I really love him. I know the age gap is crazy, but my life is just different I guess. I grew up around all adults, I was never really allowed to hang out with people my age, so I’m generally just more comfortable and prefer older men. He and I agree on pretty much everything. Same politics, same views, same interests, religious beliefs etc. so it does check out at least. I am so hurt because I see myself marrying him..

Amen

I’m having a hard time with it because I just don’t understand. If he left her and he can’t stand her why won’t he stop??? He keeps saying I committed to keep paying through the end of this year, and I’m like dude we are talking about getting married and kids how could you have kept this from me after marriage?!!

Do not combine finances with someone who's still supporting his ex. She sounds like she just wanted to come to America to live, and he was at least smart enough to realize that when she was here. Why is he still sending her money? He can do whatever he wants with his own money, but you don't want yours going to another woman too.

Can you see an actual future with this man? Does he make you truly happy? Will you always be distrustful of him and could you continue to be with someone when you have those doubts?

No it isn't, is not about the box is about he trying to leave and her stoping him and getting physical first. If she was trying to leave and he did the same thing this was not even going to be a discussion.

[removed]

His finances are ultimately his, but he should care about your feelings too.

Either find a way where he continues to support while giving you enough confidence it will be confined (either in it remaining platonic, not increasing in size or quitting altogether).

He wants to help her, but he should also realise that such support should have its limits. Perhaps he hasn't thought about or maybe he already has decided. Talk through it together and stick to the outcome.

A normal, sane 40 year old doesn't go after someone who just turned 20.

No good relationship will ever survive a fight like this. If you’re looking to find advice about how to fix this and move on while you stay together - you won’t find it. Put it this way, there are men you won’t feel the need to assault, and there will be men who won’t respond to being hit by cardboard with that kind of overkill. You want one of those.

I’m also suspicious because people always paint themselves better in these stories and you still don’t come off the best. Therapy is good for everyone but I emphasise its importance here.

Pretty hefty defence against a box of thrown tissues.

If you can't see that this was equally bad on both sides...

Damm

If he has a habit of dating people who are just barely not teens anymore, he's a creep

Well they were never married, but yeah she was also young too.

Your husband is emotionally stunted and has poor communication skills. This could also be compounded by some other mental illness or unresolved trauma. Regardless, he can’t even apply himself in a simple class, what are you realistically going to be able to do to get him to change?

Nothing. You’re doing all you’re able to do. I don’t know what else Reddit can suggest; listen to your therapist. Actions speak louder than words.

He's 25 years older than you and fresh off a break up. Sounds like you're a hot young rebound.

[removed]

[removed]

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[removed]

Yeah because you did. You are the abuser in this one op.

[removed]

No you literally cannot get her pregnant from your penius touching her vagina. It doesn't work that way.

If the condoms are used perfectly then it's very unlikely to have gotten her pregnant.

Women's bodies aren't clockwork; sometimes we ovulate later in our cycles which causes our period to come later.

A test is accurate two weeks after sex and definitive after 3, so if it's been 14 days then she can test and trust it to be accurate.

She chose violence, he just defended himself and his right to leave the place.

I think it's good you're going to therapy. But you have to realize there's nothing you can do to make your girlfriend less depressed around Valentine's Day. Something terrible happened to her, and it's just always going to be a part of her life. Eventually she might get to a point where she can celebrate the day, but she'll have to get there on her own.

The other thing, is that when you say sometimes you wish you could be C, do you always feel like that, or only around this time? If your girlfriend makes you feel loved all the time except when she's remembering someone she loved dying tragically, I'd say yeah, that's part of dating a widow/widower. Now if it's all the time, then that's something worth exploring in therapy. To see if it's really the case or if you're feeling insecure.

Throwing a box of paper is not comparable to physical manhandling. Stop feeling guilty.

Edit.

You could argue that you started the altercation- still one has to argue that men are not allowed to manhandle women. It is the same reason that a professional boxer will get a very hard sentence if he is a street fight and someone gets hurt. The boxer has an advantage. A grown man has the physical advantage (as you see) towards women.