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No

Yeah. I was one of those people who was childish and insecure, it was a very instant reaction and I regret it, because the reason why I was mad about her handing it to him in the first place had a perfectly fine explanation I was okay with.

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I know your gf is 10 years younger than you 😐 but stop infantilizing her. 20 year olds go out and party. If you want someone past the partying stage, date someone in your age group

Not tipping doesn’t fix this problem. Complaining about tipping on Reddit doesn’t fix this problem. Demanding higher wages for tipped staff is the only possible fix. Otherwise, your just skipping out on your bill to your servers detriment and justifying with a paper this moral argument about how it’s not your responsibility to fix society. It all of our responsibility to do our best. Stiffing your server is not that.

Really?? You have the wrong equipment and everything else. Are you serious?

Okay sorry but if he was really trying to wingman your friend, why would he join them to go back to her house? Surely at that point he'd let the friend go home with her to let the dog out and return to you, otherwise he's sorta cockblocking him? Could be looking at this all wrong but maybe he was gunning for a threesome?

Also, why should the women "better be hot" for him to wingman his friend? Why does it matter to him whether the women are hot if he's not trying to get with any of them?

Idk, I'm a woman so I'm not gonna pretend like I know how guys speak to each other privately but the whole thing seems sketch af.

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No, I wouldn't do it.

But in reality, I find it's hard to do this sort of thing once the ball is rolling in your career. You're better to do it before, or a good ways into your career after you've proven yourself, and have a stable framework to go back to, which in reality, would probably take many years.

If it were me, I'd do like a few weeks in another country before fully committing myself to my career for the long term.

Where does all her money go?

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Restaurants work on razor thin margins. Even the successful ones. My dad owned two and I worked in others for a decade. There are no massive profits in these industries. Look how many successful restaurants closed during the pandemic cause they couldn’t handle a single bad year after long-term success.

Even if none of this was true, the owners will never notice or care that you don’t tip. The servers that are just trying to feed themselves or their families will definitely notice the lack of tip. Especially when some of them make less than $6 an hour. Do you think an hour of their labor is worth less than a value meal at McDonald’s?

I’m trying to figure out how this explanation makes any sense. Why is it so complicated to not stay in contact with people that hit on you? It’s not complicated.

Move on, and don't let her guilt you into trying to fix it. You have had 5 years and nothing has changed. There are many other women who are single and a better fit for you.

Agree. It sounds like OP's bf wants to chat up hot women and relive his single days, using wingman status as an excuse for the ego boost. He may have zero intentions of cheating but putting himself in those kinds of situations is using questionable judgment. (I would argue lots of people don't intend to cheat but their bad choices make it easier.) And lying about it, deleting texts? He better grovel like hell and put in the work in required to regain lost trust. OP, I'd be super hurt and I think you're honestly being super chill (maybe too chill.) What if the situations were reversed and you planned to hang out with a bunch of hot guys? Bet he wouldn't be ok with it

20 year olds are somewhat naive in life and relationships. Her brain isn’t fully developed regarding impulse control and decision making - this is something you can’t change and will effect your relationships and her actions/responses. As a 30 year old man, you’re going to deal with a lot of anxiety and stress as she grows, establishes herself/ego, and makes mistakes. That’s part of growing up…making mistakes. Y’all are clearly at different life stages.

All you can do is talk about safety and I hope her friend and she have each other’s backs.

Also, just because she came onto you, doesn’t mean you were obligated to reciprocate.

Youre right, people have every right to expect to be paid fairly for their work by the people employing them.

Putting the difference on the client does nothing to help the industry get better. People should 100% be paid a livable wage without having to expect tips to supplement their income.

no. he said he blocked then and everything and the person that started the DM group was a different account. i also thought that was suspicious so i asked if he was cheating on me and that’s how they got the pics and he swore up and down no.

How much money was he supposed to get?

> she made the first move

Don't use that as an excuse, because that's not a valid excuse. As a more mature adult, you are supposed to know when some decision made by someone much more inexperienced is wrong. She made the move but you allowed it to continue.

> I'm not here to discuss the age gap in our relationship because we have already spoken a lot about it and we are at terms with it.

You brought this on yourself. It's clear that you're not at terms with it since you are concerned about her going out. Deal with your decision, she's much younger and in a completely different stage in life.

If you thought she was responsible enough to date you, surely you should know that she's responsible enough to go out with her friends. Don't let her feel bad about it. Dating you shouldn't deprive her of enjoying her 20s.

You do know why your insecure right? It's because you have a bf who lies to you.

Edited to correct spelling.

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This was not a trap he fell into. He was trying to sext with someone, they blackmailed him, and he refused to pay. Hon, have some self respect. Dump this cheater. Especially because you uave kids...otherwise you are teaching them that it is okay to treat your partner this way.

She only confessed to you because she realized she was caught. She did not do it because it's about trust or because she wants you to trust her more, or she would've brought it up initially or when first confronted.

You specifically mentioned she originally doubled down. Then, when you revealed evidence/proof, she was lying suddenly she was lying to avoid having that conversation with you.

As the other person said. If you hadn't confronted her about this she would've been fine and happy lying to your face about this.

I'm not saying she would've cheated on you or not. But she wants you to trust her when she blatantly lied to your face multiple times. She's playing you.

It's like someone stabbing you in the back. You turn around and they have a knife in their back and they tell you to turn around. They promise they won't stab you again. It doesn't make sense.

Btw the more I read it your did handle it very immaturely, but it still doesn't change that she's playing you.