I'm so sorry to hear that happened. My condolences.

Please get yourself help with therapy rather than resign yourself to a life of no self worth. You can be someone's first choice too.

And if you haven't seen my edit to the post I appreciate your comments, anything helps.

Agreed but, I've lived through horrible things and am numb at this point, my self esteem died years ago along with my father and girlfriend.

It may be cruel but I'm used to pain at this point, if she ends up falling for me it will all be worth it if she doesn't then we will just stay friends forever. I'm just here looking to see if anybody else thinks that she could have a change in heart. I made the girl a promise to always be there for her regardless of the situation at hand.

Up to you. Definitely the self destructive option and will lead to self esteem issues. Waiting for someone who doesn't like you back is dumb.

This is why I do not recommend "talking" to your partner. They always come up with a logical explanation that still does not remove your doubt. My advice is: Trust your gut. Your gut is raising so many questions even after her seemingly logical explanation, so you know what to do.

He’s given you an ultimatum, why are you even entertaining the thought he can dictate terms. Leave his ass

I'm fine with being a backup option, even if I have to wait. Plus even with my background I still wouldn't be able to block her and remove her if I wanted to.

I will respond

Yes thank you,

1. I agree

2.i definitely can not offord it, he lives in a 1 bedroom 1 bath apartment. They are asking $1,400 for a 12 year new lease. I still have my car payments, my health insurance, phone plan, etc. etc.

3. Do I want to live with him right now? No, Do I want to live with him down the road? Yes, his current apartment is only fit for 1 person, not 2. He does have a full grown Sheppard that sleeps in a huge kennel (takes up alot of space) he never keeps food in his apartment, due to him working alot and never home. If I were to bring all my clothes/furniture/essentials, there would be no where to put any of my stuff. I've had a conversation with him about finding a apartment that is a bit bigger for his needs also, because he does have his family over alot and its super cramped, but ofc he can't offord anything else but where he is at now.

This is the first time I've heard him Brought up this altimatum. The first year we started dating the only serious conversation was that he wanted me to stay over more, and I did.

This is just you trying to justify you staying around with her. I'm saying it's your choice to be around her, just know that you'll be a backup option.

Yes, but any info is good info in my book

She isn't dating him, or anybody right now, they have a fling where she loves him but he doesn't want to move on with her in life and she isn't liking that, and she knows she's dumping everything on me she's supposed to I told her and made sure that she does, she even apologizes everyday for being emotional or talking to me about it.

This is irrelevant

We are always on the phone having legitimate on average of 10-52 hour phone call sessions every day for the last 3 weeks even rn as I'm replying she's on the phone with me.

Well just so you know, if this keeps going you're just staying there as her backup option whether she intends to or not. It's cruel to want someone to have unrequited feelings for you.

She’s using you as an emotional crutch to make herself feel better.

All the time she’s hurting with her bf, you’re there to build her up. He should be the one doing that.

She loves having you there to dump on and doesn’t care if it hurts you.

You need to distance yourself because she’s never going to be yours.

And beware, if she dumps him and finds the perfect partner, she will not be there for you any more because she wo t need you.

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I am friends with her and always will want to be, I pointed this out to her and she said no that it's completely normal and ok with me still having feelings and waiting that it wouldn't make me a creep.

Advice? Leave the idiot now. He doesnt have 2 brain cells to rub together.

To be frank - no means no. Thinking anything else makes you creepy. If you have feelings for her and you can't be friends with her, then don't be. You're not obligated to

Is he threatening suicide? Op this is next level crazy. If he's suicidal you really need to call the paramedics. Now.

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If he is willing to break up over this, this is something you need to know. He may very well be pushing the issue based on finances, does he realize that the agreement he is insisting on will put you at risk financially? A real boyfriend, any real friend would never ask this from you. Tell him that the answer is no as soon as you can to give him time to find a roommate and a new girlfriend.

Thank you for this. Will be looking out for those red flags. But I sincerely hope, with all my heart, that what he said is completely true.

There are 3 issues that I’ll address separately:

1. His current ultimatum: Yes this sounds like he plans on using you to pay the rent, this has nothing to do with you. I wouldn’t do it. Such moves need to be planned.

2. Money: imo it’s not fair that he wants you to pay 50/50 or actually even more than that due to electricity when he earns more. It sounds also like you currently can’t afford it. Tell him, state clearly that you can’t and won’t and you two need to figure out a fair and doable split.

3. Moving in: Do you actually want to live with him? Do you like his current apartment? Think about what you need and tell him your needs. Do you need a home office? If yes, ask where you can set it up and see if the solution is acceptable. Same for space for your stuff, is there enough? It might happen that you both need to move to a different apartment in order to move in together.

And one important question for the issue at hand: has he brought up moving in seriously before the rent was raised? If not, you have your answer and also a lot more info on the relationship. Do not rush this. But if he seems receptive of the 3 issues above and ready to compromise then I’d say you can start making plans to move the relationship forward if it feels right to you- however not with his current conditions. Talk to him.