" mindset, and it just didn't occur to them what comes next for you guys.

It's probably not a bad time to bring up future plans in general. Kids, marriage, travel in general, yadda yadda.

Thank your lucky stars that you can get a clean break away from her. She won’t change. Don’t let her use you.

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I said it to her face. I treat you the way you treat me. Don't be surprised if the relationship does not grow. I actually told her I felt low and would be nice If we're together just this one night. Still she did not agree..

First of all, you should straight up ask him how he's feeling about things if you've felt like the vibes are off.

Secondly, from an outsider perspective, I think you should temper your expectations a little bit more to keep your own feelings from getting hurt. This guy is relatively fresh off a breakup of a decade-long relationship and now he's dating someone ten years younger than him. It kinda reads like he's in a rebound situation at the moment. I would definitely proceed slowly while you're figuring out what you guys are doing.

And that's what I'm scared of our first baby is from her previous relationship so honestly I have no obligation to be with her or her daughter I do however love her daughter as my own but I'm worried as well so honestly you are right I need to get out of this whole situation before it gets more hard

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