I never demanded it, she mentioned that she deleted it when I told her I was uncomfortable with it

Either way hun this guys seems like a fool and a tool. Is this really what you want? Try finding a man who has it together and only eyes for you. You deserve better - this guy ain’t it.

You are too young and handsome (but not as much as me) to stay with a cheater.

He still might regret it. Don't really see any reason that would be good for your future. Even if we are ignoring the huge red flag on him going after people so young. Usually control of some sort is involved. Young women tend to be much more susceptible to manipulation then the people his age. Financial aid provides control. I have no explanation other than that which makes any sense. Or his still desperately in love with her.

And yeah hiding this from you for so long means he has the mindset to hide serious stuff from you. And texts etc can be deleted and edited to fit a story, not saying that is happening but everything is kinda suspect after something this big

[removed]

Uhhh, I think it was weird that you would demand that she delete some rando. It’s controlling and possessive. She shouldn’t have lied about it though.

[removed]

I woke up asking myself “why” and called him immediately and apologized for spiraling.

[removed]

Oh for sure, I’m in an age gap relationship as well, which is why it’s important to thoroughly vet someone to make sure they’re not using you. And I’m sorry, but this doesn’t seem like a relationship we’re you’re respected. At least not as much as his ex.

birds of a feather flock together. If he’s hanging out with a cheater he’s cheating too.

Yes. Very good point.

Who cares what she said. He’s the idiot that’s falling for it. He doesn’t respect you

[removed]

You desperately need therapy and self reflection.

[removed]

Oh I know it matters. I just don’t want to be bullied or harassed you know?

Yeah I know this all just came up in the last few days I’m in shock. I know I definitely would not be marrying him anytime soon after this. I don’t know if I ever could in good conscience. I tend to hold onto things. So I don’t know I could forgive but never forget unfortunately

[removed]

OP, your life's meaning shouldn't be derived from another person. You should want to live for your sake, not someone else's!

I'm slightly confused about how your passions and your fiancée interact; do you feel like your relationship is preventing you from getting the personal development and help that you need?

Would you like a career in streaming? Do you feel pushed or swayed towards a different career? If this is your problem, I'd really recommend finding something else to do for money, while streaming on the side. Being self-employed without any guarantee of income and severe depression is very unlikely to work out well for you.

You really need to focus on your own wellbeing for now - do you have a doctor? A counsellor? Antidepressants and talking therapy could make a huge positive difference to your life.

[removed]

You're dating a creeper who preys on naive young girls in underdeveloped countries. Ew.

The simple fact that he is hiding something from you as significant as financially supporting his ex should be sufficient reason for you do leave this relationship. Also, most people who are lying about something or trying to hide something will, when confronted, admit to some smaller sin to try to keep something even worse hidden. To spell it out, if he is admitting he is helping her $$$, then that may be just the tip of the iceberg; he may still have significant feelings for her or something even more devastating. As a former, recovered semi-professional liar, I speak from experience. Good luck.

I know you think the age gap doesn’t matter, but he’s with you because you’re 25 years younger and much more naive than you think you are.

[removed]