Recent comments in /f/relationship_advice

BrockVelocity t1_j6lipe0 wrote

Reply to My husband (30M) wants kids in the future and I (26F) realized in the past months/years that I indeed don‘t by nocluesince1996

>I told him my worries (many different reasons) he is kind and understands my point of view.
>
>...
Should I talk directly to him and say: I will never want kids, I won‘t change my mind, can you accept that?

Wait, if you haven't told him that already, what have you told him? What exactly did you say when you "told him [your] worries?"

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ladyorthetiger0 t1_j6li2d3 wrote

Reply to My (M25) girlfriend (F25) cries a lot and it’s taking a toll on me by basketweaver231

Is she actually asking you to fix her problems for her, or are you just offering because you think that's what she wants?

A lot of women cry when we get overwhelmed. And a lot of men tend to think that means those women need their problems fixed by them. This is not the case. Many of us can and will fix our own problems as soon as we're done crying it out.

So my advice is, stop trying to fix her problems. See what happens if you step back and let her handle it. That doesn't mean not empathizing or being supportive, you can do those things without stepping in and problem solving.

Maybe she actually wants you to fix her problems, or maybe just being supportive for someone who cries so often is too much, and if either of those are the case you should re-evaluate the relationship.

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notunek t1_j6lh1r4 wrote

Reply to My husband (30M) wants kids in the future and I (26F) realized in the past months/years that I indeed don‘t by nocluesince1996

You have been honest with your husband and told him from the start that you don't want children. So that's good for you. He cannot say that he didn't know that.

Rather than concentrating on all the reasons you don't want kids I would emphasize the benefits of not having them. You can mention having more disposible income, traveling, enjoying hobbies, etc.

Let him know that if he wants to be around children you will look for some kids of friends or neighbors and you can all go camping for the weekend. That might cure his itch.

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Andle_Randle t1_j6lg5gn wrote

Reply to My 22F girlfriend of 1 month cheated on me 32M and lied about it what should I do by [deleted]

You should just cut your losses and leave. She cheated on you within weeks of making things official and straight up told you that she can't guarantee it won't happen again. Like, cmon man, this is in no way a stable foundation to build a relationship on, and you definitely haven't been dating long enough to make sticking around and hoping she changes worthwhile.

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Reply to My 22F girlfriend of 1 month cheated on me 32M and lied about it what should I do by [deleted]

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MadTownMich t1_j6leeoh wrote

Reply to How to talk my BFF (32F) about my (31F) money issues by HanShotF1rst226

Be very honest. It’s okay to share your true financial issues. If she pays your way, please accept it graciously. If she hesitates at all, it is okay to say no. You support her but just can’t contribute the finances. Also, side note: you’re good. Unfortunately, most of us don’t have rich families or trust funds!

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msmongolian t1_j6ldnph wrote

Reply to comment by smartgirl_dumbmouth in Should I (25 f) be in a relationship with my bf (26 m)? by [deleted]

The fact that he feels comfortable asking you to make all these changes so early in the relationship gives you an idea of how much he lets his insecurities run his life, and by proxy, yours. I won’t tell you to break up with him, but I do suggest living your life in accordance with your values and letting him take it or leave it. He’s the one asking you to change. If he doesn’t like you as you are, then that’s his problem, not yours.

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shesprague23 t1_j6ldcyf wrote

Reply to I [30M] found lingerie I’ve never seen before in my wife’s [24F] work bag. by [deleted]

I have no idea about whether or not your wife is doing anything inappropriate, but i will say that i have a lot of matching bra and panty sets that i don't really consider lingerie and i do wear them for myself, not just for my boyfriend. I also have true lingerie that he's never seen because I've bought it but just didn't end up feeling confident enough to wear it or am just saving it. I also have some borderline sexy matching PJ sets that are lingerie-adjacent, and I'll wear them on a business trip just because it feels like fun and fancy and adult to lounge in a hotel room alone in something sexy. I've never cheated but your exact situation could have feasibly happened to me.

Not saying there's nothing nefarious going on, but her explanation about the underwear would track for me. Sounds like there's more that's setting off alarms for you though.

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