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>I am so exhausted, and my therapist has suggested we take a break if he continues to refuse to be present and work on our marriage.

Is that feasible? Like do either of you have either the funds to pay for another housing situation or have someone you could stay with? Because honestly it's good advice. It sounds like he's isolating himself while enjoying the advantages of you being there to take care of things. If he wants to be isolated, let him see what that's actually like.

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Yikes. You’re in a long distance relationship with a woman who you don’t trust and who doesn’t respect you enough to tell the truth 🚩

I don’t blame you for not trusting her, but these are not the foundations of a healthy relationship

Yeah I think I would have to walk away. I can’t in good conscience stay with someone who would choose an ex in another country over me. That’s heavy af.

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> I do not want advice on the age gap

> proceeds to get advice centered on the age gap

In all seriousness - wait with combining finances. If this truly is the one for you, then doing so after marriage is soon enough. If he isn't then you will be glad you waited. If you said 'me or her' - do you think you could walk away if he does not choose you?

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You‘re most definitely the side piece. There is no logical reason for a man in is 40‘s to seriously date someone that young onliest they’re a creep.

The fact is she lied to him in the first place. Feeling weird about your gf saying she did one thing and then finding out she lied is going to bring up questions. He didn’t question their relationship until she lied about this.

You're 21. Go have fun and dont be worried about relationships. Don't ever take back a cheater.

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Because he was hitting on her, we’re in a long distance relationship & she has cheated on an ex in the past. Yeah, I am insecure about this, but why lie to me rather than just remove someone?

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

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• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

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Forgiving her will tell her its ok for her to do so again bc u wont have the nerve to do anything about it. She made her choice when she cheated... u deserve better

Do u want to live forever worrying about who shes around and working with?

I also gotta say what the fuck kind of response is that from your family? Oh, you shouldn’t have picked a widow? You can’t help you fall in love with. But I agree with everybody here pick another day, but don’t call Valentine’s Day. Tell her “I picked today to celebrate our love, I’d like to do it every year, let’s call it love day or something.”

No, but I can maybe assist you in finding someone that would be inexpensive. If you’re east coast USA. I work in behavioral therapy for adults with disabilities, so what you need is outside my field, but I do network with therapists, counselors and social workers often.

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Is she hot?

I'm a man. It's not the fact that he is acting as a wingman. It's who is acting as a wingman for (infidelity).

If it were some friend who was super lonely who really needed help meeting someone, it would be an act of kindness.

But his buddy sounds like he doesn't need a wingman at all, and he could get in him in situations where he makes a life-changing mistake after too many drinks. Like if she had a friend that needed to be entertained.

If his friend wrecked his own relationship, how careful do you think he will be with someone else's?

And why be uncomfortable with it unless you don’t trust her to be faithful? You’re insecure and she lied to placate you.

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