Why lie unless your doing shady shit?

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I started typing what you said, but I didn’t have the energy lol

Telling him that she’s got a boyfriend, but then keeping him on the hook and lying to you about it does not mean she’s not going to cheat.

She may not, but she lied and lied until you confronted her with the truth. Then blamed you. None of this sounds good.

Sounds like you got a year on him on earth but y’all are both still 16. I worked service industry. I consider myself a fuckin great tipper, and every once and a while I’ll even tip 10%.

All depends on the service tbh, but occasionally I just don’t have it or it’s inconvenient to break a much larger bill. I do go out of my way to make sure it’s 20% for decent service, but often tip 50 or even 100% for Fucking Excellent service. It’s totally situational, I am conscious of the persons workload, time of day, etc etc… If they’re lazy pieces of shit, I’m sorry you are not getting the full amt.

So, just realize there are layers to tipping- as there should be. I’d be more worried about him not being able to calmly communicate with you, but that’s just me. Same with you, so there ya go.

And one of the "good things" about her is that she is "very pretty". Ugh!

OP:

1. Looks don't last; no one is "very pretty" forever.

2. She shouldn't get any kudos for good looks. She received those through the genetic lottery it required no effort on her part!

3. People should be judged on the effort they make to grow as well-rounded mature people - not the superficial aspects over which they have no/limited control (big bust, broad shoulders, height, pretty eyes, "very pretty").

Here are the aspects over which she has control

• her personality - no interests of her own and not interested in yours
• her intellectualism - nothing listed
• her emotional development - she's negative, brooding, argumentative, shirks responsibility
• finances - finally starting a career at 35yo; what's she been doing for the last 1.5 decades? She's selfish and unwilling to share; she wants you to be her wallet
• So, 25% of her "good points" are that she was born attractive while 92% of her "bad points" are things over which she has control; but chooses to ignore. She's too lazy/selfish to make significant changes to herself which are necessary to be in a mature relationship with another adult partner. This woman is NOT the best partner you can find for a long-term relationship. It's a new year; treat yourself to a better relationship with a MATURE person who will pull at least 1/2 the load with you!

As someone who is 30 there is something creepy about being “close friends” with a college kid.

Because they feel like kids at this point.

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If you don’t want to date someone who is young and wants to live like a college kid…don’t date a college kid

It’s really not. And I hate the excuse that they can’t afford it because if you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to eat out. I grew up poor and have had many times in my life where I couldn’t afford shit, but I knew if I could some how budget to go out to eat then I had to include tipping in said budget.

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One of the mandatories a couple has to do before moving in together is to put their financials on the table and create a budget. If she's living paycheck to paycheck but can still afford to fund half of a domestic situation with you that's one thing. But if her intention is to go back to school and have you support her that's clearly a nonstarter. So you'll have to sit down and talk about this, including every detail of her debt to income ratio and how she'd be able to pull her own weight. How to "broach the subject" is to just tell her that living together is a business arrangement as much as a step forward in the relationship. It's simply not something you can do without knowing for certain that she'll be able to pay her fair share of everything in the household.

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Listen, i get what youre tryna say but it still falls onto the employers.

I worked my ass off working 3 service jobs and going to school full time while still having to find a way to have a roof over my head and food. There were times id go 24hrs from work to school to back to work then school again with naps in between.

It was fucken hell.

Having to depend on customers to tip me and having to deal with sexual Harassment with a smile so that i could be sure to get a tip, was fucken inhumane. I had to deal with people telling me some of the worst shit id ever heard all for a $10 tip. Having hot food and drinks thrown at me and me not being able to do shit all for the fucken tip, is inhumane.

Customers get to treat you like shit because they KNOW you expect a tip from them. Oh and employers not doing shit because they didnt want to upset the customer…yea no.

Employers need to pay their staff more.

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Let her know you’re a male presenting trans female lesbian. That should do the trick.

Well, that's the point. I haven't heard his side of things, but I'm telling you, he sounds like he's being very selfish.

Why should you have to do the brunt of the work? Either you find a way to make it 50/50, or the person who does the majority of the work ought to have the say in what's going to happen. In this case, that's you.

Snuffing inappropriate crushes is something any mature adult can do.

You completely disengage from her in all manners as much as possible. No more social media following, no more talking about anything outside work.

For sure don't tell her how you feel. Ridiculous.

"I can't not abort." I assume you mean you can abort. Because that's the obvious solution you emotional child. You had your thrill, now be a man and disengage and let it fade. That's what any decent person does once they figure out they are in your spot.

Yeah, I’m wondering if it might just not be the best idea in general. I feel like it’s more ideal to do when you’re in your early 20’s. I actually did a year abroad already which I guess is why I don’t feel so much of a need to do it.

Just report the troll folks

I don’t think a dude dating a 10 year younger woman who’s barely an adult should complain about “creeps“ and people “taking advantage“ of naive women.

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You can start by turning gay yourself just to try out how hard turning your sexual orientation is. With this experience you can shurely relate how hard it is for her and start a meaningful connection with her.