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I think it's not that relationships are not for you. I think you just haven't found a compatible partner yet.

Phil?

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Then I suggest you two sit down with a doctor and discuss how not to make a baby, because you're doing it all wrong.

Considering that he won't be in that child's life for long either, make sure you don't get stuck with raising it. Secure what needs to be secured, figure out your finances and evaluate if you want to stay in this relationship with your dad. It is absolutely gross from them both. Your feelings are valid. Two adults doesn't mean at the same stage of life, growth or maturity.

I mean, it's one thing to be sensitive but that seems like an excessive amount of getting upset on a regular basis. Unless she's actually seen a psychiatrist or therapist before I wouldn't immediately rule out some sort of imbalance, may it be depression or not. There's all sorts of mood disorders out there, and if she starts to cry at the littlest inconvenience that means that her moods aren't very stable. You say that these crying jags can continue on and off throughout the day- hormone imbalances can also put your body out of whack, where these emotional outbursts are just bubbling waiting for something to give them permission to bubble over.

Maybe she was an only child or the youngest and used to getting negative attention like this from her parents. Even if you guys have a good relationship, sometimes people revert back to immature, childlike behaviors when they are in a relationship with someone they trust. She's getting her needs met when you jump into caregiver mode, which isn't fair to you, bc being around someone who is so fragile that even simple things like filling out a form can ruin their entire day is a bit much.

You cannot walk around on eggshells avoiding confrontational conversations simply to spare yourself even more tears on her end. If she's crying all the time, you're going to have to cope with it anyways, so you might as well get this stuff off your chest before you end up resenting the relationship enough where you are just done with all of it. Whether you suggest she see a doctor to check her levels, or a therapist to teach her some actual coping skills, something's gotta give!

Thank you for saying this! I feel like I have tried to communicate this but I probably sugar coated it because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I might take what you said and copy and paste it lol

Hire a PI then you will know. Don’t bring it up again until time passes so your wife will think everything is ok and let her guard down

We face time multiple times a day and always at least for an hour. I try to explain to him that if I don’t reply to a text it means I’m busy but that does not stop him from double texting me making sure ‘I’m good’. He told me he has a past of exs cheating on him but I would never do that. Just personally not my thing.

I haven’t thought that much about a future with him. He talks about me moving to where he is stationed but I can’t imagine giving my life up here. I’ve never seen a future with any potential partner I’ve always seen my future as living alone with no kids and traveling.

Thank you, I would pick up drinking again if this was how I would spend the rest of my life. It would be a shame to see my children walk across the stage, grabbing their diplomas, and to not truly be happy.

>>She cries at least once a week and it’s basically always my job to console her and fix her problem.

You don't have to console her! Let her cry, remove yourself, come back later. You're telling yourself a bad story if you say it's your job to console her. You don't have to do that.

Sounds like you already know your answer if the word you use to describe your relationship is "traumatic." Definitely time to move on.

What she needs is to develop a thicker skin and some frustration tolerance. But you cannot do that for her. I think at some point you're going to stop wanting to be her emotions handkerchief. Good luck to you. You did not cause her problem, you cannot fix it, all you can do is take care of yourself.

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Man, you are too young for this shit, is this really how you want to spend the rest of your life? Get out now! You don’t have kids, take it from someone older than you that should’ve listened to people trying to tell me the same thing when I was your age, and ended up learning the hard way because I didn’t listen.

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There is no one way to be a good girlfriend. It's really important to have open communication at all times about your feelings. In the case of the need for a little more space from your bf (which sounds funny bc it's long distance, but he's somehow managed to become clingy despite the distance lol), this means telling him what's on your mind in a positive way. You gotta simply let him know "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that sometimes the amount of texting is a bit much- I don't usually sit glued to my phone all day, and when I don't answer the texts, you blow up my phone like I am dead on the side of the road or something lol". Say it however you wish, but you've gotta be pretty straightforward about this. Also, you don't have to answer the phone. There's nothing wrong with putting your phone on silent when you are out and about, and getting in touch with him when you are finished. If he flips out, let him- people overreacting to innocent actions is not a you problem, it's a him problem!

Also, a lot of people text with their partners all day, in long rambling convos, but it doesn't mean you have to respond immediately every text if you're busy. Maybe try to pause the convo next time with "I'm going to be busy doing XYZ for a couple hours. I will get intouch tonight once I am settled in."

If he behaves irrationally when setting very simple boundaries, harder chats need to happen. Not every relationship is like this! He might just be a bit needier than you initially thought...and if he cannot respect your boundaries then maybe it's not the right guy, not that you aren't a relationship person...

Pretty much, that is how I got myself in this situation, after all?

A normal check in for a long distance relationship might be 1 or 2 calls per day, of moderate length (3-10 minutes).

Text messages are asynchronous and it should be assumed that people will often go for hours without responding. If I see non-urgent messages from my wife during the workday, I'm not responding until my day slows down. She knows this.

Personal opinion? He's jealous and afraid you're sleeping around. That's why he's checking on you constantly. In his defense, this problem is EXTREMELY common in military romances; a civilian partner who sleeps around while the serviceman is deployed is a story you will hear from MANY active duty and veterans.

I guess the larger question is: assuming you resolve this speedbump, how do you see the future? Are you two actually compatible? Or are you going to prefer a more solitary existence even after he's discharged and wants to live with you 24/7?

What do you do when you have to go to the grocery store? Or walk down the street? Jesus Christ, no one is asking you to adopt the kids who will be at the wedding. You seriously can’t stay in the same room - which will be a large freaking room if we’re talking a reception hall - with a couple of kids that you won’t even have to interact with, for a few hours?

In the beginning, it was ecstatic. Then, over time, I began to experience a side of her that I had not seen before.

Something most people dont/won't see until they have spent considerably some time together romantically or intimately.

When we first started having intercourse, it lasted for hours. Something that astonished even myself. I would finish multiple times throughout the sessions we would have.

Pretty much around the first year together is when it started to change for the worse.

A bit before our first year together, I had to start taking Prozac. That is when I began to see more of her, the other side of her personality. After that is when more events and situations transpired.

I think it’s pretty drastic to say relationships in general are not for you, but there seems to be a compatibility issue with this one.

I would have an honest conversation with him about it and let him know that while you still like him and all his wonderful qualities, you are at a breaking point with this particular behavior. He may not be aware of how much he has changed in that regard. If he is not open to the conversation/willing to work to meet you in the middle, you have your answer and should probably end the relationship there.

Hmmm. If you are suspicious of her having sex with anyone besides you, you can use this product called Check Mate that detects semen or seminal fluid on fabric such as undies.

>We don't use protection, I don't want to have children until years from now. But she refuses to use condoms, I have told her I'm not going to try the "Pull-out" method because that is something I am not going to risk.

Are you.. mentally deficient?