Soooo I know it may be obvious, but how can I tell him I no longer want to help him?

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>but she's very introverted, she needs her own space a lot and she also feels the need to follow plans and routines in a way that's very at odds with how I am.

Honestly, she might just prefer staying at her own home. I am incredibly introverted and even when I was dating someone I loved, I still wanted to sleep in my own bed most nights. I can't get a restful sleep sharing a bed with someone else. Offering her the drawer is very sweet and I think ensuring she has the things she needs to be comfortable at your place is a great idea, but she still may need her alone time in her own space.

You’d be surprised what scams seemingly intelligent people will fall for, but that is definitely not the case here.

It's true that you don't know what the future holds. A lot can change in 10 years, a lot can change in just one or two years. But, I would never recommend staying in a relationship and "hoping" things will change. I tell anyone in a similar situation that you have to love your partner as they are now. You should not love a future idealized version of your partner.

If it were something small that you could just say "agree to disagree" and move on with your lives that's fine. But this under most circumstances would be a deal breaker. Find a way for your partner to understand or find someone else who will.

If your servers get $15 an hour, the tipping argument doesn’t even apply. Some servers get less than $6 an hour and work places were 20% is the high end of the tips they’ll get. I think it’s pretty obvious who this does and doesn’t apply to.

Personally I’m with you OP. Tipping culture is insane but it’s our reality. My dad is a famously bad tipper and when we go out to eat I insist on paying the tip. I work in the service industry too and it’s just embarrassing to be with a bad tipper. During the times he wouldn’t let me tip I would bring cash along, wait until his backer was turned, and leave extra money on our way out. He doesn’t see it and I don’t have to “nag” anyone.

Also you said you didn’t need an expensive dinner and he insisted on it because HE wanted to go there. He needed to leave the tip or he’ll be emasculated. I think the real issue here is that he’s making this birthday dinner about him and his ego. It’s not about the tip.

I’ll look 🫤

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if you lie, you can’t exactly be mad that they didn’t trust you

He’s 19. You can’t expect a 19 year old to be a good tipper. They have little to no money. Most servers wouldn’t care. Stop making a stink about it and let it be.

Cause she kinda wants to fuck him and doesn't think you two are going to last forever. And you're 22 so if you're trying to settle down then you should find someone e who is also trying to do that.

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Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

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I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

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She is college aged dude. Stop playing obtuse. No one is buying the bullshit

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>Anytime I bring up their friendship he gets very defensive.

Red flag

>he cheated on his ex-wife with me

Red flag

>He had just re-download the app that night and when I opened it up he not only friended the lady from work but he also friended about 5 other girls.

Red flag

>He got very upset, compared me to his ex-wife, and said all women are the same.

Red flag

>So when I found out he added her without talking to me it made me very upset. When I brought up that I had asked for that he said he doesn't remember me telling him that. When I asked him why all of their texts were deleted he said he doesn't know. He said they either just disappeared or he deleted them and doesn't remember doing it.

Red flag

>But then he hides stuff and doesn't seem to understand why it's a problem.

Red flag

I mean, seriously, what else do you need?

Nothing about your bf’s story rings true. He lied over and over again, idk that I would be able to trust him after this.

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Tips are still expected in the 20% range in states where the waiters do have minimal wage. I think more and more people are just tired of these expectations despite the landscape getting better for waiters. I don’t know where OP is but my state has minimum $15 wage for waiters and still when you get a bill the tip percentage STARTS at 20% and you get the stinkeye for going lower.

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You are very welcome OP, happy to help. If there is anything further you felt you could want to ask, please feel free to DM. Either way, a lot of us here are pulling for you no matter which of the various outcomes develops for you.